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To those who hate on people who get public assistance

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 Why do you want to treat the poor like petrified dog shit? Have you ever even used food stamps? Do you even know how damn humiliating it is to know you can't support yourself and your child and have to depend on others to survive?

I was a single parent (and before you go off saying it was my choice- I was date raped and decided to keep my baby- I can admit that after 20 years now) and after serving in the Army, I worked 40-50 hours a week at a retail job. It paid so little that I qualified for subsidized daycare, food stamps and a medical card for my daughter. I wasn't a lazy good for nothing, I worked my ass off. In fact, I walked 30 blocks to drop her off at day care no matter what the weather was- rain, blizzard, then walked 30 blocks back down the street to get on the bus and then did the same thing after work. Sure, I would have been easier to just sit on my ass and collect cash assistance as well, but I didn't- because I have work ethic as do many poor people.

You have no damn idea how much having to take government help made me feel like a failure as a human being and a mother. There were many times I was glared at, called 'lazy bitch' and made to feel like crap while paying for my food with foodstamps- and this was when they were actual paper, not a card so there was no hiding the fact I was using them.

This one time, I was paying for my groceries and included were a cake mix, frosting and ice cream to make a cake for my daughters birthday (she was right there with me) when this old lady behind me told me- VERY loudly that I should be a contributing member of society, stop be so lazy, get a job and stop 'mooching off her tax dollars' and she then told me I had no right buying what I was because it wasn't 'real food'. I stood there crying, my daughter clinging to me looking up at me afraid, and even the cashier was looking at me like she felt sorry for me.

I had to stand in the cold and wait for a cab with my daughter asking me questions, both of us crying and me feeling even more humiliated then ever before.

Until you have been in my shoes, you have damn right to place asinine rules about what poor people HAVE to buy with your precious tax dollars because you have some superiority complex. What you should be feeling is warmth knowing you're helping out human being who are less fortunate in life than you are. Believe it or not, poor people understand that junk food is unhealthy but they too deserve a treat once in a while to give them some happiness. 

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM
Replies (91-100):
brookiecookie87
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:30 AM

No-Next time I will say the same thing. Because it is normally the conservative/ Pro Lifer that makes that assertion. And there is a chance they will see my post so it is not like there is not a point to it being out there.

You are the first Pro-Choice person I have seen with that opinion.

Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Well I suggest next time you leave out your assumptions.

Quoting brookiecookie87:

I thought I was. Next time I see someone post something like you just did I wll.


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So go quote them.



Quoting brookiecookie87:

Nice try?

It's still a solid and true statement. It might not apply to you but it still applies to nearly every conservative pro-choice person who will say the same thing you just said. Which will be most people who come in this topic with your stance.



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yeah, I'm not a conservative and I'm pro -choice, but nice try. I'm just sick of people whining about having limitations on their hand outs.





Quoting brookiecookie87:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.





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StrawberryCool
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Do you know about 50% of homeless people chose ti be homeless?

You cabt tell me they dont know how to go into a library and apply for a job, and if you dont know how to use one, im sure you can ask for help.


Quoting sneffy014:

I really don't like to judge and I agree with the part about being in your shoes. The only thing I will say is PA of any kind was never meant to be a long term solution. It was designed to help people get back on their feet during tough times. I would speculate that many people don't know what living in extreme poverty means. Heck, I am NOT on food stamps and although money is very tight for me, I have never been truly poor where I have to decide between cake and actual nutritious food. The fact that your daughter may not be able to enjoy cake while on food stamps may be depressing to you, but there are truly people out there who have NO FOOD at all. There are homeless people still living in the United States and people who can't afford electricity or clothing. A piece of bread and glass of milk would be a delicacy to them. It's all about perspective. I don't begrudge anyone cake or sweets, even those on food stamps. Everyone has their own story. But if you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, clothing on your back and enough food stamps to buy the basics and keep your family from starving until things get better for you, then I would count your blessings. Look around, there is always someone much worse off than you.


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candlegal
by Judy on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:31 AM

I agree with you.   If they want the food stamps, they should have to take a few classes on how to cook healthy choices for their families.

