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This is what happens when you equate porn with perversion

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Long story short, a 17yo girl was caught looking at porn, which is totally normal, and her parents freaked and assumed she was a defective perv, so she made up a story to explain her perversion and said she was molested by a neighbor kid when she was little, and the innocent guy spent years in prison for child molestation.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/22/johnathan-montgomery_n_2175208.html

by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 10:46 AM
Replies (41-50):
dustinsmom1
by JENN on Nov. 24, 2012 at 4:40 PM

 I don't think its normal for a 12 yr old girl to look at porn, Sorry.

Her parents handled it poorly but that's no excuse for the girl did.

CDMelty
by Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 4:54 PM

She was 17, not 12. And I do believe that it's normal for 17yo girls to be curious about sex. And there's a computer right there, linked to an internet full of sex. Of course it's normal for a kid to try to find out about a subject she's curious about.

Quoting dustinsmom1:

 I don't think its normal for a 12 yr old girl to look at porn, Sorry.

Her parents handled it poorly but that's no excuse for the girl did.


LittleBirdFly
by Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 4:57 PM

What does looking at porn at the age of 17 have to do with being molested as a kid? So does that mean anyone who was molested, suddenly later in life has to look at porn? Shes a liar, end of story. Is hse at least in jail now for hat she did?

SunshneDaydream
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 5:00 PM

 Plus, ever heard of a Dominatrix?

Quoting LauraKW:

Why do you say porn makes women appear subservient to men? I think that is an antiquated notion and part of the reason porn is still viewed as something decadent and perverted. Women in porn are empowered and comfortable with their sexuality. Not to mention they make at least twice as much as men in porn.

Quoting rfhsure:

 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.

 

SunshneDaydream
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 5:06 PM

 

Quoting Arroree:

 

Quoting Donna6503:

I've often wonder why people just assume children and kids don't ever lie in these matter.

Where do you get that anyone just assumes that children and kids don't lie about this stuff?? It's just as hard to convict someone on a molestation claim as it is to convict them on a rape claim.  People tend to look at and treat the child just as poorly *as though he/she is a liar and just out to hurt the person* as they do the rape victims. I've seen it happen multiple times.

 Well...from this story for one thing.  She accused someone, and the authorities obviously believed her and threw an innocent man in jail.  Had they been more skeptical of her claim, perhaps they could have done a more thorough investigation and proven his innocence. 

SunshneDaydream
by Silver Member on Nov. 24, 2012 at 5:16 PM

 Wow...if looking at porn as a sexually-curious teenager makes one a pervert, I guess I'm a pervert!

Now I'm not defending the girl here, I never would have lied about being molested, but still...it's 100% normal for teenagers to be curious about sex and look at porn.  Sheesh!  I'm starting to feel sorry for the children of some of these women!

Quoting TranquilMind:

This is a "stupid person" story that does not support your premise at all.

So she's not only a pervert...she's a liar.  Nice.

 

rfhsure
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:46 PM

I'm not talking about the rights of porn workers. I'm aware that women can choose who they work with. I'm talking about what porn depicts and the 'fantasy' it generally creates. If you're flipping through a tv guide and hit the porn channels, it's all 'hot wet sluts' this and 'underage coeds' that. It's never a title about a man pleasing a woman or about women's pleasure. A woman might get off in a scene, but in the majority of cases that's not the focus of the porn. Just because a woman can choose her work environment and the way things are run on set doesn't mean that pornography caters primarily to women or has an overall interest in womens physical needs for those watching. I realize there are a few out there that are different, but it doesn't change that the majorative demographic of porn is adult males, or that porn can create a distorted view of sexuality for someone watching it who doesn't have an understanding of normal sex.

Quoting LauraKW:

You're telling me what porn was. I'm telling you what porn is. It is obvious you don't watch porn and don't know what you're talking about. The women are the ones in charge. The women decide who they will work with - if the woman says she will not work with a certain man, he doesn't work, but she does. The women dictate what they will and will not do, not the men. All porn actors and actresses have physical standards - just as with mainstream film and tv. It absolutely does matter what a man in porn looks like. You stated that the purpose of the porn is to use the woman to pleasure the man. No, the purpose of porn is to show people having sex and enjoying what they are doing - everyone involved. The man getting off - the money shot - is basically the finale, not the purpose of the scene itself. Your view is antiquated, from your description of "sloppy porn" to your assumption that the purpose of the sex is solely for the benefit of the man.

