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Spin off, whould you want/need to know?

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:01 PM
  • 23 Replies

If your husband/SO had an affair would you want to know?

I was very surprised at all the people who would not tell if they had an affair.  Would they want to be told?

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
futureshock
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:33 PM

I don't know.

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 A one time indiscretion. No. An affair. Yes.

katy_kay08
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:42 PM
2 moms liked this

If my husband ended it and I was completely oblivious to the fact that it had taken place I would not want him to tell me.    

Ziva65
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:42 PM

Good question. I am in the category of telling. While I'd be forgiving, I'd probably toss him out. Deal breaker- even if a one time thing.

Another reason not to be financially reliant on someone.

rfurlongg
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:43 PM
If the affair was a one time thing and completely over, I'd rather not know.
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Nighttiger
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I would rather know. As difficult as it would be to hear, I don' t want a relationship with secrets. Further, I can't imagine what it would do to the personality of anyone to have to know they are lying to, or withholding information from their spouse like that. And If information ended up getting out at a later date, the longer DH held it, the less likely I think I would be to forgive because in my eyes he has then lied to me for 2, 5, 10, 15 years instead of being open and honest.

LIMom1105
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:52 PM

If it was a one-time thing and that was it, I honestly don't know if I would want to know. People do make mistakes, and we've had our rough patches like any marriage (doesn't make it right, but it could happen to anyone).  I would want him to talk about whatever he was unhappy about with me so we could work on that together.

If he had multiple affairs or he had a long time affair, yes I would want to know. That would be more significant to me.

ReadWriteLuv
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Same

Quoting TruthSeeker.:

 A one time indiscretion. No. An affair. Yes.

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Mom2Phoenix2011
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:54 PM

 I would want to know, the reason being for me is there is obviously something not being met in our marriage, whether it is emotional, physical or mental. Hubby and I discussed this from the start and these are my rules number 1 it had better not happen in my bed/house, 2 he needs to tell me before I find out, 3 we need to discuss the reason behind it and if it is something we can work through we will if not we will go our separate ways and wish each other the best, 4 the woman he had an affair with better know that she is not nor will she ever replace me as mommy. All she was is a hole my husband fell into now any other woman after her I am willing to co parent with. He is still the father of my children and if for any reason we can not live together I can be disgusted by his choices and actions as a husband but as a father to my child I will still be respectful no matter what happens.

Stevie, I am the proud mom of Phoenix, and the proud wife of Boston My OTR Trucker.  

Peaceful.chaos
by Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 12:55 PM
I'd want to know if someone betrayed me. It's unforgivable to me.
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