Quoting 1Giovanni:

I agree that they shouldn't get junk food, but most of them don't know anything else. That is why classes like this help them a lot. I was amazed on how people just couldn't make it on amount they would get. I made them make me a list, they just had no clue how to shop. Now most of them can shop healthy and have money/fs left over. I think if they are taught how to shop and cook you don't have to make it where they can't buy junk food, they will not want to buy it anymore.

Quoting candlegal:

that isn't one that many people get but many do get the $25 and $30 ones.   I just think they should make their own.

Kudos to you.   I agree that people should be able to volunteer and do something to earn them.   I am not talking about the 80 year old woman that needs fs to survive.

I don't have a problem with people that need fs, I don't have a problem with people that need help once in a while, it is the lifers and the abusers I have a problem with.  I also don't think they should be able to buy a bunch of junk food with them.

Quoting 1Giovanni:

$50 for a birthday cake wow, that is totally expensive. I just bought a cake for $8 it was a very nice one(I was helping my mother, she couldn't get to the store. I used her money). I do agree make a cake from scratch, I do this when I am on fs or not.

We have a program in our community, it is free for everyone no matter if they are on fs or not. It teaches people how to shop and make things from scratch. When they cut money, they almost cut the program. I volunteer to take it over for nothing. Right now we get fs, but thy lady I work with told me I should sign up for fs, for payment for teaching the class. I think it is a good trade. I also think that people should volunteer at least 10 hours a wk if they get fs and not working a job. That can mean many different things like voluteer at your kids school, or help at a soup kitchen. I also do both of those. I do this if I am working or not, it just depends on how many hours I can voluteer if I work.

Quoting candlegal:

Actually I would rather see someone buy the ingredients to make a birthday cake, what is that, about maybe $5.00 vs. going over to the bakery and ordering a cake for $30. or $50. which can also be bought with a foodstamp card.   Make your own cake, don't expect taxpayers to pay for your $50.  birthday cake.  There is no way this should be allowed but it is.





candlegal
by Judy on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:32 AM

Why, because if they have the money for their booze, they should be spending it on their food.

Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:


Quoting candlegal:

I am trying to figure that one out too.  I have seen people go through the check stand with nothing but bags of candy and/or nothing but soda and chips and pull out their food stamp card, and then buy their beer with their own cash.

Quoting Claire-Huxtable:

BTW, why is thinking the program should limit what they are able to purchase equal to hating the poor?


Does that bother you?

Why?


Joqui
by Joqui on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I don't understand the alienation... them... us ... but that's not the point ;-)

I think it should be up to the individual to budget their food stamps and spend them how they see fit.  I do find it ridiculous that the system will allow to buy a cake from the bakery but not a rotisserie chicken -- I guess my issue is with the system itself and not with the people.  

Human beings will always find a way to abuse or manipulate, it is in our nature. But the system should at least attempt at being a better judge of what it will cover and what it won't.  

Quoting candlegal:

It is ridiculous but it is done all the time.  At least the rotesserie chicken is healthy but expensive.   I don't have a problem with them having to cook their own chicken just as they should bake their own cakes.

Quoting Joqui:

That's ridiculous. 

I would much rather have the FS money spent on the ready made foods then on a damn cake, but what do I know... I'm just a person LOL

Quoting candlegal:

This time you are wrong, you can get ready made cakes.   Believe me the first time I answered the phone in the bakery and someone asked me if they could get a birthday cake with FS, i told them no.   I asked my manager before I hung up and she said, oh yes you can.

They cannot get any of the ready made foods out of the deli, such as roterrerie chicken, mashed potatoes and such, but they can get birthday cakes.  Call you local HEB and ask for the bakery and ask them if you can pay for a birthday cake with FS and see what they tell you.

They buy sushi all the time with them also.

Quoting Joqui:

candle I may be wrong but I don't think you can buy one of the ready made cakes from the grocery store with the FS card, I know for sure it won't cover any of the fried chicken or ready made mashed potatoes etc. At least not in Houston. Nothing that is fully cooked ... maybe the rotisserie chicken but any thing else that is fully cooked already FS here in Houston, TX won't cover it... 

