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This is what happens when you equate porn with perversion

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Long story short, a 17yo girl was caught looking at porn, which is totally normal, and her parents freaked and assumed she was a defective perv, so she made up a story to explain her perversion and said she was molested by a neighbor kid when she was little, and the innocent guy spent years in prison for child molestation.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/22/johnathan-montgomery_n_2175208.html

by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
Arroree
by Ruby Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:45 PM


Quoting Donna6503:

I've often wonder why people just assume children and kids don't ever lie in these matter.

Where do you get that anyone just assumes that children and kids don't lie about this stuff?? It's just as hard to convict someone on a molestation claim as it is to convict them on a rape claim.  People tend to look at and treat the child just as poorly *as though he/she is a liar and just out to hurt the person* as they do the rape victims. I've seen it happen multiple times.

Arroree
by Ruby Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this

You should take a good comprehensive art history course, you'd be surprised at how prevelant porn was throughout all of history. It's certainly not something new to this century.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

looking at porn is not normal, in fact only someone of this century would even suggest that it is.


Donna6503
by Platinum Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 5:31 AM

I'm sorry Arroree; but, I totally disagree, the benefit of doubt will always go to the "victim." It is a basic stndard at hospitals, police dept's, and governmental agencies everywhere. In fact, it is more common than people think it is; that is, people lie no matter what their status happens to be in life.

Quoting Arroree:


Quoting Donna6503:

I've often wonder why people just assume children and kids don't ever lie in these matter.

Where do you get that anyone just assumes that children and kids don't lie about this stuff?? It's just as hard to convict someone on a molestation claim as it is to convict them on a rape claim.  People tend to look at and treat the child just as poorly *as though he/she is a liar and just out to hurt the person* as they do the rape victims. I've seen it happen multiple times.


Arroree
by Ruby Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 5:33 AM
1 mom liked this

You're free to disagree but in my experience what i've said is true.

Quoting Donna6503:

I'm sorry Arroree; but, I totally disagree, the benefit of doubt will always go to the "victim." It is a basic stndard at hospitals, police dept's, and governmental agencies everywhere. In fact, it is more common than people think it is; that is, people lie no matter what their status happens to be in life.

Quoting Arroree:


Quoting Donna6503:

I've often wonder why people just assume children and kids don't ever lie in these matter.

Where do you get that anyone just assumes that children and kids don't lie about this stuff?? It's just as hard to convict someone on a molestation claim as it is to convict them on a rape claim.  People tend to look at and treat the child just as poorly *as though he/she is a liar and just out to hurt the person* as they do the rape victims. I've seen it happen multiple times.



rfhsure
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:12 PM

 it's not antiquated. Porn was first created to serve men. Women watching porn wasn't even a thought in most pornographers minds until long after porn first appeared. Obviously women watch porn, but the majority of porn is generally catered to men, excluding fetish porn which is all across the board. Generally in porn, if you're watching your average sloppy male/female porn, it's almost always focused on the man getting off. The woman is doing what he wants, and he's the one in control. There's all kinds of disgusting looking men in porn, take the legendary ron jeremy for example. Yet there's a standard for women (again, excluding porn targeted specifically at certain audiences) that is much stricter, which would make sense why they make more. IT doesn't matter if a man in porn is an old fat balding dude, the woman has to be sexy and in her prime. Just because all pornos aren't like that doesnt mean that meanstream porn isnt. I don't see how porn is any more empowering to women than stripping or prostitution. The point of it is to objectify the woman and use her body and sexuality as a tool to pleasure the man she is appearing in the porno with. Mainstream porn is most commonly catered to men. I'm not talking about lesbian porn or solo porn I'm talking about general mainstream shit with a dude and a chick, or more often than not, multiple dudes and a chick, where its really quite amazing they all fit in there at once. and Again, I didn't say all porn was perverted. I'm saying when a child is exposed to it before they have an understanding of sexuality and what it's supposed to be in a normal relationship, it can be damaging to their development of those ideas. my point was about its effect on young children and what kind of ideas about sex they will draw from it. Not from a sexually active adult who's first exposure to porn was after they'd experienced and learned about sex for themselves.

Quoting LauraKW:

Why do you say porn makes women appear subservient to men? I think that is an antiquated notion and part of the reason porn is still viewed as something decadent and perverted. Women in porn are empowered and comfortable with their sexuality. Not to mention they make at least twice as much as men in porn.

Quoting rfhsure:

 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.

