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"Because I Say So!" is enough of a reason to tell your children without any other explanation needed

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Poll

Question: "Because I say so" is enough tell your children without any other explanation needed

Options:

Agree

Disagree

Depends


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 156

View Results

Agree or Disagree?

Discuss....

Naughty Wittle Puppy

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Replies (41-50):
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:22 AM

I have done it.  There are times when my reason doesn't matter, just do as I say, no explanation needed.


LindaClement
by Thatwoman on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:39 AM

I don't think so.

First, because whatever feels like an emergency in the head of the adult making the demands is almost always actually a delusion --which they can keep to themselves instead of coercing other people to play along.

Second, because it doesn't actually take longer to say 'I need you to do this because ________' and supply a rational explanation (supposing there actually is one that isn't 'because I don't feel like it.')

Third, because it is not respectful, period (or it would be fine for husbands, bosses and YOUR mother to demand compliance on the same grounds.)

Fourth, because it simply isn't any more likely to work, and parents driving themselves crazy with unrealisitic expecations, petty and selfish demands, and contrived nonsense about what 'matters' in the world just adds to a family's dysfunction, it doesn't cure it.

It FEELS like, if they would JUST DO IT, the whole world would be an easier place to live in. That feeling is a fallacy, not a fact. Even if they did JUST DO IT, the world would be just as hard to live in tomorrow as it is today --for everyone.

SEEKEROFSHELLS
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:51 AM
2 moms liked this

 You forgot when parents say," someday you with thank me!"  Or " you will shoot your eye out"!  

Quoting Woodbabe:\

If you have the time or the mood to explain, that's one thing. As the parent you ARE the ultimate authority and if you find yourself in a situation where this is needed, it should be expected to be obeyed. I always tried to explain later if/when I could.

There are just some things parents get to say, to include things like "Its none of your business" and "Because I said so!".


Meadowchik
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:28 AM

 For me, I say it only sparingly on time-sensitive matters, then explain as much as possible when time permits.  I can't remember the last time I used that.  However often enough I say, "that's it, no more, the decision is made....ect" when we've already exhausted the subject and repeated all points, or in other words it's evolved into whining mode rather than actual discussion.

romalove
by Roma on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:07 AM
2 moms liked this

Depends.

Depends on the age of the child.

Depends on what the issue is.

"Because I said so" is a demand for respect.  I am your authority, so if I say it, it goes.  You don't have to know why, you only have to know that me, the authority, has deemed it to be this way.

For smaller kids who may not grasp why you want something a certain way, or for those times when you really want to exert authority, this works.

For older kids and for times when expressing the "why" is important, this won't work.

Don't touch the stove, why, because it's hot.  You WANT them to know the why.

In general, mostly giving reason is a good way to go so kids understand there is thought process behind what we tell them, and also so they can navigate with more information.

At times, just because I said so is important in a world where kids challenge everything and will use your explanations as an entree to arguing everything with you.

Simmeringhearts
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:11 AM

It really depends on the situation. But, in the end, I am their mother and do not need to explain myself.

Tara922c
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:19 AM

Depends. If I ask (tell) my dd to clean her room and she responds with "Why?" I am more than likely going to say, "Because I said so, go clean your room now." My dd is not an idiot and knows that she needs to clean her room because it is messy, and it is her responsibility to keep it clean. If I ask her to do something out of the norm, of course (unless it is an emergency) I explain to my dd why. I try to explain as I am asking dd to do something, "Rylee, you need to go pick up your room, it is messy and it is almost bedtime," which usually prevents dd from asking "why".

 I always, no matter what, explain to dd why she is being punished as well.

 

FrogSalad
by Sooze on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:32 AM
It depends. I will explain my reasoning to a point but my son will try to turn it into a negotiation session.
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NWP
by guerrilla girl on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Or my favorite "You will understand when you are older"

and "Just wait until you have your own kids"

LOL

Quoting SEEKEROFSHELLS:

 You forgot when parents say," someday you with thank me!"  Or " you will shoot your eye out"!  

Quoting Woodbabe:\

If you have the time or the mood to explain, that's one thing. As the parent you ARE the ultimate authority and if you find yourself in a situation where this is needed, it should be expected to be obeyed. I always tried to explain later if/when I could.

There are just some things parents get to say, to include things like "Its none of your business" and "Because I said so!".



Naughty Wittle Puppy

Proud2BWeird
by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:43 AM
1 mom liked this
There are times when the child just needs to do what you tell them, no questions asked, period.

While I agree that they need to have reasoning explained to them, there's a time and a place. If the situation allows me the time to explain, then I'll do so. If it doesn't I'll explain the "why's" when I can.

So, I voted "depends".
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