I'm posting this here because I know that some will get ugly, but some will give advice that can help me. For those who know me, you know that I was the product of a rape, which led to an unfortunately abusive childhood, and the death of my mother at the hands of another. I had one adult, that I met as a teen, who selflessly sacrificed her time and energy to pull me out of a dark place and get my life together. She did every thing she could to ensure I didn't turn out another statistic. Because of this womans patience, encouragement and love, I didn't. She helped me believe in me. She'll always be one of the most important people in my life. Her generosity inspired me to try and reach out as well. I volunteer for a facility who houses kids that grew up in the same manner I did. During my time there I became close with a 17 year old girl, J. She just reminds me so much of me. I see her capability, the good in her, I see her hurt and what it's done. The girl is so intelligent. She dropped out of school at 15 and got her GED two months ago without cracking a book to study. She has so much going for her. Anyway, she turned 18 about six months ago and was sent on her way (you're legally an adult so the shelter won't support you any longer) but we've remained close and in contract. She immediately met a man (he's 40) and they moved in together. He's a real piece of shit. Been to jail, heavy drug use, and recently started abusing her. It kills me. I see her continuing the cycle. At first, she'd get defensive when I tried to point this out to her....all the typical responses. She refused to leave because she had no where to go. I would take her in, I really care about this girl, but I have a daughter to think about. I just can't expose her to this. Anyway, she called me this morning extremely upset....she's pregnant. He doesn't know. She's fearful for her life to tell him. She has no job, no money, nothing. She asked me if I'd take her to get an abortion and if I'd pay for it. I don't have a problem doing this. I don't want her or a potential child to live in that environment. Here comes the advice part....should I do this agreement with strings attached? I've found a few women's shelters that would help her get on her feet, they'd help with job placement and looking for low income housing. I've even found a cheap car I'd buy for her once she established her seriousness in leaving and was away from him for X amount of time. Or should I take her and not say anything? I feel like this is the time where she sees that she's allowing herself to be a victim and that it has to stop. Help!
on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:08 PM