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Feeding the neighor kids (PIOG)

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Do you feed the neighbor kids? 

We have new neighbors, our kids ( age 5 and 2.5) are friends with their kids (ages 4,6, and 10).

They typically play in the yards, and sometimes our house.  When they are in our house they always ask for food.  even when they are just in our yard - they'll open the screen door and ask for food. They ask for the fruit we have on the counter.

When they are in our house I'll typically feed them, outside, eh.  It aggrevates my DH to no end b/c "we didn't do that as kids"  I agree with him, but I don't care that much though. I don't give snacks to my kids unless I'd give to the friends too,  but it's not my kids asking, it's the friends.

I don't think they are poor as they just bought a house, a trampoline, drive a nice car, etc. . . .  But the kids always say they don't have fruit at their house. 

Do you feed your kids'friends?  or tell them to go home and eat (they live right next door BTW).

Today they've been outside, a rare 60 degrees in Dec in WI.  From the 3 kids we've been asked 5 times.

CafeMom Tickers

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Replies (41-50):
mama3814
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:02 AM

I wouldn't have an issue with sharing, but if the food is being wasted, I would limit how often they can ask. I do that with my own children. If they ask for something, they should finish it.

glitterteaz
by Ruby Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:08 AM

sounds like the neighbors are spending ash on toys. I would give a small snak maybe talk to their parents


SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 My son is 10 and he has friends. This summer they descended. Watermelon and they asked if I had the Chili. Suprised the heck out of them when I did. I did Mexican corn for the boys only I didn't roast it,,I boiled it but they had the butter, mayo,sourcream, cheese,chili and lime to do on it. I have tortillas. They got quesidillas. I normally had fruit. Fruit is cheaper than any snack of chips when this boys in the growing stage can inhale food. The hoardes descended. I share. I think the kids that  the OP are talking about are rude. Perhaps they don't know any better. Kids at my house don't ask for anything,,,,they put my son up to it. LOL. Food is essential. If you are lucky enough to have it,,,,,,,Share.

LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I always fed whoever was around: I wanted to be the 'neighbourhood house' and I know no better way of helping children feel welcome.

queenanne
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:54 AM

 ohhhh....no way, man. If they waste the food, that's a different story.

What I would do in the apple situation is cut one apple into slices and set a bowl out for them to share. I might even put what they don't finish in a zip-loc and give it to them the next day. (I would cut off the brown stuff. lol)

and the opening the doors thing...no go! The first time it happened, I would nicely tell them that it's not good manners to open doors at someone else's house. After that, I would get after them the same way I would get after my own kids when they do what they're told not to. 

Quoting JCB911:

I tend to give them the fruit, b/c I'm a push over - however, the last few times two of them had apples, they had just a few bites each and set them on the table, came over the next day and did it again - NO, if you ask then you darn well eat it!.   It irritates me b/c it's everytime they are here, and they keep asking.  I've taught my kids not to do that.  If I thought they were hard-up that'd be fine, but I can't imagine they are. I don't think it's a matter of being hungry, I think they see it and want it.

I don't mind sharing, but at the same time it's rude.  I've already scolded them about opening our doors.  it's not their house, don't open our doors!

 

queenanne
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:59 AM

 I can totally understand if someone is on a very tight food budget that it may cause a hardship to feed other kids.

One of my single-mom friends is in that situation. She has a really good job and makes too much to qualify for food stamps. However, what she makes barely covers expenses. She buys food carefully, using menus and usually buys just enough to get through til the next payday.

When my kid spent time at her house, I would send a bag full of snacks. If she spent the night there, I would often grab a take-n-bake pizza and drop it off with my kid. It was easy for me to do and it really allowed her to be able to have her daughter's friends spend the night...just like any other kid.

JMmama
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Talk to their parents.

Just for an alternative perspective, my kids will ask for fruit just because they see it. We have fruit in the house and they eat it but something about eating in someone else's home is a novelty. I don't know. They don't go to people's homes by themselves much but when they do I go over asking for food manners. It can be kind of embarrassing and my friends and I joke that I don't feed mine at home I just wait until Playgroup. At any rate, if it was my kids, I would want to know (especially if they were being wasteful) and I would probably thank you for your generosity and tell you to just say no to snacks or to send them home.
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wickedfiress
by Kellie on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:24 AM

No, and it aggravates me when others do that for my kids, and they end up not eating dinner because they are full from snacking at the neighbor's house. 


AMBG825
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 4:57 AM

Usually it is my kids sending their friends in to ask because they know I'm more likely to agree if it's not them asking. 

romalove
by Roma on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:16 AM

I can't imagine turning down a child's request for something to eat.  I have always been the parent who told my kid's friends that they were always welcome at my house and could share what we had.  Once, one of my daughter's friends told another one of her friends that she was coming over and the other girl couldn't come.  That girl said to her "Roma says I am always welcome and I can come if I want to!"

Having said that, if this is an economic issue or an issue where you are concerned that the parents aren't providing something you think the kids really need/want, and since they are new, I might buy some apples and bananas and bring them over as a welcome gift and tell the mom "I know your kids love fruit, they are always asking me for some" and see what she says.

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