 

rfhsure
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2012 at 12:16 PM

 yeah exactly. What I'm saying is if this girl was that ashamed for her parents to catch her watching porn to the point that she would lie about molestation, it makes you wonder what kind of conversations about sex are had in this family. If a 17 year old is that ashamed about sex, arousal, or curiosity about sex, it wouldn't come as a surprise to me that she may live in a household that is not open to the idea, and that her parents might make her feel ashamed about it. So part of me wonders if this particular girl was even sexually active yet and was looking at porn differently than other kids who already are active would. of course there's always the possiblility she may habve been sexually active and used the lie to cover that up to save her ass. Either way I more just think pornography is something where the circumstances of the viewer should be considered. If you're in a healthy sexual relationship you're not likely to interpret it the way someone who has never had one would.

Quoting CDMelty:

Exposure to sex, especially porn, is harmful to children. But a 17yo is not a child. And the harm that porn does to children isn't all that relevant with older teens. Older teens have their own natural sexual interests and are MUCH less likely to have their views formed by porn. They can be infulenced by it, sure, the same way they can be infulenced by rap lyrics, Victoria's Secret catalogs, and television. But watching porn (or being molested, or just seeing sex at all) is harmful to children because it forms their views of sex.  Forms vs infulences. You see a 3way at age 9, you think that's a common and expected sex act, that 3ways are intimacy and are what grown-ups do. You see a 3way at 17, you're capable of forming your own opinion, of thinking "Fine, that's out there and people do it, but it doesn't appeal to me." Puberty, hormones, interest in physical and romantic relationships are going to tell you what you want to personally engage in more than porn will. But if porn is your first sexual thought, it will do more than just expose you to a sex scene.

Quoting rfhsure:

 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.

 

 

LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:27 PM
You're telling me what porn was. I'm telling you what porn is. It is obvious you don't watch porn and don't know what you're talking about. The women are the ones in charge. The women decide who they will work with - if the woman says she will not work with a certain man, he doesn't work, but she does. The women dictate what they will and will not do, not the men. All porn actors and actresses have physical standards - just as with mainstream film and tv. It absolutely does matter what a man in porn looks like. You stated that the purpose of the porn is to use the woman to pleasure the man. No, the purpose of porn is to show people having sex and enjoying what they are doing - everyone involved. The man getting off - the money shot - is basically the finale, not the purpose of the scene itself. Your view is antiquated, from your description of "sloppy porn" to your assumption that the purpose of the sex is solely for the benefit of the man.

Quoting rfhsure:

 it's not antiquated. Porn was first created to serve men. Women watching porn wasn't even a thought in most pornographers minds until long after porn first appeared. Obviously women watch porn, but the majority of porn is generally catered to men, excluding fetish porn which is all across the board. Generally in porn, if you're watching your average sloppy male/female porn, it's almost always focused on the man getting off. The woman is doing what he wants, and he's the one in control. There's all kinds of disgusting looking men in porn, take the legendary ron jeremy for example. Yet there's a standard for women (again, excluding porn targeted specifically at certain audiences) that is much stricter, which would make sense why they make more. IT doesn't matter if a man in porn is an old fat balding dude, the woman has to be sexy and in her prime. Just because all pornos aren't like that doesnt mean that meanstream porn isnt. I don't see how porn is any more empowering to women than stripping or prostitution. The point of it is to objectify the woman and use her body and sexuality as a tool to pleasure the man she is appearing in the porno with. Mainstream porn is most commonly catered to men. I'm not talking about lesbian porn or solo porn I'm talking about general mainstream shit with a dude and a chick, or more often than not, multiple dudes and a chick, where its really quite amazing they all fit in there at once. and Again, I didn't say all porn was perverted. I'm saying when a child is exposed to it before they have an understanding of sexuality and what it's supposed to be in a normal relationship, it can be damaging to their development of those ideas. my point was about its effect on young children and what kind of ideas about sex they will draw from it. Not from a sexually active adult who's first exposure to porn was after they'd experienced and learned about sex for themselves.


Quoting LauraKW:

Why do you say porn makes women appear subservient to men? I think that is an antiquated notion and part of the reason porn is still viewed as something decadent and perverted. Women in porn are empowered and comfortable with their sexuality. Not to mention they make at least twice as much as men in porn.


Quoting rfhsure:


 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.


 

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JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Who says looking at porn is normal?
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LauraKW
by "Dude!" on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:43 PM
Many tv and film actors are now dead. Musicians, artists, authors - dead. I'm not sure what your point is.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

looking at porn is not normal, in fact only someone of this century would even suggest that it is. Have you met porn addicts? Did you know that some porn features actors/actress that are now dead? Porn destroys lives. Now the parents freaking out was wrong too. They definitely could have handled it much better. Isn't this a parenting error, not a porn is okay problem?

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TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 4:33 PM

This is a "stupid person" story that does not support your premise at all.

So she's not only a pervert...she's a liar.  Nice.

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