Is Chivalry Dead?

[candlegal]

Something I read this morning is making me ask this question.

[Claire-Huxtable]

And the exact reason why you don't see it as often is given on this thread. But no, it is not completely dead. My husband and son open doors, allow women to go first, give up their seat to a woman if there are no more etc.

Quoting owl0210:

Yes it is dead. I'm all for strong independent women but some men don't want to open doors, pay for dates and court women anymore.

[ms.sophsmom]

Im my experience it's swiftly dying. Most men I talk to are very confused about what chivalry means. The guys who brag about being a gentlemen are some of the rudest beings i have ever met. I was raised with a confusing message, that i dont agree with. Message being: you are a strong woman, but use ur man for everything he is worth. No. I am very independant, very strong. I refuse to ask for help so i dnt look like the whiny bitch who wants a man to do it all. In my mind chivalry is watching over the lady u care for and simply offering your help, being thoughtful, and showing her she is special. And that doesnt mean tht women are exempt from treating men well...

[Claire-Huxtable]

the basis of chilvary came from these rules of Eleanor of Aquitaine's court

The following set of rules is based on the De Amore of Andreas Capellanus, as adapted in Appendix 1 of Ann S. Haskell's A Middle English Anthology (Detroit: Wayne State UP, 1985). To find out more about Andreas Capellanus, click here.

1. Marriage should not be a deterrent to love.

2. Love cannot exist in the individual who cannot be jealous.

3. A double love cannot obligate an individual.

4. Love constantly waxes and wanes.

5. That which is not given freely by the object of one's love loses its savor.

6. It is necessary for a male to reach the age of maturity in order to love.

7. A lover must observe a two-year widowhood after his beloved's death.

8. Only the most urgent circumstances should deprive one of love.

9. Only the insistence of love can motivate one to love.

10. Love cannot coexist with avarice.

11. A lover should not love anyone who would be an embarrassing marriage choice.

12. True love excludes all from its embrace but the beloved.

13. Public revelation of love is deadly to love in most instances.

14. The value of love is commensurate with its difficulty of attainment.

15. The presence of one's beloved causes palpitation of the heart.

16. The sight of one's beloved causes palpitations of the heart.

17. A new love brings an old one to a finish.

18. Good character is the one real requirement for worthiness of love.

19. When love grows faint its demise is usually certain.

20. Apprehension is the constant companion of true love.

21. Love is reinforced by jealousy.

22. Suspicion of the beloved generates jealousy and therefore intensifies love.

23. Eating and sleeping diminish greatly when one is aggravated by love.

24. The lover's every deed is performed with the thought of his beloved in mind.

25. Unless it please his beloved, no act or thought is worthy to the lover.

26. Love is powerless to hold anything from love.

27. There is no such thing as too much of the pleasure of one's beloved.

28. Presumption on the part of the beloved causes suspicion in the lover.

29. Aggravation of excessive passion does not usually afflict the true lover.

30. Thought of the beloved never leaves the true lover.

31. Two men may love one woman or two women one man.

[Veni.Vidi.Vici.]

I don't think it's dead, so it isn't making a comeback. Still, I voted for the first one.

[momtoscott]

 Don't think it's dead, but I dislike the gender-specific aspects of "chivalry," and I wouldn't teach it to my son under that name.   Good manners and respect should be taught to both sexes.  Some customs, like the man walking on the street side of a sidewalk, deserve to be retired.  I also think that applies to the man paying for the woman on a date. 

I appreciate a thank you when I hold the door for the person behind me, male or female, and I say thank you when someone does something thoughtful for me.   

[greenie63]

Common courtesy shouldn't be gender specific. 

[parentalrights1]

Well depending on what you mean by chivalry I think that the whole "open the door and give up your seat for women" thing was more important when women were treated like second class citizens where their husbands were allowed to hit them and they weren't allowed to work or vote.

I don't think women have fully achieved fair and equal treatment yet, but enough that it is okay for a man to keep his seat if he was there first and everyone should hold a door for everyone out of common courtesy. I think if a woman is pregnant or disabled then yeah a little special treatment is fine, but generally women aren't less capable than men

[Sisteract]

Nope

[Sisteract]

UM, parents should be teaching those elements-

Most that I associate with have done just that.

Quoting candlegal:

There was an article in my local Catholic newspaper that some Catholic schools are trying to bring it back based on young men respecting young women.  Still treating them as equals but also respecting them.

[lga1965]

 

Quoting mikiemom:

where is the option where it is outdated. I think chivalry is an excuse to treat women as if they are the lesser being.

 I personally appreciate a show of manners and chivalry ,,,,it never makes me feel that I am a "lesser being". I think both sexes need to be more appropriate and practice good manners ....women can be 'chivalrous' ,mannerly and feminine,too.

I see too much inappropriate and crude language and agressive,hostile,self-centered attitudes now days.Does it come from people being angry and disappointed in life and other people? I wonder what it is.