Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Feeding the neighor kids (PIOG)

Posted by   + Show Post

Do you feed the neighbor kids? 

We have new neighbors, our kids ( age 5 and 2.5) are friends with their kids (ages 4,6, and 10).

They typically play in the yards, and sometimes our house.  When they are in our house they always ask for food.  even when they are just in our yard - they'll open the screen door and ask for food. They ask for the fruit we have on the counter.

When they are in our house I'll typically feed them, outside, eh.  It aggrevates my DH to no end b/c "we didn't do that as kids"  I agree with him, but I don't care that much though. I don't give snacks to my kids unless I'd give to the friends too,  but it's not my kids asking, it's the friends.

I don't think they are poor as they just bought a house, a trampoline, drive a nice car, etc. . . .  But the kids always say they don't have fruit at their house. 

Do you feed your kids'friends?  or tell them to go home and eat (they live right next door BTW).

Today they've been outside, a rare 60 degrees in Dec in WI.  From the 3 kids we've been asked 5 times.

CafeMom Tickers

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Replies (81-90):
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting dustinsmom1:

 my neighbor often brings her kids over in the summer to play and rarely brings them snacks or drinks. I hate it because when my kid wants a snack or drink I feel obligated to feed them as well. it pisses me off because don't always have enough to share.

Start making yourself unavailable for those playdates-or send her kids home at snacktime.

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:11 PM

In the summer, I keep juice boxes, and popsicles on hand because we have a pool and there is usually an extra kid or two here. However, I OFFER them the snacks, they don't ask for them. I think it's rude to ask people for food like that.

There used to be a little girl who lived across the street from us, who would walk over here uninvited, come into the house and ask for food and drinks. She also helped herself to our food a couple of times. I had to put a stop to it. There were also some other things she did that made  me have to basically ban her from coming over here anymore.

by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:14 PM

If kids are at my house, I feed them. But only if they are here at a meal/snack time. If it concerns you, you need to talk to their parents.

by Platinum Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 I usually do feed them.  It often bugs me, but I typically give in.  Who knows what my kids are doing at their houses.  They could be doing the same thing.

by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:23 PM

 My kids are really young, and don't have friends over yet...but growing up, my mom always fed neighbor kids...she knew that if I was at their house and hungry, I'd get fed as was not a big deal...

by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:49 PM
4 moms liked this
Never feed the neighbors kids! They are like stray animals once you feed them they never go away!!!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 1:51 PM

We have neighbors like that. But those neighbors were taught by their mother to be beggars. I used to feed them, but now I just say no. Go home, eat there.

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

I guess I just grew up where we all went to our neighbors houses and everyone had snacks and drinks and it wast a big deal... So now its no big deal to me. :-)

Quoting SuperChicken:


Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

Why is it rude for a 4 year old to say "I'm hungry".

That is so common at that age for them to want to snack all day long...

I don't see the big deal. It's not a teenager who knows he can wait to eat at home...

Quoting SuperChicken:

It is extremely rude to ask for food in someone else's home.    They have clearly never been taught any manners.  At the same time, it would be rude of you to refuse once asked if you are able to provide the food.    And it is also rude to make someone else uncomfortable by pointing out their lack of manners.  So I would give it to them.   Pleasantly.  

I find that so many young people today have zero concept of manners or appropriate social behavior.  It's a shame.  

A four year old saying I'm hungry is not the same as opening someone's door and demanding fruit.    And the reason it would be rude for a four year old is the same reason it would be rude for a teen.     If you don't teach manners to four years olds (and younger), you're never going to teach them to a teen.   Manners should be something a person isn't even aware of using they are so ingrained by the time they are an adult.  If you have to "think" about your manners, you're not really comfortable.     

That doesn't mean that it's not understandable that a four year old would "slip" on occasion, but repeated times is not "slipping."      His/her parents should be consistent in teaching, so their cute four year old doesn't become a rude and unwelcome teen.   

But, as I said, I would still give the child the food and do it nicely.    It is worse to point out someone else's bad manners than it is to have bad manners in the first place. 


by Christy on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:48 PM

I have and I have said no. It really is very much that their parents do not buy the things they are asking for such as fruit. You can say no too though. It would be rude to serve your kids in front of them but if they ask outside of you giving out snacks they are not going to be offended if you say no. 

by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 2:59 PM

Only if the kid is over at my house because I'm watching them or invited them over. If you just show up? No I'm not feeding you.

Even when I have invited/watched kids over I seriously limit the snacking.

I swear you get kids in a group and they all become starved. My kids have one snack after school, get another kid involved and it's like they haven't seen food in a week.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)