Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you deal, when horrible child abuse is within your own family Updated in red

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM
  • 52 Replies

How do I deal with the fact that someone in my family is guilty of crimes on their own children?  I'm so sickened, disgusted, and completely floored that I don't know how to deal with this. I am not getting into details due to the fact that this person has not yet been charged, and is denying the allegations horribly, but I don't doubt for a moment this person is completely guilty. 

It doesn't make any sense, there were no signs beforehand, we are not a violent family, hell we don't have a single person who has a conviction for anything. How the hell does this happen?

I'm so baffled, hurt, I want to take this person and beat ever loving shit out them. I want to scream and choke this person. I can't even bring myself to remember this person's good qualities. I'm just floored. I don't know how to deal and neither do this person's parents. We are all in shock.

PS, no the family is not supporting what this person did, however we are attempting to have this person committed. 


She actually has been proven innoncent of the accusation. What happened was two of the children where fighting horribly, she had been in the shower, the oldest was on top of the younger child choking him and beating his head into the floor. She grabbed him by the arm and spanked him pretty hard, she has admitted to loosing her temper and going overboard. The children had been coached by the other parent to lie about her, and they had been doing it for a while. When the school called CPS and they were questioned, out of fear of the other parent, they stretched the truth and blamed her for all the bruises.

They were removed, a child psychologist spent a great many hours with them and the middle child is the one who finally broke, his conscious got to him. 

The children are back with her and the entire family is in counseling. The court has been notified about the father and actions according to CPS are being taken. CPS is very much involved and will stay that way as long as it takes. 

She is an excellent mother, who acted without thinking, she made a mistake but the bruises were almost all made by the children physically fighting because of their parents divorce. She recognizes the need for her and the children to receive counseling. 

As you all can imagine, this has been an extremely stressful time for our family. I remain, as I always have, very much believing in her. The bruises she caused were when she grabbed the oldest and were extremely small. According to CPS, it has been ruled a family in need of counseling to deal with the changes and hurt. They wrote on the report that she is an excellent mother who panicked and over reacted to what the oldest was doing. 

That is the end of the updates on this. Thank you for your support. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:30 AM

If you're attemtping to have the person committed, there's not much else more you can do. Testify at any trial, IF you have information that would help the case.

MWV85
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:31 AM

 ......how about calling the cops.

MWV85
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:32 AM

 or CPS.

sherry132
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Immediately following the incident, this person sent the kids to school. The school notified the police and CPS. The children are now in states custody. This happened in the morning. 

Quoting MWV85:

 or CPS.


Oostera
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

If you are working to get them comitted, I'd say you are doing a lot. Have you called CPS at all so they can investigate?

I wish I had family like you around during my childhood. I didn't get so lucky. Do anything you can to save the child(ren).

annas_momma
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:34 AM
I agree with MWV. Call the cops, call CPS, take the child and let them stay with you or another family member. Having the committed is not enough, charges need to be pressed and the child made safe.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
annas_momma
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Ignore my comment then. Thank goodness they can keep that baby safe.

Quoting sherry132:

Immediately following the incident, this person sent the kids to school. The school notified the police and CPS. The children are now in states custody. This happened in the morning. 

Quoting MWV85:

 or CPS.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:36 AM

We've had some sickening child abuse within our family. It divided our whole family, too.

We started out by having family meetings. Some people got counseling and some of the people who got counseling did it for support within the family and not because they had suffered the abuse.



GLWerth
by Gina on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:37 AM

If CPS has been notified and you are trying to get the person committed, you've done what you can.

Now, you need to be there for the kids and ensure that they know that this is in no way their fault, that they are loved.

sherry132
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:38 AM

The school notified the police and CPS right after it happened. They are in states custody.

Quoting Oostera:

If you are working to get them comitted, I'd say you are doing a lot. Have you called CPS at all so they can investigate?

I wish I had family like you around during my childhood. I didn't get so lucky. Do anything you can to save the child(ren).


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured