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Is choosing to be a stay at home mom just a bad idea? Is it too risky?

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I am talking about what happens in the case of divorce/break up (or death/disability).  Many women who choose to become stay at home mothers, even if they have a college education and job experience, are going to have a difficult time getting back on their feet financially.  It is one thing to be married to a man with a decent income because in that case a woman may get enough child support plus alimony plus half of everything else to live comfortably, but that depends upon the length of the marriage and other factors, etc.  However, so many women are living UNMARRIED with their children's fathers and some with men who are not related to their children and they will get absolutely NOTHING for themselves once that relationship ends. 

Is it just too risky?

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Replies (421-428):
LindaClement
by Linda on Oct. 24, 2012 at 11:05 AM

What?

Quoting tmedwick:

Omg like I said before, " that is just what I heard, but that could all be wrong." Learn to read before u try and start a stupid argument on something that I had clearly stated as hearsay. Oh and grow up and get over yourself.


Quoting LindaClement:

I'd love to know what kind of magic math makes that happen, one income or two.

No matter what, the total is being spread over 2 households, and that kind of math simply doesn't add up to 'as comfortable as before.'

Quoting tmedwick:

Just simply meaning that ur life has to be just as comfortable as it was before the divorce.





Quoting futureshock:


Quoting tmedwick:

I think it depends on which state u live in also cuz where I'm from ive heard if you are married and a stay at home mom and you end up getting a divorce the soon to be ex husband has to pay you as much as he was before, meaning that you are able to have a comfortable living without a job since that was the arrangment you had when u were married. But that could be all wrong, that is just what I've heard.

lmao

What does this mean?

the soon to be ex husband has to pay you as much as he was before,






hippiecrit
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:04 PM

Sometimes we have no choice. Sometimes we do end up launched into poverty at the end of even a long marriage. I was. But- I was able to make a quick recovery and start to provide for my kids as well as their father had done. It was hard to work two jobs and be close with my kids. I had to have them work with me at my second job just to get everything done and to spend time with them. Then I quit working and returned to school, which launched us once again into poverty. But it was not a bad thing. We all agreed to forfeit most of the things in our lives that cost us money, and the kids were not unhappy because of money. If you are a creative and well-grounded mom, you will be able to get your kids through it ok.  If I had not had so many years as a SAHM, I would not have had the relationship with my kids that got us through it all.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:43 PM


Quoting hippiecrit:

Sometimes we have no choice. Sometimes we do end up launched into poverty at the end of even a long marriage. I was. But- I was able to make a quick recovery and start to provide for my kids as well as their father had done. It was hard to work two jobs and be close with my kids. I had to have them work with me at my second job just to get everything done and to spend time with them. Then I quit working and returned to school, which launched us once again into poverty. But it was not a bad thing. We all agreed to forfeit most of the things in our lives that cost us money, and the kids were not unhappy because of money. If you are a creative and well-grounded mom, you will be able to get your kids through it ok.  If I had not had so many years as a SAHM, I would not have had the relationship with my kids that got us through it all.

Ok, but on the other hand if you hadn't been a SAHM for so many years maybe you wouldn't have had to live in poverty.  Just another view.

andiemomo3
by Andie on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:05 PM

So, as an insight into my life.  I had a great job before kiddos.  Then I chose to stay home after the second kiddo.  Nine years and three children later I am finally working again.  It took FOREVER to find a job after being a SAHM.  I finally found a niche that fits and that I love.  However, most employers considered my SAH experience nothing.  Nil.  Blah.  I had an empty resume as far as employers were concerned.

dustinsmom1
by JENN on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:51 PM

 Palimony

LntLckrsCmQut
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:40 PM

It's risky if you will be left with nothing if he leaves.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:24 PM


Quoting andiemomo3:

So, as an insight into my life.  I had a great job before kiddos.  Then I chose to stay home after the second kiddo.  Nine years and three children later I am finally working again.  It took FOREVER to find a job after being a SAHM.  I finally found a niche that fits and that I love.  However, most employers considered my SAH experience nothing.  Nil.  Blah.  I had an empty resume as far as employers were concerned.

That is scary, so how did you finally get a job?

andiemomo3
by Andie on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:35 PM

A friend found me a spot at the business she works for.  They actually wanted people like me to train them up their way.

Quoting futureshock:


Quoting andiemomo3:

So, as an insight into my life.  I had a great job before kiddos.  Then I chose to stay home after the second kiddo.  Nine years and three children later I am finally working again.  It took FOREVER to find a job after being a SAHM.  I finally found a niche that fits and that I love.  However, most employers considered my SAH experience nothing.  Nil.  Blah.  I had an empty resume as far as employers were concerned.

That is scary, so how did you finally get a job?


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