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My children are not allowed to be Gay *Edit in red*

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Or straight for that matter until they're 13.

There's been a lot of negative talk around the house lately about sexual preference . Some neighborhood kids are accusing my 7 year son of being gay. (He likes to chase boys and pretend to kiss them) Then my younger two (7 and 5) have over heard my dd's friends talk about homosexual this and bi that. We've talked and talked but I feel like I'm just spinning in circles.

So I decided to nip it in the bud. I made the announcement last night that all kids are A-sexual, meaning they don't like anyone. And like religion (that's another subject we're going round and round with), you're not allowed to chose what you are until you're a teenager. The kids seemed satisfied and my 13 year old dd took that as an opportunity to announce that she was officially Straight and Christian!

We have some funny dinner table conversations LOL


I never said they weren't allowed to like anyone. I had my first crush at 5 (A neighbor boy) And my next big crush at 8 (My sister's bf Andrea) Did that make me Gay, Straight, or Bi? I didn't know or care. I was a kid.

The issue isn't me not wanting my kids to like other kids, but them feeling forced to identify their sexuality when they aren't ready too. My 5 year old can come home tomorrow and say she likes Suzie. I'll smile and say that's great. It doesn't make her a lesbian though. That is something that she has to decide when she's ready too and 5 isn't it.

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Replies (41-50):
paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:33 PM

I couldn't care less if they had crushes on kids tomorrow. Hell I had my first crush when I was 5. The "rule" was for their peace of mind, not mine. They were stressing about something that didn't need to be stressed about. So mommy fixed it :-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Just try to remember that if they surprise you, actually having some feelings or concerns at an age younger than 13, that you're open to it and do not faint and fall over. ;)

Quoting paganbaby:

No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

Quoting paganbaby:

*Big smile*

But why??

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

But you might want to rethink this.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:35 PM

They're close to mine! I have 7 and 13 :-)

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

12 & 7

Quoting paganbaby:

How old are the boys?

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

I'm still in the learning process so it's nice to learn with the boys.... Just wish I had books instead of having my kindle on my computer....

Quoting paganbaby:

*High Five*! I've been getting back into my rituals again just to balance things out too. The kids go to church every Sunday, (I need the break) But I was worried they were having too much of one influence too.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

I actually think that's a good thing to do! With my children I've told them (religion wise) that they can "study" whatever they choose. We follow more of the pagan way but my family and DF's family are DIEHARD Catholics (The type that cram it down your throat). and My kids are easily influenced. But I won't allow them to be influenced so I've been practicing more but allowing them to go with my family so they can see both sides equally. They have been doing rituals, spells, etc and told my mom so now my mom has been taking them less and told them that since they are more interested in Paganism and Wicca that they may just want to stay on "my side" of "Satanism" they laughed and said, "It's the natural life, and Christianity was based off of Paganism anyways Nonnie!" (nonnie is what they call my mom).

I've had my oldest 12 do research on Paganism and Christianity/Catholism. So he understands. I want my kids to make a solid decision... unlike me when I was younger.






Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Lizardannie1966
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:36 PM

I know you fixed it. I'm simply saying to not be surprised if they change their own minds on this before that magical age of 13.

Someone else attempted to make it seem like I questioning your parenting methods. Never happened and never will.

I think you're an awesome Mom from all that I've read from you over the years. You attempting to give them a piece of mind is a prime example of that good parenting.

Quoting paganbaby:

I couldn't care less if they had crushes on kids tomorrow. Hell I had my first crush when I was 5. The "rule" was for their peace of mind, not mine. They were stressing about something that didn't need to be stressed about. So mommy fixed it :-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Just try to remember that if they surprise you, actually having some feelings or concerns at an age younger than 13, that you're open to it and do not faint and fall over. ;)

Quoting paganbaby:

No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

Quoting paganbaby:

*Big smile*

But why??

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

But you might want to rethink this.







paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:37 PM

It's not so much that kids are calling him gay, as him worrying that he has to be gay or straight.