Quoting candlegal:

that isn't one that many people get but many do get the $25 and $30 ones.   I just think they should make their own.

Kudos to you.   I agree that people should be able to volunteer and do something to earn them.   I am not talking about the 80 year old woman that needs fs to survive.

I don't have a problem with people that need fs, I don't have a problem with people that need help once in a while, it is the lifers and the abusers I have a problem with.  I also don't think they should be able to buy a bunch of junk food with them.

Quoting 1Giovanni:

$50 for a birthday cake wow, that is totally expensive. I just bought a cake for $8 it was a very nice one(I was helping my mother, she couldn't get to the store. I used her money). I do agree make a cake from scratch, I do this when I am on fs or not.

We have a program in our community, it is free for everyone no matter if they are on fs or not. It teaches people how to shop and make things from scratch. When they cut money, they almost cut the program. I volunteer to take it over for nothing. Right now we get fs, but thy lady I work with told me I should sign up for fs, for payment for teaching the class. I think it is a good trade. I also think that people should volunteer at least 10 hours a wk if they get fs and not working a job. That can mean many different things like voluteer at your kids school, or help at a soup kitchen. I also do both of those. I do this if I am working or not, it just depends on how many hours I can voluteer if I work.

Quoting candlegal:

Actually I would rather see someone buy the ingredients to make a birthday cake, what is that, about maybe $5.00 vs. going over to the bakery and ordering a cake for $30. or $50. which can also be bought with a foodstamp card.   Make your own cake, don't expect taxpayers to pay for your $50.  birthday cake.  There is no way this should be allowed but it is.








makelineerror
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Are you serious? The only thing you can see is a sob story? The kid was DYING. They weren't celebrating just any birthday. They thought it was going to be her last. What would you have done in her situation? "Sorry sweetie. I don't feel that food stamps should be used for special treats, and because your medical bills have wiped our finances, we don't have cash to buy you that pretty cake we saw. I know you really wanted that cake, but maybe we can get it when things aren't so tight, mmkay?"

Seriously, I think you might want to go see if there are any icicles forming on your right breast, because your heart must be horribly frozen over.


Quoting Dzyre1115:

 Everyone has a sob story, that doesn't change the fact that food stamps are for survival not parties. 


Quoting makelineerror:

A few years ago, there was a letter written in to Dear Abby. The person was upset because the woman in front of her was buying a $13 cake on food stamps.

Some time later, the letter was republished along with several responses to it. One of those was the woman who bought the cake. She wrote that the cake was for her daughter who was turning six. The little girl had bone cancer and wasn't expected to live another year, so the family was celebrating what was likely to be her last birthday. I don't know about you, but if I were in her situation, I would go all the fuck out for that party. It would be worth EVERYTHING to have one day of laughter and celebration among who knows how many days of misery and pain.


And before someone says "they should have used cash", do you really think they had a lot of extra money lying around? Chances are, one parent had to quit their job to care for the little girl and because of that, they had to go on food stamps. But that was their choice, right?



Quoting Dzyre1115:


 Your circumstances don't change the fact that soda and candy are non-necessities and should not be covered by food stamps!



 


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MsDenuninani
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:34 AM


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

The question here, as I see it, is whether or not food stamps should only be for certain foods. The OP makes the judgement that if one believes it should be so then that person is cold an uncaring. My point was that for a birthday cake, which is not a regular expense, she'd have found a way if the food stamps were unavailable.
So to answer your question, is MY child less deserving of a birthday cake if I couldn't afford it and don't have food stamps? Or should I have thought ahead and budgeted for it? No one deserves a birthday cake. Things like that are wants, not needs. Food stamps are made to fill needs. Where do we draw the line on filling people's wants? Cakes? Parties? Toys? We could sit here all day saying all children *deserve* these things.


We'd reach a pretty quick impasse!

I think kids deserve everything -- cakes, parties, you name it.

Whether they get it depends on something else entirely.  (Life isn't fair -- you don't always get what you deserve.)

So my point is -- the child deserves a mother who loves her and wants to celebrate her birthday.  And her mother fulfills that the best way that she sees fit, in the best manner available to her, the same as any mother would.

