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How do you deal, when horrible child abuse is within your own family Updated in red

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How do I deal with the fact that someone in my family is guilty of crimes on their own children?  I'm so sickened, disgusted, and completely floored that I don't know how to deal with this. I am not getting into details due to the fact that this person has not yet been charged, and is denying the allegations horribly, but I don't doubt for a moment this person is completely guilty. 

It doesn't make any sense, there were no signs beforehand, we are not a violent family, hell we don't have a single person who has a conviction for anything. How the hell does this happen?

I'm so baffled, hurt, I want to take this person and beat ever loving shit out them. I want to scream and choke this person. I can't even bring myself to remember this person's good qualities. I'm just floored. I don't know how to deal and neither do this person's parents. We are all in shock.

PS, no the family is not supporting what this person did, however we are attempting to have this person committed. 


She actually has been proven innoncent of the accusation. What happened was two of the children where fighting horribly, she had been in the shower, the oldest was on top of the younger child choking him and beating his head into the floor. She grabbed him by the arm and spanked him pretty hard, she has admitted to loosing her temper and going overboard. The children had been coached by the other parent to lie about her, and they had been doing it for a while. When the school called CPS and they were questioned, out of fear of the other parent, they stretched the truth and blamed her for all the bruises.

They were removed, a child psychologist spent a great many hours with them and the middle child is the one who finally broke, his conscious got to him. 

The children are back with her and the entire family is in counseling. The court has been notified about the father and actions according to CPS are being taken. CPS is very much involved and will stay that way as long as it takes. 

She is an excellent mother, who acted without thinking, she made a mistake but the bruises were almost all made by the children physically fighting because of their parents divorce. She recognizes the need for her and the children to receive counseling. 

As you all can imagine, this has been an extremely stressful time for our family. I remain, as I always have, very much believing in her. The bruises she caused were when she grabbed the oldest and were extremely small. According to CPS, it has been ruled a family in need of counseling to deal with the changes and hurt. They wrote on the report that she is an excellent mother who panicked and over reacted to what the oldest was doing. 

That is the end of the updates on this. Thank you for your support. 

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Replies (51-52):
sherry132
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:01 PM

I was almost the only one. My mom was the only other person. My family is completely against child abuse of any kind and in my family it isn't tolerated at all. 

I was in shock the night I wrote this, you know, I had a lot of unanswered questions and was trying to make some kind of sense of it all. But I spent a lot of time talking to her over the three weeks this went on.

yes, I'm glad I supported her. It's so important not to make judgements too quickly. Her parents are in counseling with her. After the baby died eleven years ago, our family has gone through a lot of guilt and blame, this has really made us realize we need to knock it off and stick together. Those kids should never have been in foster care, but too many years of no one wanting to admit that the babies death was just a tragic accident allowed these kids to go through so much. 

As a family, we are working together to heal from everything. The last decade has been difficult, but I really believe, we've found forgiveness and we will be stronger than ever. 

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

 Glad they have been reunited and are receiving the help they need! I'm thinking right about now you are happy you decided to support your family and not turn your back on her?

Quoting sherry132:

She actually has been proven innoncent of the accusation. What happened was two of the children where fighting horribly, she had been in the shower, the oldest was on top of the younger child choking him and beating his head into the floor. She grabbed him by the arm and spanked him pretty hard, she has admitted to loosing her temper and going overboard. The children had been coached by the other parent to lie about her, and they had been doing it for a while. When the school called CPS and they were questioned, out of fear of the other parent, they stretched the truth and blamed her for all the bruises.

They were removed, a child psychologist spent a great many hours with them and the middle child is the one who finally broke, his conscious got to him. 

The children are back with her and the entire family is in counseling. The court has been notified about the father and actions according to CPS are being taken. CPS is very much involved and will stay that way as long as it takes. 

She is an excellent mother, who acted without thinking, she made a mistake but the bruises were almost all made by the children physically fighting because of their parents divorce. She recognizes the need for her and the children to receive counseling. 

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

 It really depends. Was the abuse physical or sexual? If it was sexual I would do everything in my power to make sure the children Never had to be hear the person again. If it was a one time physical abuse resulting from some kind of breakdown, I would want the person punished and also to receive help so that they could hopefully one day reunite with the family member that hurt them. I would also want the children to have counselling.

 I'm sorry you are going through this.


 


lga1965
by Ruby Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:02 PM

 The bottom line is that family services or counselors can give you advice and help you more than any of us can. Personally, I wouldn't be sharing something like this with anyone on the Internet and I would be seeing professionals or the law about it.

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