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To those who hate on people who get public assistance

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 Why do you want to treat the poor like petrified dog shit? Have you ever even used food stamps? Do you even know how damn humiliating it is to know you can't support yourself and your child and have to depend on others to survive?

I was a single parent (and before you go off saying it was my choice- I was date raped and decided to keep my baby- I can admit that after 20 years now) and after serving in the Army, I worked 40-50 hours a week at a retail job. It paid so little that I qualified for subsidized daycare, food stamps and a medical card for my daughter. I wasn't a lazy good for nothing, I worked my ass off. In fact, I walked 30 blocks to drop her off at day care no matter what the weather was- rain, blizzard, then walked 30 blocks back down the street to get on the bus and then did the same thing after work. Sure, I would have been easier to just sit on my ass and collect cash assistance as well, but I didn't- because I have work ethic as do many poor people.

You have no damn idea how much having to take government help made me feel like a failure as a human being and a mother. There were many times I was glared at, called 'lazy bitch' and made to feel like crap while paying for my food with foodstamps- and this was when they were actual paper, not a card so there was no hiding the fact I was using them.

This one time, I was paying for my groceries and included were a cake mix, frosting and ice cream to make a cake for my daughters birthday (she was right there with me) when this old lady behind me told me- VERY loudly that I should be a contributing member of society, stop be so lazy, get a job and stop 'mooching off her tax dollars' and she then told me I had no right buying what I was because it wasn't 'real food'. I stood there crying, my daughter clinging to me looking up at me afraid, and even the cashier was looking at me like she felt sorry for me.

I had to stand in the cold and wait for a cab with my daughter asking me questions, both of us crying and me feeling even more humiliated then ever before.

Until you have been in my shoes, you have damn right to place asinine rules about what poor people HAVE to buy with your precious tax dollars because you have some superiority complex. What you should be feeling is warmth knowing you're helping out human being who are less fortunate in life than you are. Believe it or not, poor people understand that junk food is unhealthy but they too deserve a treat once in a while to give them some happiness. 

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM
Replies (11-20):
JoyfulinSD
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:54 AM
2 moms liked this

The reason why is, I have seen people on food stamps (a debit card here in our state) pull up in an Escalade, walk into the store, get t-bones and lobster tails for a party and pay with the card.  Then hear them bragging on their cell phones on the way out that they still have to spend the rest of their $200 left on the card for this month or it just goes back to the state.  I have had others offer to buy my food and charge me half of the receipt price if I give them cash.  I seen some saying on Facebook that they are looking for another freezer because they don't have enough room left for the food they are getting this month.  I would have no issues with food stamps if they would treat it like WIC.  Only certain brands, fresh meat as long as it's not top cut like prime rib, t bones, porterhouse, etc...  If the program was used the way it was ment to (like the way you discribe) no problem.

The thing that makes me angry is I seen a 78 year old widowed lady putting back 3 cans of potted meat because she didn't have the extra $1.00.  She had tears in her eyes, I asked her if everything was ok and she said she didn't have enough for the meat.  She went tot the check out and left.  I seen her walking In below zero temperatures, I pulled over and picked her up and gave her a ride.  On the ride, we talked and she explained that she didn't want to take food stamps not because of pride but because she didn't want to take food away from mothers and babies that need it.  when I dropped her off, I offered her some cash to help her out, even said she could pay me back if she would like so it wouldn't be charity or a gift,  She refused, thanked me for the ride then went into what was a step below a shack for a house.

Yes, I am a Democrat, I do support Aid to those in need but I think we are in need of an overhaul of the system.  I think it's crap that someone can get caught committing welfare fraud and still get it the following month.  It's not right that a parent paying child support to the other parent can be put in a poverty level but gross too much to get state aid.  My gma used to say "one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch."  It seems to me that she was right.  The actions of a few, make the program look bad as a whole.

Claire-Huxtable
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:58 AM
2 moms liked this

BTW, why is thinking the program should limit what they are able to purchase equal to hating the poor?

TugBoatMama
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:59 AM
2 moms liked this

 My mil is on food stamps for the first time in her life because she has been given full custody of my nephew and her income can't cover the full cost of having him. But his mother is a drug addict/prostitute and cannot care for him anymore so he has nowhere to go except with my mil. Reading some of the dumb bullshit on here from people who have never been poor is downright laugable, and I think they do it because it makes them feel self- satisfied. Sad really.

candlegal
by Judy on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:07 AM
2 moms liked this

I am trying to figure that one out too.  I have seen people go through the check stand with nothing but bags of candy and/or nothing but soda and chips and pull out their food stamp card, and then buy their beer with their own cash.

