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“Why Is It O.K. To Have a Child with Someone You Know Won’t Stick Around?”

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This question comes from a blogger whom I greatly admire and respect.  However, her audience is black women so I will not post her entire article here, since I am not trying to ask this question of any one race.

For anyone interested, the article can be read here:

http://familyscholars.org/2012/06/22/why-is-it-o-k-to-have-a-child-with-someone-you-know-wont-stick-around/comment-page-1/#comment-130508


by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
lga1965
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:34 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting eviesmom453:

Maybe they don't think being a single parent is a death sentence?

You are obsessed!

 well, hell, if she is obsessed, then so am I!

What the heck? Are we going to give high fives to women who have sex with idiots and don't care if they get pregnant and then become single moms? Yeah, that's the ticket.

jessilin0113
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:41 PM
4 moms liked this
Because I'm pro-choice in all things reproductive and it's not my business?
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kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:49 PM
3 moms liked this

Without reading the article, and addressing only the question in the title, I'd say that women have babies with men they know won't stick around because they don't care.  They are selfish, and want to have a baby.  They have no care for the future, and want instant gratification.

This is not pointed at any race whatsoever, and applies across the board.  Honestly, I think that it applies to any woman who purposefully has a baby out of wedlock with someone they haven't committed to.

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:51 PM
2 moms liked this

While I don't feel like giving accolades to women who have children with dead beats I don't think they're worth condemning, either.


mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:52 PM

Because we're fucking human. 

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:54 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting jessilin0113:

Because I'm pro-choice in all things reproductive and it's not my business?

The repercussion of other people reproducing in a way that is not 'responsible' and/or conducive to our society as a whole is the real topic IMO.

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Not high fives.  Just staying out of people's personal business.  Would it be better to lecture and pontificate?  Tell the kid he or she is doomed to failure, or that their mom is easy and their dad is a loser? What good will that do, to go back to the times when kids were made to feel outcast or raised in institutions?  That is ridiculous.  Also it's silly to assume the worst of every single mother.  I know plenty of iffy parents where both parents are there, creating havoc.

Why not just have the courtesy to treat them like any other person?

We usually agree on a lot, Iga, but on this one I am inclined to disagree with you.  I don't thing anything good ever came from judging people for their personal reproductive choices.  And of course once the kid is born, there is no good to be had in making them feel like an outcast.

Quoting lga1965:

 

Quoting eviesmom453:

Maybe they don't think being a single parent is a death sentence?

You are obsessed!

 well, hell, if she is obsessed, then so am I!

What the heck? Are we going to give high fives to women who have sex with idiots and don't care if they get pregnant and then become single moms? Yeah, that's the ticket.


lga1965
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:20 PM
4 moms liked this

 The plan is to EDUCATE girls when they are still young. before they get pregnant....lord help us...before the kid is born, not tell the mom  after the kids  are born that they messed up. Do you actually think I am advocating going around telling people after the fact, that they messed up by having a baby with an irresponsible guy? That's silly!

PREVENTION. DOn't be the kind of mom who says "don't worry, I'll help raise that sweet little baby for you if you get pregnant because we are a village" . Don't tell them its okay.  And don't just ignore everything and avoid having taks about sex and birth control. Too many people ignore that and they are too busy to talk or even  care.Tell them they just need to be a person, get education, not be sexually active unless they use birth control and don't shack up with just any lamebrain guy who is good in bed!

 Is that clear enough?

 Give them a sense of dignity and self respect and don't stop until they get it and understand it.

Quoting stacymomof2:

Not high fives.  Just staying out of people's personal business.  Would it be better to lecture and pontificate?  Tell the kid he or she is doomed to failure, or that their mom is easy and their dad is a loser? What good will that do, to go back to the times when kids were made to feel outcast or raised in institutions?  That is ridiculous.  Also it's silly to assume the worst of every single mother.  I know plenty of iffy parents where both parents are there, creating havoc.

Why not just have the courtesy to treat them like any other person?

We usually agree on a lot, Iga, but on this one I am inclined to disagree with you.  I don't thing anything good ever came from judging people for their personal reproductive choices.  And of course once the kid is born, there is no good to be had in making them feel like an outcast.

Quoting lga1965:

 

Quoting eviesmom453:

Maybe they don't think being a single parent is a death sentence?

You are obsessed!

 well, hell, if she is obsessed, then so am I!

What the heck? Are we going to give high fives to women who have sex with idiots and don't care if they get pregnant and then become single moms? Yeah, that's the ticket.


 

valhallaarwen
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:58 PM
1 mom liked this

IMO, a lot of stupid women regardless of race will get pregnant for a man who won't stick around.  All you have to do is watch Maury or any of the other shows.  Hell read the paper and see the guys who have multiple children that he won't take care of. This is not just a black woman problem. This is all folks.

glitterteaz
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:13 AM

Cause they want the kid not the man?

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