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What keeps men from proposing marriage to the mothers of their children? *EDIT*

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:31 PM
  • 197 Replies

If you don't care about marriage fine, this isn't about you.

I am speaking about situations in which the women would like to be married.  Why do men feel it is acceptable to live year after year with these women who have given them a child, expecting them to fulfill wifely duties, but never propose?

How many years is enough time to wait before the woman has a right to get angry?

These are just hypothetical questions.

ETA:

For those suggesting that she propose to him:

The whole point is that the man doesn't want to get married, so it doesn't matter if the woman proposes or not.  Imagine she did and he said no.


by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:35 PM
4 moms liked this

ask a MAN

depends

Peanutx3
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:36 PM
3 moms liked this

If she wants to get married so badly why doesn't she propose to him?

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:38 PM


Quoting Peanutx3:

If she wants to get married so badly why doesn't she propose to him?

Since this is hypothetical and the point is about men who do not want to marry, let's say "she" did propose and he turned her down.

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Good question. I mean that sincerely. I'm curious.

I'll ask my husband this evening when he calls (business trip - out of town). He has friends in this situation I think.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














wissotamum
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:40 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it sometimes has to do with their childhood - bad marriages and ugly divorces (not understanding that breakups are ugly when kids are involved whether there's a marriage certificate or not).

Also, a desire to keep finances legally separate. If she's going to school, she can get more aide if she's single.  Or if he has child support from a previous relationship, it makes sense for her to not mingle their finances.

Sometimes, it just makes financial sense to stay legally single.

morethanamemory
by New Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:40 PM
6 moms liked this
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??

*edit*
Figured I would put this before this statement offends anyone what I mean by this is why would she stay if she wants to get married but he won't and why would he want to make such a commitment if he can get most of the perks without actually marrying her.

This doesn't count for the ppl who legit it works out better for like moms in school or people who are seperated and waiting on a divorce or people who think with a parent oweing child support or some kind of fine or large debt that it is better to not combine what they make.
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Peanutx3
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:40 PM
6 moms liked this


Quoting futureshock:


Quoting Peanutx3:

If she wants to get married so badly why doesn't she propose to him?

Since this is hypothetical and the point is about men who do not want to marry, let's say "she" did propose and he turned her down.

If I was in a relationship where he didn't ever want to get married and I did I would end the relationship and move on.

jynkx
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:42 PM

this would be a btter question on "cafedad", if there was one....lol.

rebeccasmommy09
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:42 PM
3 moms liked this
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
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Sisteract
by Whoopie on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:42 PM
5 moms liked this

Are these women unhappy with the arrangement?

If so, why do they stay, fulfilling wifely duties, bearing children, while they get nothing in return?

2 way street-

Pick a better quality man (or woman).

OP, are you doing research on this subject? Planning to write a book or teach a class?


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