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To those who hate on people who get public assistance

Posted by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM
  • 234 Replies
27 moms liked this

 Why do you want to treat the poor like petrified dog shit? Have you ever even used food stamps? Do you even know how damn humiliating it is to know you can't support yourself and your child and have to depend on others to survive?

I was a single parent (and before you go off saying it was my choice- I was date raped and decided to keep my baby- I can admit that after 20 years now) and after serving in the Army, I worked 40-50 hours a week at a retail job. It paid so little that I qualified for subsidized daycare, food stamps and a medical card for my daughter. I wasn't a lazy good for nothing, I worked my ass off. In fact, I walked 30 blocks to drop her off at day care no matter what the weather was- rain, blizzard, then walked 30 blocks back down the street to get on the bus and then did the same thing after work. Sure, I would have been easier to just sit on my ass and collect cash assistance as well, but I didn't- because I have work ethic as do many poor people.

You have no damn idea how much having to take government help made me feel like a failure as a human being and a mother. There were many times I was glared at, called 'lazy bitch' and made to feel like crap while paying for my food with foodstamps- and this was when they were actual paper, not a card so there was no hiding the fact I was using them.

This one time, I was paying for my groceries and included were a cake mix, frosting and ice cream to make a cake for my daughters birthday (she was right there with me) when this old lady behind me told me- VERY loudly that I should be a contributing member of society, stop be so lazy, get a job and stop 'mooching off her tax dollars' and she then told me I had no right buying what I was because it wasn't 'real food'. I stood there crying, my daughter clinging to me looking up at me afraid, and even the cashier was looking at me like she felt sorry for me.

I had to stand in the cold and wait for a cab with my daughter asking me questions, both of us crying and me feeling even more humiliated then ever before.

Until you have been in my shoes, you have damn right to place asinine rules about what poor people HAVE to buy with your precious tax dollars because you have some superiority complex. What you should be feeling is warmth knowing you're helping out human being who are less fortunate in life than you are. Believe it or not, poor people understand that junk food is unhealthy but they too deserve a treat once in a while to give them some happiness. 

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
katzmeow726
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:18 AM
19 moms liked this

It won't do anything...most of the people who put down those on some form of PA are people who live inside a bubble, and who likely have no idea what it is like to be poor.  

december911
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:21 AM
4 moms liked this

I am sorry you had to deal with those things, but not everyone on government assistance is targeted imo. I think people get upset at those that brag about having everything given to them. I personally don't care what people buy. I don't want anyone judging what is in my cart for my lazy cooking days lol I just want drug testing done so that those that are taking advantage of the system won't be able to anymore...We were on government asssistance when I was a kid. No it isn't fun. It is embarrassing. But if I had to do it now, to feed my kids I would. Luckily I haven't had to...

 

katzmeow726
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:22 AM
2 moms liked this

LOL, you obviously haven't been in this group long, if you think that.

Quoting december911:

I am sorry you had to deal with those things, but not everyone on government assistance is targeted imo. I think people get upset at those that brag about having everything given to them. I personally don't care what people buy. I don't want anyone judging what is in my cart for my lazy cooking days lol I just want drug testing done so that those that are taking advantage of the system won't be able to anymore...We were on government asssistance when I was a kid. No it isn't fun. It is embarrassing. But if I had to do it now, to feed my kids I would. Luckily I haven't had to...



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romalove
by Roma on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:26 AM
6 moms liked this

There is a misconception by many that because there are a few people who abuse the system, everyone on the system must be abusing it.  Furthermore, most people are "choosing" to be on PA.

I feel lucky that I have the ability to take care of myself and not be on assistance.  I hate the idea that there are people, especially kids, in need, and I don't begrudge people getting help as they need it.

I do think everyone has a responsibility to need as little help as possible, and for the shortest time as possible, meaning they should be doing all in their power to get out of the system.

december911
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:30 AM

No I am not in this group. I just get on here from time to time. mainly when i have an issue, but sometimes just to be nosy lol

Quoting katzmeow726:

LOL, you obviously haven't been in this group long, if you think that.

