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I find it hard to believe people still do this

I know four women in their 30's who got pregnant and married the baby's father. These women didn't get married because they were in 'love', but because she wanted to legitimize her child. Two of those women are seperated and divorcing. The other two are miserable in their marriages.

Why do women/men feel the need to legitimize their children with marriage?

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:44 AM
Replies (371-380):
LKRA
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:02 PM

Latest Spawn:

Eldest spawn:


Quoting Stephanie329:

I've missed you too and hope you stick around :)

Boy child smells bad? Oh my goodness - chronic diarrhea possibly?

My boys are teenagers. Gulp, TEENAGERS!

This is a whole new ball game and I spend a lot of the day in my bedroom curled into a fetal position.


Quoting LKRA:

*blows kisses* I've missed you, darlin'.


I've been AWESOME! The boy is VERY sweet. A good-natured child.


But.


He smells, Steph. I mean, he stinks. He has since he was about three months old.


So gross.


He'll be a year old next Friday, if you can believe it.


No more chillens for us; Bean got snipped back in April. *sigh* I'll miss being pregnant. I loved it.


How are J00! Boys still alive?


Quoting Stephanie329:

Well spanx, nothing surprised me anymore about you ;)

How have you been? Is boy child as scary as you thought he'd be?

Are you knocked up again yet?

Quoting LKRA:


*raises hand*



lol



Quoting Stephanie329:

I'm with OP, who still does this?


 


 


Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:06 PM


Quoting LKRA:

Latest Spawn:

Eldest spawn:


they're beautiful!

KSK0811
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:16 PM

 Not this girl. I have one child and one on the way with SO and no plans to wed any time soon.

Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:43 PM
I am overwhelmed with cuteness!

I cannot fathom that angel being stinky.


Quoting LKRA:

Latest Spawn:




Eldest spawn:




Quoting Stephanie329:

I've missed you too and hope you stick around :)

Boy child smells bad? Oh my goodness - chronic diarrhea possibly?

My boys are teenagers. Gulp, TEENAGERS!

This is a whole new ball game and I spend a lot of the day in my bedroom curled into a fetal position.



Quoting LKRA:


*blows kisses* I've missed you, darlin'.



I've been AWESOME! The boy is VERY sweet. A good-natured child.



But.



He smells, Steph. I mean, he stinks. He has since he was about three months old.



So gross.



He'll be a year old next Friday, if you can believe it.



No more chillens for us; Bean got snipped back in April. *sigh* I'll miss being pregnant. I loved it.



How are J00! Boys still alive?



Quoting Stephanie329:

Well spanx, nothing surprised me anymore about you ;)

How have you been? Is boy child as scary as you thought he'd be?

Are you knocked up again yet?


Quoting LKRA:



*raises hand*




lol




Quoting Stephanie329:

I'm with OP, who still does this?



 



 



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kenleespice
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:48 PM


Quoting Mazie0723:


Quoting kenleespice:

 

Quoting Mazie0723:

I married for love... :) An old friend of mine is 30 and just wants to marry any man that will have her she doesn't care about love she just wants someone to take of her and her fatherless children. Its sad and pathetic.

no its not sad and pathetic,its that she is probably lonely and tired of doing it all by herself,and the fact that you old friend and she is only 30 tells me you are very young and have yet to experience real life

lol I am 30 myself. I said old friend because she is no longer my friend. It is very sad that she would settle. And no one made her have unprotected sex with those men and have kids. She gets pregnant to try and trap guys and after the first two times it didn't work you'd think she'd learn but nope. She has been "pregnant" at least 6 times in the last 3 years but keep losing them. I guess you'd have to know her personally to understand

oh ok ;) sounds like she does have issues then,

OHgirlinCA
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:49 PM

I would say family pressure, or their upbringing if they were in their upper teens/lower 20's, but in your 30's, I believe your actions are due to you more as an individual thinker than feeling pressure from others.  Although, maybe those in their 30's don't want to be looked down upon by their peers for not being married and still feel pressure by others?  Maybe they live in communities that would do that? 

***shrugs***

SewingMamaLele
by Leanne on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it's so much to "legitimize" the child, but rather to give them a family.   Me and DH got engaged when I was 9 months pregnant with #1, and married when he was 16 months old.   Would that have happened had I never gotten pregnant?    I seriously doubt it.   We had a lot of problems in the beginning and if we were just dating, with no child involved, one or both of us would have left.   But, we had a child to think about and so we made the commitment to make our relationship work.  That did involve marriage for us.  

So, it wasn't that we didn't want our child to be illegitimate, it's that we felt it was our responsibility to provide a secure and stable home and life for him.   Making our relationship work was and is a key part of that.. and now after 3 kids we're stronger than I think we've ever been.   I hope that it doesn't change as we get older, but I trust in the fact that if we are willing to work on it, we can make it work.

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irishgal63
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:42 PM

   my  (bio)father  BULLIED  me  into giving  my  son  up  for  adoption(when  I, &  my  boyfriend  were  24),

  that  was  25yrs.  ago, have  ALWAYS  regretted  not  keeping  my  son  AND  standing  up  to  my  (bio)father,

 even  if  it  meant  being  a  single  parent, etc.  !

                                                                                                        Patrick's   b-mom,

                                                                                                                       Lori  Leary

LaChat
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:13 PM

I married my first husband because I was pregnant and I have no
regrets -- even though he was horribly abusive, both verbally and
physically. If I hadn't married him, I wouldn't have had my second
daughter
. I also wouldn't have met my current husband (to whom
I've been very happily married for over fifteen years) and had my
son with him.

kckmom3
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:59 PM
No one is calling anyone a whore, so calm down...obviously not your fault if you were raped

Quoting AdrianneHill:

I just had to come back to this. What do you tell the girls that had sex when they were very young, like preschool?



That their gift was stolen and they didn't fight hard enough? They don't count among the good girls anymore? Their body is now a playground for anyone since no husband can claim the right of first night privilege anymore? It happens more often than you think.

I hung out with a rougher crowd probably than you did and trying to stress to a girl that had no control over her body is now gonna reap the punishment of not being pure enough is a great way to make a bunch of sluts, I can attest, I knew many of them. They were sad and angry and self loathing. Telling then that it doesn't count if you didn't say yes is a lie that screams back to the Bible, letting the girl no that it doesn't matter what she wanted, the flap of skin is no longer there, the hymen is gone, she's a whore.




Quoting toomanypoodles:

 



Quoting AdrianneHill:

Good for you. I can't imagine what the sex was like.
Great, now I can stop myself.




Quoting toomanypoodles:



Quoting AdrianneHill:

Because I was thirty seven years old when I got married. That's a lot of life waiting for Mr right. I didn't meet my husband until I was over thirty. Ugh, what a different life. I probably would have married the first one to ask...icky.




Quoting toomanypoodles:




 Why do women sleep with men before they are married?!  That's what I want to know.





Women are just asking for trouble when they mess around before they have a wedding ring. 




I married at 33. I waited for Mr. Right and married him---and we were BOTH virgins! How "antiquated" and nuts are we?! lol



 Knowing that our bodies were only for each other has been one of the greatest blessings in our life. 



I wish more women would realize that their virginity is quite a gift they can give to their husband on their wedding night.  I hope I have instilled this in my own daughters. 

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