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To those who hate on people who get public assistance

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 Why do you want to treat the poor like petrified dog shit? Have you ever even used food stamps? Do you even know how damn humiliating it is to know you can't support yourself and your child and have to depend on others to survive?

I was a single parent (and before you go off saying it was my choice- I was date raped and decided to keep my baby- I can admit that after 20 years now) and after serving in the Army, I worked 40-50 hours a week at a retail job. It paid so little that I qualified for subsidized daycare, food stamps and a medical card for my daughter. I wasn't a lazy good for nothing, I worked my ass off. In fact, I walked 30 blocks to drop her off at day care no matter what the weather was- rain, blizzard, then walked 30 blocks back down the street to get on the bus and then did the same thing after work. Sure, I would have been easier to just sit on my ass and collect cash assistance as well, but I didn't- because I have work ethic as do many poor people.

You have no damn idea how much having to take government help made me feel like a failure as a human being and a mother. There were many times I was glared at, called 'lazy bitch' and made to feel like crap while paying for my food with foodstamps- and this was when they were actual paper, not a card so there was no hiding the fact I was using them.

This one time, I was paying for my groceries and included were a cake mix, frosting and ice cream to make a cake for my daughters birthday (she was right there with me) when this old lady behind me told me- VERY loudly that I should be a contributing member of society, stop be so lazy, get a job and stop 'mooching off her tax dollars' and she then told me I had no right buying what I was because it wasn't 'real food'. I stood there crying, my daughter clinging to me looking up at me afraid, and even the cashier was looking at me like she felt sorry for me.

I had to stand in the cold and wait for a cab with my daughter asking me questions, both of us crying and me feeling even more humiliated then ever before.

Until you have been in my shoes, you have damn right to place asinine rules about what poor people HAVE to buy with your precious tax dollars because you have some superiority complex. What you should be feeling is warmth knowing you're helping out human being who are less fortunate in life than you are. Believe it or not, poor people understand that junk food is unhealthy but they too deserve a treat once in a while to give them some happiness. 

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM
Replies (121-130):
Dzyre1115
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:01 PM
2 moms liked this

 I am serious, there are a million stories just like that one, they're all the same and they are all sad, but the rules for food stamps should not include items that are not necessities.  What about all of the other people in the world, that have the same sob stories, yet don't qualify for help and yet they can't afford a cake? 

Quoting makelineerror:

Are you serious? The only thing you can see is a sob story? The kid was DYING. They weren't celebrating just any birthday. They thought it was going to be her last. What would you have done in her situation? "Sorry sweetie. I don't feel that food stamps should be used for special treats, and because your medical bills have wiped our finances, we don't have cash to buy you that pretty cake we saw. I know you really wanted that cake, but maybe we can get it when things aren't so tight, mmkay?"

Seriously, I think you might want to go see if there are any icicles forming on your right breast, because your heart must be horribly frozen over.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Everyone has a sob story, that doesn't change the fact that food stamps are for survival not parties. 


Quoting makelineerror:

A few years ago, there was a letter written in to Dear Abby. The person was upset because the woman in front of her was buying a $13 cake on food stamps.

Some time later, the letter was republished along with several responses to it. One of those was the woman who bought the cake. She wrote that the cake was for her daughter who was turning six. The little girl had bone cancer and wasn't expected to live another year, so the family was celebrating what was likely to be her last birthday. I don't know about you, but if I were in her situation, I would go all the fuck out for that party. It would be worth EVERYTHING to have one day of laughter and celebration among who knows how many days of misery and pain.


And before someone says "they should have used cash", do you really think they had a lot of extra money lying around? Chances are, one parent had to quit their job to care for the little girl and because of that, they had to go on food stamps. But that was their choice, right?



Quoting Dzyre1115:


 Your circumstances don't change the fact that soda and candy are non-necessities and should not be covered by food stamps!



 


 

IhartU
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:11 PM

 

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 I am serious, there are a million stories just like that one, they're all the same and they are all sad, but the rules for food stamps should not include items that are not necessities.  What about all of the other people in the world, that have the same sob stories, yet don't qualify for help and yet they can't afford a cake? 

 And who exactly gets to decide what a necessity is and how much each individual get of those necessities? Who is going to be in charge of charting out a caloric and nutritious meal plan for every person on foodstamps and making sure they stick to it? 

 How about we instead have mandatory classes for those on foodstamps educating them on proper nutition and ways to cook from scratch and let them make their own decisions while grocery shopping...

LilyofPhilly
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:13 PM
You just don't get it. Are there people that are conservative, pro - life and anti -PA? Well yeah, probably. If you throw enough generalizations against the wall, some of them will stick eventually. You need to accept that different people think all sorts of ways about all sorts of things. Stop looking to categorize people into little boxes. It's failing you.

Quoting brookiecookie87:

You are being rather obtuse now.

I never said my assumptions about you were correct. But they are correct when focused on who they were aimed at. And the people they are aimed at will come in here. Do you understand, yet?

This is my original quote.