Quoting december911:

I am sorry you had to deal with those things, but not everyone on government assistance is targeted imo. I think people get upset at those that brag about having everything given to them. I personally don't care what people buy. I don't want anyone judging what is in my cart for my lazy cooking days lol I just want drug testing done so that those that are taking advantage of the system won't be able to anymore...We were on government asssistance when I was a kid. No it isn't fun. It is embarrassing. But if I had to do it now, to feed my kids I would. Luckily I haven't had to...

 



sneffy014
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:36 AM
4 moms liked this

I really don't like to judge and I agree with the part about being in your shoes. The only thing I will say is PA of any kind was never meant to be a long term solution. It was designed to help people get back on their feet during tough times. I would speculate that many people don't know what living in extreme poverty means. Heck, I am NOT on food stamps and although money is very tight for me, I have never been truly poor where I have to decide between cake and actual nutritious food. The fact that your daughter may not be able to enjoy cake while on food stamps may be depressing to you, but there are truly people out there who have NO FOOD at all. There are homeless people still living in the United States and people who can't afford electricity or clothing. A piece of bread and glass of milk would be a delicacy to them. It's all about perspective. I don't begrudge anyone cake or sweets, even those on food stamps. Everyone has their own story. But if you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, clothing on your back and enough food stamps to buy the basics and keep your family from starving until things get better for you, then I would count your blessings. Look around, there is always someone much worse off than you.

ashleyrenee24
by Ashley on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:37 AM
9 moms liked this

I hate the misconception that people on welfare don't work.

Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:42 AM
8 moms liked this
After my mom & I left my abusive dad, my mom worked for a pittance at a private school & we got food stamps briefly, as well as Medicaid. It was humiliating. These were paper stamps & *everyone* seemed to judge. The disgusting plastic glasses frames were kept under the counter in a shoe box. I wore crochetted or Woolworths clothing. My toes still show the trauma of improper footwear. & she worked! The moment she put me in public school, they fired her, & she became a public school sub. I qualified for free, then reduced, lunches. Disgusting crap also! We took the busses to the store, the laundry mat, all the schools she subbed at, etc.

I wish *all* my tax dollars went to PA & public ed instead of war.
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ILive4This
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:49 AM
2 moms liked this

I can honestly say that I have never, ever noticed how people pay for their stuff.  I am a big believer in MYOB.  Being on CM has made me more aware..for instance, I didn't know there were "cards"...I thought food stamps, were actually stamps :-/   I am fortunate enough to have never been in the position to use them, but I would have to cut a bitch if anyone had the balls to say a word to me, if I did.  I have worked since 15 years old (with years off to raise my kids), and I am out there again, paying in. 

celticwych
by Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this

 So your saying "suck it up and get over feeling  the way you do because everyone has there own story"? REALLY?   Your pick and choose compassion for others is amazing.  The bottom line is the disrespect she endured from a stranger.  Apparently she isnt poor enough to earn respect.  IF she was overweight and someone said this same thing to her even though she paid cash......would you feel the same way?   I love it when people say "I dont begrudge" then they put there own little spin on not begrudging.  

Quoting sneffy014:

I really don't like to judge and I agree with the part about being in your shoes. The only thing I will say is PA of any kind was never meant to be a long term solution. It was designed to help people get back on their feet during tough times. I would speculate that many people don't know what living in extreme poverty means. Heck, I am NOT on food stamps and although money is very tight for me, I have never been truly poor where I have to decide between cake and actual nutritious food. The fact that your daughter may not be able to enjoy cake while on food stamps may be depressing to you, but there are truly people out there who have NO FOOD at all. There are homeless people still living in the United States and people who can't afford electricity or clothing. A piece of bread and glass of milk would be a delicacy to them. It's all about perspective. I don't begrudge anyone cake or sweets, even those on food stamps. Everyone has their own story. But if you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, clothing on your back and enough food stamps to buy the basics and keep your family from starving until things get better for you, then I would count your blessings. Look around, there is always someone much worse off than you.

 

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