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What keeps men from proposing marriage to the mothers of their children? *EDIT*

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If you don't care about marriage fine, this isn't about you.

I am speaking about situations in which the women would like to be married.  Why do men feel it is acceptable to live year after year with these women who have given them a child, expecting them to fulfill wifely duties, but never propose?

How many years is enough time to wait before the woman has a right to get angry?

These are just hypothetical questions.

ETA:

For those suggesting that she propose to him:

The whole point is that the man doesn't want to get married, so it doesn't matter if the woman proposes or not.  Imagine she did and he said no.


by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 6:31 PM
Replies (31-40):
Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:31 PM
3 moms liked this
Also... If a woman wants to be married so bad discuss it when you are dating. If he doesn't want to get married then move on.
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FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:32 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Why do people HAVE to be married?

Because otherwise, society will grumble and all families are doomed! 

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." ~ Maya Angelou

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this
HAHAHA!!!

Maybe we should go back to caveman days and just let our men drag us by the hair and yell UGG! Ta-Da! Marriage!
Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Why do people HAVE to be married?



Because otherwise, society will grumble and all families are doomed! 

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kidlover2
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:37 PM
Exactly. I have 3 children from my previous marriage and share them with my SO. I am committed to him and him to me. When my ex-husband left me, he also left me with his debt and my credit card. I ended up paying for the divorce by myself and got nothing but a headache and a whole $86 a week in child support. None of it was worth the ceremony where my mother and his mother almost killed each other... now THAT might have been worth it ;-)

Quoting i.m.r.:

My friend's mom is actually of the same mind set. She has been with her current so for about 5-8 years and has made it clear to him that she has no desire to get married. They don't share children because they started dating later in their lives and to her it's just not important to be married. At first he had a problem with it, but after a couple of years I think he realized their relationship was fine without being married and she was committed to him no matter what.



Quoting kidlover2:

This exactly. Speaking as a woman, I have no desire to be married. Marriage holds no safety for me and brings about negative connotations. My SO understands and at this point, he is not pushing it because legally it doesn't benefit him anyways. I won't say never, but there would have to be an amazing reason to get married that included taxes and healthcare.





Quoting wissotamum:

I think it sometimes has to do with their childhood - bad marriages and ugly divorces (not understanding that breakups are ugly when kids are involved whether there's a marriage certificate or not).

Also, a desire to keep finances legally separate. If she's going to school, she can get more aide if she's single.  Or if he has child support from a previous relationship, it makes sense for her to not mingle their finances.

Sometimes, it just makes financial sense to stay legally single.

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tooptimistic
by Kelly on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM

I was going to say that!!  :)

If you want to get married maybe you shouldn't be giving out free milk.  ;)

Quoting morethanamemory:

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??

*edit*
Figured I would put this before this statement offends anyone what I mean by this is why would she stay if she wants to get married but he won't and why would he want to make such a commitment if he can get most of the perks without actually marrying her.

This doesn't count for the ppl who legit it works out better for like moms in school or people who are seperated and waiting on a divorce or people who think with a parent oweing child support or some kind of fine or large debt that it is better to not combine what they make.


flowerfunleah
by Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:38 PM

Why should they have to buy the whole cow when they already get the milk for free?

mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM

I think sometimes women delude themselves into thinking he'll change his mind if she sticks around long enough. Not all though. I've been in that situation. It takes personal growth and a good dose of wisdom and common sense to realize you aren't going to get what you want and buck it up and just move on. Fear keeps a lot of women trapped as well. I cannot tell you how many women I know who think they are "nothing" if they don't have a "man" at their sides. It's pure delusion. Gotta get over the fear of being alone. 

That's all I've got. Chalk it up to personal insecurities. 

GotSomeKids
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it depends on the man.

What I would ask is, if it matters so much to a woman, why didn't she get married before she had said baby.

mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM
3 moms liked this

And can we stop comparing human women to cows? We're not cows. We're flawed human beings. 

GoddessNDaRuff
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:43 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Why do people HAVE to be married?

Because not being married is the source of the decline of society and moral decay. Nations start to fell economically, schools become underfunded leading to less educated individuals, wars break out and all because stupid women refuse to hold an aspirin between their knees until their wedding nights.


~sarcasm~

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