Quoting Claire-Huxtable:

BTW, why is thinking the program should limit what they are able to purchase equal to hating the poor?


sneffy014
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:11 AM


Quoting celticwych:

 So your saying "suck it up and get over feeling  the way you do because everyone has there own story"? REALLY?   Your pick and choose compassion for others is amazing.  The bottom line is the disrespect she endured from a stranger.  Apparently she isnt poor enough to earn respect.  IF she was overweight and someone said this same thing to her even though she paid cash......would you feel the same way?   I love it when people say "I dont begrudge" then they put there own little spin on not begrudging.  

Quoting sneffy014:

I really don't like to judge and I agree with the part about being in your shoes. The only thing I will say is PA of any kind was never meant to be a long term solution. It was designed to help people get back on their feet during tough times. I would speculate that many people don't know what living in extreme poverty means. Heck, I am NOT on food stamps and although money is very tight for me, I have never been truly poor where I have to decide between cake and actual nutritious food. The fact that your daughter may not be able to enjoy cake while on food stamps may be depressing to you, but there are truly people out there who have NO FOOD at all. There are homeless people still living in the United States and people who can't afford electricity or clothing. A piece of bread and glass of milk would be a delicacy to them. It's all about perspective. I don't begrudge anyone cake or sweets, even those on food stamps. Everyone has their own story. But if you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, clothing on your back and enough food stamps to buy the basics and keep your family from starving until things get better for you, then I would count your blessings. Look around, there is always someone much worse off than you.

 

Nowhere did I say she wasn't entitled to respect or to her feelings. I wouldn't say anything to someone I saw in a grocery line but she posted it on a public forum so I am replying in MY honest opinion. It's about perspective. There have been times in my life where I can't afford extras and sometimes just barely get by. We have never applied for foodstamps but I am sure there have been times when I could have used them. We wouldn't qualify though.  But, after I am done feeling depressed, I try to look at the bigger picture. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes on my back. So, I would say I am in pretty good shape. The woman in the store was rude. But, when you have a fixed budget for food, you have to make choices. The best gift you can give a child is love and affection as well as a roof over their head and food in their belly. While it is nice to be able to have "extra" for a cake or sweets. Happiness should not depend on it.

Billiejeens
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:12 AM

I have been here awhile, and that is exactly what I think.

Quoting katzmeow726:

LOL, you obviously haven't been in this group long, if you think that.

Quoting december911:

I am sorry you had to deal with those things, but not everyone on government assistance is targeted imo. I think people get upset at those that brag about having everything given to them. I personally don't care what people buy. I don't want anyone judging what is in my cart for my lazy cooking days lol I just want drug testing done so that those that are taking advantage of the system won't be able to anymore...We were on government asssistance when I was a kid. No it isn't fun. It is embarrassing. But if I had to do it now, to feed my kids I would. Luckily I haven't had to...

 



Billiejeens
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:16 AM
2 moms liked this

I dunno, but it would seem to me, that this is exactly the type of situation that the safety net was constructed for.

Nephew gets to stay with family - Win!

Less expensive (and better) than putting him into the system - Win.

<and I am fairly outspoken at times>

Quoting TugBoatMama:

 My mil is on food stamps for the first time in her life because she has been given full custody of my nephew and her income can't cover the full cost of having him. But his mother is a drug addict/prostitute and cannot care for him anymore so he has nowhere to go except with my mil. Reading some of the dumb bullshit on here from people who have never been poor is downright laugable, and I think they do it because it makes them feel self- satisfied. Sad really.


SuperChicken
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:31 AM
3 moms liked this

Obviously it's personal for you, so you probably won't like my opinion.   I don't think people "deserve" treats on other people's money.   People deserve decent nutrition, and if there is enough extra to buy junk then they don't need as much as they are getting.    The  idea that people are entitled to, deserve, and should be given anything they want without so much as a raised eyebrow is odd to me.    Buying junk food on pa is not a "helping hand." 

I couldn't be bothered to check people's carts or how they are paying, but I kind of roll my eyes at complaining it's embarrassing to use food stampswhen buying non-necessities.       Foodstamps are a good program, and I think people should use them if needed.     However, the "I deserve junk food and you should feel happy giving it to me and if you don't you're a horrible hateful scrooge" attitude is a bit silly.

Dzyre1115
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:34 AM
3 moms liked this

 Your circumstances don't change the fact that soda and candy are non-necessities and should not be covered by food stamps!

ms-superwoman
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 9:38 AM
3 moms liked this

People need to stop fueling the flame. To many people think that people who are on some form of PA, must be lazy, don't work, etc... Even when a simple Google search can show statistics and factual numbers. People still refuse the facts and declare poor people to be the laziest losers sucking up all these entitlements. It is quite sad.

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