[I doubt we will ever, be able to seperate "wants" from "needs" when it comes to food.  The company that makes that birthday cake mix has a very strong interest in making sure that it is considered "food" and eligible for food stamps (and likely a very strong lobby), so that alone means no one is seperating out cake from other food any time soon.  And the mother has the right to use that simple fact to her advantage.  Should she not have been able to buy the cake with her stamps, you're right, she probably would've found another way to do so.  But the fact that she did is no reason to vilify her, as she was maximizing resources, as she has every right to do.]

LilyofPhilly
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Oh I see. You like making generalizations about what kind of people think what ways and even when your assumption fails are pointed out to you, you stick to your stereotypes because "they're usually right" M'kay!

Quoting brookiecookie87:

No-Next time I will say the same thing. Because it is normally the conservative/ Pro Lifer that makes that assertion. And there is a chance they will see my post so it is not like there is not a point to it being out there.

You are the first Pro-Choice person I have seen with that opinion.


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Well I suggest next time you leave out your assumptions.



Quoting brookiecookie87:

I thought I was. Next time I see someone post something like you just did I wll.



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So go quote them.





Quoting brookiecookie87:

Nice try?

It's still a solid and true statement. It might not apply to you but it still applies to nearly every conservative pro-choice person who will say the same thing you just said. Which will be most people who come in this topic with your stance.




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Yeah, I'm not a conservative and I'm pro -choice, but nice try. I'm just sick of people whining about having limitations on their hand outs.







Quoting brookiecookie87:

This thought process always astounds me.

Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.





Quoting LilyofPhilly:

You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.





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StrawberryCool
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:39 AM
So Youre telling me that because im on fs and my room mate and husband work full time!!!! I shouldnt be able to enjoy a steak every few months, I shouldnt enjoy a soda, and I shouldnt allow to give my daughter the memory of making cookies for Santa?

And whatever is left on their card should roll over...they are talking out the ass.


Quoting JoyfulinSD:

The reason why is, I have seen people on food stamps (a debit card here in our state) pull up in an Escalade, walk into the store, get t-bones and lobster tails for a party and pay with the card.  Then hear them bragging on their cell phones on the way out that they still have to spend the rest of their $200 left on the card for this month or it just goes back to the state.  I have had others offer to buy my food and charge me half of the receipt price if I give them cash.  I seen some saying on Facebook that they are looking for another freezer because they don't have enough room left for the food they are getting this month.  I would have no issues with food stamps if they would treat it like WIC.  Only certain brands, fresh meat as long as it's not top cut like prime rib, t bones, porterhouse, etc...  If the program was used the way it was ment to (like the way you discribe) no problem.


The thing that makes me angry is I seen a 78 year old widowed lady putting back 3 cans of potted meat because she didn't have the extra $1.00.  She had tears in her eyes, I asked her if everything was ok and she said she didn't have enough for the meat.  She went tot the check out and left.  I seen her walking In below zero temperatures, I pulled over and picked her up and gave her a ride.  On the ride, we talked and she explained that she didn't want to take food stamps not because of pride but because she didn't want to take food away from mothers and babies that need it.  when I dropped her off, I offered her some cash to help her out, even said she could pay me back if she would like so it wouldn't be charity or a gift,  She refused, thanked me for the ride then went into what was a step below a shack for a house.


Yes, I am a Democrat, I do support Aid to those in need but I think we are in need of an overhaul of the system.  I think it's crap that someone can get caught committing welfare fraud and still get it the following month.  It's not right that a parent paying child support to the other parent can be put in a poverty level but gross too much to get state aid.  My gma used to say "one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch."  It seems to me that she was right.  The actions of a few, make the program look bad as a whole.


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jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 11:40 AM
I dont get the big deal. They are given basically a cash award based on their income. Your tax contribution wouldn't change regardless of whether they are buying soda or milk. So what's it to you? Are you wanting in on some of that sweet poverty? Regretting the paycheck that allows you to not have to depend on others? Poor you.

And let's not forget that cash assistance and child support are often on the same card, so they my not be using your $2 tax contribution to pay for an effing cake. Get over yourselves.
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