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This is what happens when you equate porn with perversion

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Long story short, a 17yo girl was caught looking at porn, which is totally normal, and her parents freaked and assumed she was a defective perv, so she made up a story to explain her perversion and said she was molested by a neighbor kid when she was little, and the innocent guy spent years in prison for child molestation.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/22/johnathan-montgomery_n_2175208.html

by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
AlekD
by Gold Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:07 PM
You have obviously made up your mind but like I said the research is out there if you are ever interested in learning about it.

Quoting mcr17:

So watching people having sex is harmful? Right.....



Quoting AlekD:

That is demonstrably false, sorry. For information I suggest the TEDTalk called "the demise of guys" that will point you in the direction of more information if you are interested in the actual science behind why porn is harmful to individuals and society.





Quoting mcr17:

Porn is harmless. Porn with consenting adults in it anyways







Quoting AlekD:

I agree that what they did was obviously wrong but disagree that porn is totally normal. Perhaps "normal" as defined as "everyone does it" but not normal as defined as healthy and harmless.
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CDMelty
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 8:51 PM


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Why all the blame on the parents?


She lied about being abused to explain her natural curiosity about sex to her parents. Why couldn't she just fess up and say "I wanted to see what all the fuss was about"? Why did she have to explain a perversion that wasn't there? When they caught her looking at porn, why was it something she needed a trauma to explain? That's why I blame the parents. Yes she lied, but why did she have to defend her actions at all?

CDMelty
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:01 PM

Exposure to sex, especially porn, is harmful to children. But a 17yo is not a child. And the harm that porn does to children isn't all that relevant with older teens. Older teens have their own natural sexual interests and are MUCH less likely to have their views formed by porn. They can be infulenced by it, sure, the same way they can be infulenced by rap lyrics, Victoria's Secret catalogs, and television. But watching porn (or being molested, or just seeing sex at all) is harmful to children because it forms their views of sex.  Forms vs infulences. You see a 3way at age 9, you think that's a common and expected sex act, that 3ways are intimacy and are what grown-ups do. You see a 3way at 17, you're capable of forming your own opinion, of thinking "Fine, that's out there and people do it, but it doesn't appeal to me." Puberty, hormones, interest in physical and romantic relationships are going to tell you what you want to personally engage in more than porn will. But if porn is your first sexual thought, it will do more than just expose you to a sex scene.

Quoting rfhsure:

 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.


LavenderMom23
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this

looking at porn is not normal, in fact only someone of this century would even suggest that it is. Have you met porn addicts? Did you know that some porn features actors/actress that are now dead? Porn destroys lives. Now the parents freaking out was wrong too. They definitely could have handled it much better. Isn't this a parenting error, not a porn is okay problem?

mlg1989
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:11 PM
This. Exactly.


Quoting AlekD:

Right? I'm pretty sure what actually happens when you equate porn with perversion is you get a kid who isn't allowed unsupervised access to the Internet until they move out. STOP THE PRESSES!!



This is what happens when you have a lying problem.




Quoting SuperChicken:

Ummmm, that's sounds more like what happens when you are a liar.    To say this issue is her parents problem with porn is disingenuous.


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CDMelty
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I've met alcoholics. That doesn't mean beer is abnormal.  And I know plenty of dead lawyers, too. I still don't see the connection. Porn is fine.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

looking at porn is not normal, in fact only someone of this century would even suggest that it is. Have you met porn addicts? Did you know that some porn features actors/actress that are now dead? Porn destroys lives. Now the parents freaking out was wrong too. They definitely could have handled it much better. Isn't this a parenting error, not a porn is okay problem?


FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:29 PM


Quoting CDMelty:


Quoting FromAtoZ:

Why all the blame on the parents?


She lied about being abused to explain her natural curiosity about sex to her parents. Why couldn't she just fess up and say "I wanted to see what all the fuss was about"? Why did she have to explain a perversion that wasn't there? When they caught her looking at porn, why was it something she needed a trauma to explain? That's why I blame the parents. Yes she lied, but why did she have to defend her actions at all?

All the blame goes on to the parents for the words and actions that came from a 17 year old?  Hmmm, so much for personal responsible.

Regardless of her parent's reaction to the girl checking out porn, she carried such a huge lie to a level that would have me concerned about her.  

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." ~ Maya Angelou

ms-superwoman
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:38 PM
2 moms liked this

Seriously? Alcohol is normal, there are plenty of addicts. Shopping is normal, there are plenty of addicts. Eating is normal, there are plenty of addicts. Video games are normal, there are plenty of addicts. Actors in comedies die, as well as thrillers, and dramas. Lawyers, doctors, teachers die every day, doesn't mean their profession isn't normal... I could really go on forever but I think you get the point.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

looking at porn is not normal, in fact only someone of this century would even suggest that it is. Have you met porn addicts? Did you know that some porn features actors/actress that are now dead? Porn destroys lives. Now the parents freaking out was wrong too. They definitely could have handled it much better. Isn't this a parenting error, not a porn is okay problem?


ms-superwoman
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 9:42 PM

I want to know what her parents would have done to her (or what she thought they would have done) that would make her feel like she needed to lie. I am glad that she came forward about her lie so this guy could go home. I am also glad that she is being charged for her lie.

lga1965
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:00 PM

 SHe was terrible to make up a story that was a damaging lie and ruined an innocent young man's life.

But I do not understand what that has to do with your opinion that Porn is good and not perversion. Porn is not a normal thing for a girl to watch. Hell, its not normal for anyone to watch. It takes sex and and makes it disgusting and exploitive. It destroys the special experience it can be between two people who love each other. It is just two people ( or more) using each other with no concern or caring. Its all mechanical, nothing good. It perverts love.

The fact that this young girl lied about a guy shows she is selfish and has no character or conscience. That's the kind of person who watches porn. Bad judgement, no conscience.

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