Quote:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.
This post still stands. Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) And try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life"

So you are not conservative or Pro-Life-Great. That doesn't change how I am astounded by people who are. So it doesn't chage my post-Understand yet?

My post was never based on your thought process. But the thought process I thought you had. It's not your thought process-Great. But it doesn't change the thought process of the people who are using it. And it's them that astound me.

I was redundant in this post but saying a statement once seems to not be working on you. So one more time.


My statement doesn't need to be attached to your post at all. It doesn't require anything from you to be true. I could have posted on it's own. I did assume you were one of the people that my post frames so I quoted your post. You say I am wrong-And that is great. I am glad you are not one of those people with a contradictory opinion. But that does not change that those people exist and will be in this topic. I have admitted that I was wrong about you from the very start. I never defended that assertion and claimed you were lying. I never defended that part.

The other part is still true though. There are conservatives that are pro-life and then when the baby is born they don't care anymore.

That's not a statement I have to defend because it is still true. Understand?



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Wow you sure are adament about defending your failed assumptions.



Quoting brookiecookie87:

Are you disagreeing that most conservatives are Pro-Life? Or are you disagreeing that most conservatives look down on people who use PA?

I am not saying everyone that is Pro life is conservative. And I am not saying everyone who is conservative is Pro Life.

Did you see me say, that I was right about you? And that you are lying? No.

I am saying that most likely someone who is Conservative/prolife and looks down on PA will come into this topic. So I am going to leave this post like this. And I will do the same in the future.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Oh I see. You like making generalizations about what kind of people think what ways and even when your assumption fails are pointed out to you, you stick to your stereotypes because "they're usually right" M'kay!





Quoting brookiecookie87:

No-Next time I will say the same thing. Because it is normally the conservative/ Pro Lifer that makes that assertion. And there is a chance they will see my post so it is not like there is not a point to it being out there.

You are the first Pro-Choice person I have seen with that opinion.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Well I suggest next time you leave out your assumptions.







Quoting brookiecookie87:

I thought I was. Next time I see someone post something like you just did I wll.





Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So go quote them.









Quoting brookiecookie87:

Nice try?

It's still a solid and true statement. It might not apply to you but it still applies to nearly every conservative pro-choice person who will say the same thing you just said. Which will be most people who come in this topic with your stance.






Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yeah, I'm not a conservative and I'm pro -choice, but nice try. I'm just sick of people whining about having limitations on their hand outs.











Quoting brookiecookie87:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.







Quoting LilyofPhilly:

You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.







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Dzyre1115
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:14 PM
2 moms liked this

 Soda and candy are not a necessity for anyone.....

We don't need to waste anymore borrowed funding on useless education projects that have no proven results anyway.

Quoting IhartU:

 

Quoting Dzyre1115:

 I am serious, there are a million stories just like that one, they're all the same and they are all sad, but the rules for food stamps should not include items that are not necessities.  What about all of the other people in the world, that have the same sob stories, yet don't qualify for help and yet they can't afford a cake? 

 And who exactly gets to decide what a necessity is and how much each individual get of those necessities? Who is going to be in charge of charting out a caloric and nutritious meal plan for every person on foodstamps and making sure they stick to it? 

 How about we instead have mandatory classes for those on foodstamps educating them on proper nutition and ways to cook from scratch and let them make their own decisions while grocery shopping...

 

Aivlys_
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:21 PM
People feel how they feel about foodstamps, and just how you like to state your opinion on religion, we have the right to our opinion on foodstamps... No need to get offended, its not directed at you! O.o
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Claire-Huxtable
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:23 PM
The government, since they are handing them out.


And I am not sure cooking classes would matter. Our church offers weekly cooking classes for those who use the food pantry and almost everyone is insulted by offering to show them 6 different ways to cook chicken or how to repurpose rice.



Quoting IhartU:

 



Quoting Dzyre1115:



 I am serious, there are a million stories just like that one, they're all the same and they are all sad, but the rules for food stamps should not include items that are not necessities.  What about all of the other people in the world, that have the same sob stories, yet don't qualify for help and yet they can't afford a cake? 



 And who exactly gets to decide what a necessity is and how much each individual get of those necessities? Who is going to be in charge of charting out a caloric and nutritious meal plan for every person on foodstamps and making sure they stick to it? 



 How about we instead have mandatory classes for those on foodstamps educating them on proper nutition and ways to cook from scratch and let them make their own decisions while grocery shopping...



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
brookiecookie87
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:25 PM

Here is the problem.

I -NEVER- said every conservative is Pro-Life and Anti PA. In fact after you said that is not your viewpoint I said, "Okay.". I didn't say, "No you have to be! You have to be!" I accepted it.

I -NEVER- said, "You have to fall into line with my view". NEVER.

I -NEVER- said if you are Anti PA you HAVE to be Pro-Life. You have to be! I -NEVER- said any of that.

I was pointing out the inconsistency of someone who is Pro-Life and Anti-PA. If you are not that person-Great!. Hear that? Great!

My assertion was aimed at those people. I didn't say, "You HAVE to be one!" Or that, "Anyone Anti PA has to be Pro Life!" or that, "Anyone Pro Life has to be Anti PA". I -NEVER- said any of that.

