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Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

S/O of a S/O ...Adoption?

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:05 PM
  • 201 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Have you ever, or could you ever, surrender a child for adoption?

Options:

I have placed a child for adoption.

I haven't ever, but I would be able to place a child for adoption.

I have never placed a child for adoption, and I never could.

Other... Because there's no black or white, only shades of grey (answer below)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 169

View Results

So, the teenage pregnancy thing got me thinking about this, with so many moms responding that the child should be given away. I just wonder if the ones saying "adoption" so easily, could place one of their kids? I know, I know; You never ever had unprotected sex before you were married and TTC so it doesn't even apply to you. It's hypothetical, people.

Also, how many -have- placed a child for adoption? I only know one person who has done this; A 30 y/o single mother of two when she became pregnant by a man who wanted no part. She had an open-adoption. She has my utmost respect for being able to bless that family with a beautiful little boy, but I don't think I could bear to let go of a baby, unless there were -very- extreme circumstances (like, my husband and I both had ten year prison sentences).

Please be honest in answering the poll!


*Edit to be more PC

CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:10 PM
7 moms liked this
If the other option was abortion I would choose that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Quatrekins
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:14 PM

The situation that this is a spin-off of was that the girl didn't tell her mom until 6 months; Too late for an abortion. Her mom was pressuring her for adoption, and the moms in the replies were agreeing that the daughter was being unreasonable and adoption was the best choice. I wanted to find out, when faced with the decision to keep a baby or giving them up for adoption, what would those women decide? Abortion aside- Let's pretend you were totally unaware (and/or half-stupid, lol) and didn't notice you were pregnant until six months.

Quoting owl0210:

If the other option was abortion I would choose that.


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Homeschoolmom99
by Barb on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:15 PM

I said other since my ex took our daughter when she was four and she is now 17. I have no clue where they live he had a better attorney then I did. Bottom line is my exes new wife could not have kids and wanted mine. I fought him since she was a year old then lost.

It was very hard IDK if I could do it by choice

GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:15 PM
2 moms liked this

Nope I would never give a child up for adoption. I'm not going through a whole pregnancy just to hand my kid to someone else and furthermore I don't like the rhetoric some agencies use nor do I trust families to do what they agreed to before the adoption and they can't be legally held to the agreements they made to get the child.

Quatrekins
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:17 PM

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and your daughter :( That must have been unbearable.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

I said other since my ex took our daughter when she was four and she is now 17. I have no clue where they live he had a better attorney then I did. Bottom line is my exes new wife could not have kids and wanted mine. I fought him since she was a year old then lost.

It was very hard IDK if I could do it by choice


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ambertreas76
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:18 PM

I couldn't do it.  No way!  I would figure life out with a baby.  There is no way that I could bring a baby into the world and give the baby up.  Then again, I have been blessed with circumstances that provide for my children.  Maybe it would be different if I was poor but I don't feel it would be.

Firenygirl180
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:18 PM

If I knew there was no way I'd be able to take care of the child I would put it up for adoption.  Of course I would look to my extended family first to see if any of them could take the baby for me.  

I have a friend who wouldn't consider adoption when she got pregnant at 18.  She just gave her son up 1 month before his second birthday because she felt she couldn't give him everything he needed and she knew she needed to get her life in order.

Homeschoolmom99
by Barb on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:18 PM

Next year I plan to write letters and let her know through the city of LA if she wants to find me where I am

Quoting Quatrekins:

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and your daughter :( That must have been unbearable.

Quoting Homeschoolmom99:

I said other since my ex took our daughter when she was four and she is now 17. I have no clue where they live he had a better attorney then I did. Bottom line is my exes new wife could not have kids and wanted mine. I fought him since she was a year old then lost.

It was very hard IDK if I could do it by choice



Quatrekins
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Those are some good points to make. That's the main reason why I have never given up any of my pets, no matter how hard it got. I just didn't trust that they would be in good hands once they were out of my sight. *And I know, pets are not the same as children. But they are pretty damn close to me*

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

Nope I would never give a child up for adoption. I'm not going through a whole pregnancy just to hand my kid to someone else and furthermore I don't like the rhetoric some agencies use nor do I trust families to do what they agreed to before the adoption and they can't be legally held to the agreements they made to get the child.


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AdellesMom
by on Oct. 27, 2012 at 7:19 PM

I gave my son up for adoption. My aunt adopted him, and she raised him until she fell ill. Then, I got my son back.

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