Quoting romalove:

 I don't know how enforcing this rule makes a difference in your son's life, the one who is chasing boys to kiss them (innocently or not) and is dealing with kids calling him gay.

 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

romalove
by Roma on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:40 PM

 

Quoting paganbaby:

It's not so much that kids are calling him gay, as him worrying that he has to be gay or straight.

Quoting romalove:

 I don't know how enforcing this rule makes a difference in your son's life, the one who is chasing boys to kiss them (innocently or not) and is dealing with kids calling him gay.

 


 So he's OK with the kids calling him gay as long as he doesn't have to figure out if he's gay or straight right now?

How do the boys who are being chased to be kissed feel about that?

SarahLizyB
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Really? I think it will do more harm than good
paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Shoot, I'd be shocked if they didn't change their mind before 13,lol.

I just picked 13 because it's far enough away and it's "teen" that magical age between childhood and adulthood. That and their sister just turned 13 and she would be insulted if I said otherwise...

And I wouldn't worry about that. We've known each other on here for years. I knew what you were getting at ;-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

I know you fixed it. I'm simply saying to not be surprised if they change their own minds on this before that magical age of 13.

Someone else attempted to make it seem like I questioning your parenting methods. Never happened and never will.

I think you're an awesome Mom from all that I've read from you over the years. You attempting to give them a piece of mind is a prime example of that good parenting.

Quoting paganbaby:

I couldn't care less if they had crushes on kids tomorrow. Hell I had my first crush when I was 5. The "rule" was for their peace of mind, not mine. They were stressing about something that didn't need to be stressed about. So mommy fixed it :-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Just try to remember that if they surprise you, actually having some feelings or concerns at an age younger than 13, that you're open to it and do not faint and fall over. ;)

Quoting paganbaby:

No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

Quoting paganbaby:

*Big smile*

But why??

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

But you might want to rethink this.








Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:46 PM

Haha!  I adore you!

paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:47 PM


Quoting romalove:

 

Quoting paganbaby:

It's not so much that kids are calling him gay, as him worrying that he has to be gay or straight.

Quoting romalove:

 I don't know how enforcing this rule makes a difference in your son's life, the one who is chasing boys to kiss them (innocently or not) and is dealing with kids calling him gay.

 


 So he's OK with the kids calling him gay as long as he doesn't have to figure out if he's gay or straight right now?

How do the boys who are being chased to be kissed feel about that?

Pretty much.

The boys he chases don't care. Thay play a game called old grandma. Bubba pretends to be a grandma and chases them while yelling, "Mwah, mwha, mwha!!!" "You get back here sonny!"

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Breastfeeding tickers

Lizardannie1966
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 12:48 PM

*sigh that magical age.

Then it becomes the magical age of 16. Then 18. Then 21. And then.........what is the next magical age?

:) I figured you did know but thought I'd clarify.

Quoting paganbaby:

Shoot, I'd be shocked if they didn't change their mind before 13,lol.

I just picked 13 because it's far enough away and it's "teen" that magical age between childhood and adulthood. That and their sister just turned 13 and she would be insulted if I said otherwise...

And I wouldn't worry about that. We've known each other on here for years. I knew what you were getting at ;-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

I know you fixed it. I'm simply saying to not be surprised if they change their own minds on this before that magical age of 13.

Someone else attempted to make it seem like I questioning your parenting methods. Never happened and never will.

I think you're an awesome Mom from all that I've read from you over the years. You attempting to give them a piece of mind is a prime example of that good parenting.

Quoting paganbaby:

I couldn't care less if they had crushes on kids tomorrow. Hell I had my first crush when I was 5. The "rule" was for their peace of mind, not mine. They were stressing about something that didn't need to be stressed about. So mommy fixed it :-)

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Just try to remember that if they surprise you, actually having some feelings or concerns at an age younger than 13, that you're open to it and do not faint and fall over. ;)

Quoting paganbaby:

No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

Quoting paganbaby:

*Big smile*

But why??

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

But you might want to rethink this.









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