Again-I was pointing out the inconsistency of someone who is Pro-Life and Anti-PA. You don't have to be either, both, or even exist for that statement to be consistent and true.

I wasn't looking to categorize you. After you said you were not part of that group. I accepted it. The only person who hasn't accepted it is you.

Quoting LilyofPhilly:

You just don't get it. Are there people that are conservative, pro - life and anti -PA? Well yeah, probably. If you throw enough generalizations against the wall, some of them will stick eventually. You need to accept that different people think all sorts of ways about all sorts of things. Stop looking to categorize people into little boxes. It's failing you.

Quoting brookiecookie87:

You are being rather obtuse now.

I never said my assumptions about you were correct. But they are correct when focused on who they were aimed at. And the people they are aimed at will come in here. Do you understand, yet?

This is my original quote.

Quote:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.
This post still stands. Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) And try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life"

So you are not conservative or Pro-Life-Great. That doesn't change how I am astounded by people who are. So it doesn't chage my post-Understand yet?

My post was never based on your thought process. But the thought process I thought you had. It's not your thought process-Great. But it doesn't change the thought process of the people who are using it. And it's them that astound me.

I was redundant in this post but saying a statement once seems to not be working on you. So one more time.


My statement doesn't need to be attached to your post at all. It doesn't require anything from you to be true. I could have posted on it's own. I did assume you were one of the people that my post frames so I quoted your post. You say I am wrong-And that is great. I am glad you are not one of those people with a contradictory opinion. But that does not change that those people exist and will be in this topic. I have admitted that I was wrong about you from the very start. I never defended that assertion and claimed you were lying. I never defended that part.

The other part is still true though. There are conservatives that are pro-life and then when the baby is born they don't care anymore.

That's not a statement I have to defend because it is still true. Understand?



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Wow you sure are adament about defending your failed assumptions.



Quoting brookiecookie87:

Are you disagreeing that most conservatives are Pro-Life? Or are you disagreeing that most conservatives look down on people who use PA?

I am not saying everyone that is Pro life is conservative. And I am not saying everyone who is conservative is Pro Life.

Did you see me say, that I was right about you? And that you are lying? No.

I am saying that most likely someone who is Conservative/prolife and looks down on PA will come into this topic. So I am going to leave this post like this. And I will do the same in the future.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Oh I see. You like making generalizations about what kind of people think what ways and even when your assumption fails are pointed out to you, you stick to your stereotypes because "they're usually right" M'kay!





Quoting brookiecookie87:

No-Next time I will say the same thing. Because it is normally the conservative/ Pro Lifer that makes that assertion. And there is a chance they will see my post so it is not like there is not a point to it being out there.

You are the first Pro-Choice person I have seen with that opinion.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Well I suggest next time you leave out your assumptions.







Quoting brookiecookie87:

I thought I was. Next time I see someone post something like you just did I wll.





Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So go quote them.









Quoting brookiecookie87:

Nice try?

It's still a solid and true statement. It might not apply to you but it still applies to nearly every conservative pro-choice person who will say the same thing you just said. Which will be most people who come in this topic with your stance.






Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yeah, I'm not a conservative and I'm pro -choice, but nice try. I'm just sick of people whining about having limitations on their hand outs.










Quoting brookiecookie87:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.










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MsDenuninani
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:29 PM


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Who's vilifying her? She gave her opinion and I gave mine. No one can humiliate you without your permission. If she truly felt that she wasn't doing anything wrong, then why should some stranger in a grocery store have bothered her? Obviously, she is a prideful person that rose above her circumstances.
I might add that if we'd all fight for fair labor practices, we wouldn't have people being put in these humiliating situations.


 

 If she truly felt that she wasn't doing anything wrong, then why should some stranger in a grocery store have bothered her?

With all do respect, that's a bunch of hooey.  The fact that she survived the humiliation does not make it okay for someone to humiliate her.  This is one of those classic "no one can make you feel bad about yourself" arguments, which while is technically true, it does not mean that the woman in the store did not do anything wrong.

The OP told a story, meant to inform others of what it is actually like to be in her shoes.  Your "I don't feel bad for you comment" (which you made initially) was made because you think people on food stamps deserve to be treated that way.  In other words, you think that she deserves humiliation, and you are now suggesting the fact that she felt humiliation is proof that she does.

Again, what a bunch of hogwash.  I fervently hope you do not actively believe that if you feel bad, you deserve to feel bad, but if you are, I do hope that you never, ever have a bad day or are ever kicked while you are down. 

(Actually, I hope that anyway, for everyone.  Those days suck.) 

ashleyrenee24
by Ashley on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:32 PM

 Duh that some don't work. There still is the misconception that most don't work.

Quoting juju40:

because some don't..I said some

Quoting ashleyrenee24:

I hate the misconception that people on welfare don't work.


 

Aivlys_
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:35 PM
EXACTLY!


Quoting Claire-Huxtable:

BTW, why is thinking the program should limit what they are able to purchase equal to hating the poor?


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