I probably should have moved out of this neighborhood a year ago when I planned to. I probably should have called the police when my neighbor's son busted out our front screendoor while trying to hit my nieces with a baseball. I probably should have called the police the second, third, or fourth time I caught him throwing trash into our yard when he mowed his lawn. I definitely should have called the police when he was shooting a crossbow in the backyard (we live in the city where houses are between 5 and 15 feet apart), or when he threatened my little sister's friend with a gun. I did not. And now I'm going to be the criminal. My crime? I drove through an 8x4 ft section of his yard while trying to get out of my driveway this morning after my sister had blocked me in with her van. I realize I was wrong, but...wow. I was in a hurry, and waking up my sister, waiting for her to get dressed, get downstairs, move the van, etc would have put me way behind, so I chanced it, knowing I would have left behind no damage, no sign that I had gone through that tiny patch of yard, considering the ground is completely frozen. He videotaped me, and says he's calling the cops.
I'm ruined. I'm going to have a police record over a patch of grass you can't even tell I touched.
I just wish I had never left California. I wish I had never moved back to Ohio. It has been one disaster after another since I did, and now this. I just want to be left alone. I've lived in this house for nearly 3 years, and I've never even met this guy because I leave the house only on business. I'm quiet and I keep to myself. I'm so tired of this. I really just want to move back to California, where my neighbors were friendly and wouldn't have stroked out over my truck touching their lawn.
Now please, someone bash me and make me feel worse than I already do. Because believe me, I realize I'm guilty, I just can't believe this guy is actually going to call the police over it. Scold me and tell me I'm a bad person, that you would have called the cops too. Let me know just how many jerks there are in this country.
"Roger that. Over."
R A D I O H E I D