Quoting rfhsure:

 it's not antiquated. Porn was first created to serve men. Women watching porn wasn't even a thought in most pornographers minds until long after porn first appeared. Obviously women watch porn, but the majority of porn is generally catered to men, excluding fetish porn which is all across the board. Generally in porn, if you're watching your average sloppy male/female porn, it's almost always focused on the man getting off. The woman is doing what he wants, and he's the one in control. There's all kinds of disgusting looking men in porn, take the legendary ron jeremy for example. Yet there's a standard for women (again, excluding porn targeted specifically at certain audiences) that is much stricter, which would make sense why they make more. IT doesn't matter if a man in porn is an old fat balding dude, the woman has to be sexy and in her prime. Just because all pornos aren't like that doesnt mean that meanstream porn isnt. I don't see how porn is any more empowering to women than stripping or prostitution. The point of it is to objectify the woman and use her body and sexuality as a tool to pleasure the man she is appearing in the porno with. Mainstream porn is most commonly catered to men. I'm not talking about lesbian porn or solo porn I'm talking about general mainstream shit with a dude and a chick, or more often than not, multiple dudes and a chick, where its really quite amazing they all fit in there at once. and Again, I didn't say all porn was perverted. I'm saying when a child is exposed to it before they have an understanding of sexuality and what it's supposed to be in a normal relationship, it can be damaging to their development of those ideas. my point was about its effect on young children and what kind of ideas about sex they will draw from it. Not from a sexually active adult who's first exposure to porn was after they'd experienced and learned about sex for themselves.


Quoting LauraKW:

Why do you say porn makes women appear subservient to men? I think that is an antiquated notion and part of the reason porn is still viewed as something decadent and perverted. Women in porn are empowered and comfortable with their sexuality. Not to mention they make at least twice as much as men in porn.


Quoting rfhsure:


 yeah, her parents aren't the smartest, but that girl I mean cmon. that's messed up that she would do that. I think that it's normal to look at porn, sure, but it doesnt make porn a normal depiction of sex, expecially not to someone who doesn't fully understand sex yet. I knew someone who lived in a tiny trailer with his mom growing up and had to see them do it all the time. he was exposed to pornography when he was very young (don't ask me wh or for all the details, this is the simple version) and uiltimately ended molesting his cousin at 11 years old and had to go to counseling for years following. He has turned out to be an okay guy, he's really nice and he certainly doesn't do anything like he did then. but he also has serious intimacy and bonding issues and has a couple things he's into sexually that a lot of people might get uncomfortable with. Is it solely because he was exposed to porn? No, his home life growing up wasn't great. But there's no doubt in my mind that his early exposure to sex and pornography played a big role in his skewed understanding of what is acceptable sexually. A 17 year old girl I'm sure can handle herself a little better than a 5 year old, but bottom line is if you haven't been educated about sex, and you don't have a clear understanding of what's normal in sex and what isn't, then porn can actually be very destructive to your sexual development. Porn degrades women atrociously, it teaches unsafe sex practices, it makes things like much older man having sex with 'underage' girls look sexy and fun, it glorifies the idea that women should be in total servitude to men in a sexual situation and that it's about the man's pleasure. just not a good thing for someone really young to exposed to. if it's your cup of tea, sip it, that's not my problem. But imagine if this girl were a virgin, and her parents, who sound rather protective in the topic of sexuality, haven't given her the rundown yet. Pornography might be a lot more damaging than you'd think.


 


moneysaver6
by Gold Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:54 PM
1 mom liked this

WHAT?!?  No...that's what happens when parents are sick and lie about another child doing something that he didn't do.

Porn IS perversion!

nickysmom71
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:59 PM

Just because you're not into porn and probably doesn't want a partner to be into it either doesn't make it wrong just because you say so.

Sorry to burst your bubble there cupcake. 

Quoting AlekD:

I agree that what they did was obviously wrong but disagree that porn is totally normal. Perhaps "normal" as defined as "everyone does it" but not normal as defined as healthy and harmless.


nickysmom71
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:59 PM

What a fucked up thing to happen....

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