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{{Update}} I spoke to his dad today. I'm still mad about it. How do you think you would have reacted?

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:27 PM
  • 110 Replies

1-10-13 update

I talked to Connor's dad today. He dropped him off this morning. Apparently he's been pressing his wife to call me. He apologized for what took place that day. He asked if we could have a play-date with Connor soon. I insisted that he play at our house. Connor's dad said that he hoped our daughter would be able to come to their house soon. I think I might be open to the idea.

original post below

My daughter wanted to play with her friend after pre-school today. I dropped her off after I had a chance to talk with the little boys mom. I wanted to pick DD up about 45 minutes early because I didn't want to have to go back out. I called their house, no answer. I called mom's cell, no answer. I considered that they were likely outside because it snowed last night and all they had talked about all day was the snow.

When I arrived at their house I called again, still no answer. I knocked on the door. I could hear the kids running around, I even heard them stop moving and start playing again so I rang the bell. No answer. I was getting ticked off.

I called, and called and called. Ten minutes passed so I went to the car. I just sat there. I wasn't sure at this point what to do so I waited about 5 more minutes before calling again. Still no answer. I started to panic. I was about to call my husband when I saw the mom's car pull into the drive way. She got out, alone and walked into her house. I walked up to the door and rang the bell and she immediately answered. I explained I was there to pick up my daughter early so I didn't have to come out again ad that DS was asleep I the car. She went on to say how much of a joy my DD was and that they'd baked cookies and painted.

She looked at me and I must have had the most horrendous look on my face because she asked me what was wrong. I asked her why she thought it was okay to leave my DD alone with her son and her 12 year old daughter. She looked stunned. DID SHE NOT SEE MY CAR ACROSS THE STREET?

_)(*&^%$#$%^&$E%^&%$#$%W#$%W#$%

She said she had to go to the post office and had only been gone 5 minutes.

I.LOST.MY.MIND!

I took at least 2 deep breaths before I told her that I had been there for 20+ minutes. She told me I must be mistaken. I shook my head I got my kid and we left.

She called me just a few moments ago and told me that I completely over reacted and that her daughter, who turned 12 in October, was incredibly capable of watching the kids. I hung up on her because I was scared I was going to curse her out in every language I speak fluent 'fuck you' in.

What I want to say to her is that it was inappropriate for her to assume that the decision to leave my daughter in the care of a 12 year old was hers. IT WAS MINE. Quite honestly, had she called and asked I would have happily picked my daughter up, and her son and brought them to my house. I don't approve of the 12 year old babysitting.

Judge me!

What would you do in this situation?

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Paperfishies
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:31 PM
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I would have done the same. I would also never allow my child over there again. That is absolutely irresponsible of her. Honestly once I heard the kids inside playing and no one answered my calls or the door, I would have called the police.
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crazymommy30
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:33 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't think I would have handled it as well as you did. I have severe anxiety and probably would have attempted to break into the house so I could get my kid. I find it very impressive you were able to not slap that woman.

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:33 PM


Quoting Paperfishies:

I would have done the same. I would also never allow my child over there again. That is absolutely irresponsible of her. Honestly once I heard the kids inside playing and no one answered my calls or the door, I would have called the police.

I was so scared something happened that I almost did. Also, that 12 year old most likely didn't have my cell or home phone number

krysstizzle
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:33 PM

No judginess here. Pretty appropriate response, imo.

katy_kay08
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:34 PM

I would have been angry as well.  I don't blame you one bit for being upset.  That had to be quite frightening when you could hear the kids and no one answered.  

romalove
by Roma on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:34 PM
2 moms liked this

So she left your kid with a 12 year old without telling/asking you and then lied to you about having done that at all and then said you overreacted when you were upset?

She sounds like a winner.  I'd never be involved with playdates with her.

Aivlys_
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I think it is wrong that she left the kids with a 12 year old... But I also wouldn't leave my preschooler with a friend from school because she wanted to play! I would have been right there! :/
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TranquilMind
by Platinum Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM
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You are correct.  She had no business leaving younger kids with her daughter without the permission of the parents.  This is just a no-brainer.  You don't do it. 

And she then LIED to your face about being gone for only 5 minutes. 

Not a safe place to visit.

queenanne
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:38 PM

 I would have lost my shit.

I actually did when my youngest was even older than your little one. I think she may have been 6 or 8 even. Anyway, she was at the childcare provider's house. Unbeknownst to me, the childcare provider had a "helper" who was a teenager. The childcare provider regularly left the kids in the care of that teenager. I had no idea until my daughter told me that she and her friend pretty much took care of the baby the whole time. I was like...wtf? I asked her why and she told me that the provider had gone to "check the mail" and was gone a long, long time. Long enough that my daughter and her friend actually had to change the baby's diaper!!!!

Yeah...not cool.

I cannot even imagine thinking it would be okay to leave my preschooler's friend with my older child. You were absolutely appropriate in your reaction to this.

 

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:39 PM


Quoting Aivlys_:

I think it is wrong that she left the kids with a 12 year old... But I also wouldn't leave my preschooler with a friend from school because she wanted to play! I would have been right there! :/

I had no reason to expect her to act so foolishly

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