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Feeding the neighor kids (PIOG)

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Do you feed the neighbor kids? 

We have new neighbors, our kids ( age 5 and 2.5) are friends with their kids (ages 4,6, and 10).

They typically play in the yards, and sometimes our house.  When they are in our house they always ask for food.  even when they are just in our yard - they'll open the screen door and ask for food. They ask for the fruit we have on the counter.

When they are in our house I'll typically feed them, outside, eh.  It aggrevates my DH to no end b/c "we didn't do that as kids"  I agree with him, but I don't care that much though. I don't give snacks to my kids unless I'd give to the friends too,  but it's not my kids asking, it's the friends.

I don't think they are poor as they just bought a house, a trampoline, drive a nice car, etc. . . .  But the kids always say they don't have fruit at their house. 

Do you feed your kids'friends?  or tell them to go home and eat (they live right next door BTW).

Today they've been outside, a rare 60 degrees in Dec in WI.  From the 3 kids we've been asked 5 times.

CafeMom Tickers

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Replies (51-60):
andiemomo3
by Andie on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Me too!  If you're the neighborhood Ouse you get to see where your kids are and what they are doing!  I also love hearing all the play oises!

Quoting LindaClement:

I always fed whoever was around: I wanted to be the 'neighbourhood house' and I know no better way of helping children feel welcome.


candlegal
by Judy on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:46 AM

You know, that is pretty rude.   In a situation like there, there is usually many different things that could be going on that you don't have a clue about.

Quoting Bonita131:


Quoting mehamil1:

Have you talked to their parents about it? Sometimes kids don't know what they are doing is considered rude unless they are told it's rude and to not do it. 

If my son has a friend over (I can only handle one kid at a time) I will of course feed them. No question about it. But my son rarely has friends over. Our next door neighbors do not have children my son's age. If I were in your situation I would most definitely tell them to go home if they are hungry. There is no way I'd be supplying food to all these children every single day. Unless I KNEW the family was on hard times and were struggling I would have no problem with it. But it just sounds like they have a case of the "see it and grab it" and don't yet know common courtesy. 

Talk to the parents, tell them what is going on. I know it would probably awkward but still, your house isn't a grocery store. 

Hard to believe you're a parent of a child with such a nasty uncaring response. No maybe their mother hates fruit so she doesn't buy fruit, no maybe their mother doesn't know how to cook so here kids don't eat much of her cooking, no wondering why the kids are always asking for food,  no nothing from you but you saying you'd tell them to go home if they're hungry. 
How does it feel being bitch of the year?


candlegal
by Judy on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:49 AM

wow

Quoting UpSheRises:


Quoting Bonita131:


Quoting mehamil1:

Have you talked to their parents about it? Sometimes kids don't know what they are doing is considered rude unless they are told it's rude and to not do it. 

If my son has a friend over (I can only handle one kid at a time) I will of course feed them. No question about it. But my son rarely has friends over. Our next door neighbors do not have children my son's age. If I were in your situation I would most definitely tell them to go home if they are hungry. There is no way I'd be supplying food to all these children every single day. Unless I KNEW the family was on hard times and were struggling I would have no problem with it. But it just sounds like they have a case of the "see it and grab it" and don't yet know common courtesy. 

Talk to the parents, tell them what is going on. I know it would probably awkward but still, your house isn't a grocery store. 

Hard to believe you're a parent of a child with such a nasty uncaring response. No maybe their mother hates fruit so she doesn't buy fruit, no maybe their mother doesn't know how to cook so here kids don't eat much of her cooking, no wondering why the kids are always asking for food,  no nothing from you but you saying you'd tell them to go home if they're hungry. 
How does it feel being bitch of the year?

Eat a fat dick.


TCgirlatheart
by TC on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:25 AM
If there are other kids here at snack or meal time I would feed them, but make them ask their parents first. If I knew the family well, I would think we would have already worked this out.
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Princess_s21
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:30 AM

 Yeah kids absolutely have no shame with stuff like this unless someone points out to them that they shouldnt be begging the neighbours for food, the Mother would probably be mortified if she knew, then again maybe not some parents have no shame either lol......but no I am usually not in the habit with giving other children food unless they ask their parents first, I dont know what they are allowed to eat or allergies etc, sometimes my nieces would be over and play with our neighbours id offer snacks but always check first if it was ok.

silver007
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:42 AM

The OP is dealing with THREE neighbor kids asking for food 5 times in one day alone (as an example of her day today).

Are you  OK with being "generous" with 3 well-to-do neighbor kids  and feeding them 5 snacks a day? That's 15 handfuls of grapes, or a 2 packs of hot dogs...a day.

I know I couldn't afford to feed fresh fruit daily to 3 extra kids just for the hey of it, it not to mention acommodate whining and bad manners (since they wasted the apples she gave them yesterday)

Maybe offer them one group snack during a play day but after that and would start telling the kids to go home for snacks. And since they are opening doors in my house - no indoor play

It is unfortunate when suburban (or any) kids go feral because of uninvolved Moms and lack of socialization by their parents in their homes. But it is OK to admit when you do not have the skills or resources to raise OPK in lieu of what they lack at home 

Quoting UpSheRises:

We have a neighbor kid who is over all the time. He's invited to share our meal/snack, go home a get something and bring it back, just go home, or just sit at the table with us.

There are only 3 of us and our budget is tight but not so tight that we can't spare a handful of grapes or a hot dog. I think we all fare better if we're generous to each other, children included.


ChancesMommy07
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I feed pretty much everyone who comes to my house, kids or adults. 

GLWerth
by Gina on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm constantly feeding extra kids. During the summer especially, when they're all around all day.

We go through an enormous amount of popcorn, as that is the current favorite snack of kids and their friends.

When there is no school, I feed lunch to whoever is there.

Sometimes it bugs me, but mostly, I am fine with it.

romalove
by Roma on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:00 AM


Quoting GLWerth:

I'm constantly feeding extra kids. During the summer especially, when they're all around all day.

We go through an enormous amount of popcorn, as that is the current favorite snack of kids and their friends.

When there is no school, I feed lunch to whoever is there.

Sometimes it bugs me, but mostly, I am fine with it.

I was always the stay at home mom in the area, and most of my friends with kids worked.  I worked from home, but that was perceived as "home" lol.  Anyway, if someone needed to be picked up early from school, if it was a single vacation day that the parents were working, or if we had snow, my house was the "go to" house where kids would be dropped off so parents could work and I would take care of the kids.  I sometimes had as many as nine kids here on such days.  They all got fed and cared for.

I didn't really give how much I was feeding everyone a thought.  I was mostly glad everyone was happy and fed and safe.

Yogamom08
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 8:01 AM
I don't have any kids in my neighborhood, but if I did, I wouldn't just feed random kids who were playing in my yard. If they asked me for a snack, I would tell them to get one from home. If they were invited over for a play date, I would feed them a snack at regular snack time. I would also okay the snack with the mom when she dropped the kids off.
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