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OH student wins stalking order against extreme helicopter parents

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:22 PM
  • 117 Replies

Ohio Student Wins Stalking Order Against Extreme Helicopter Parents

PHOTO: Aubrey Ireland filed a civil stalking order against her parents.

A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.

Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.

"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.

The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.

They also accused their daughter of promiscuity, doing drugs, and having mental issues to the point where they were considering going to court to order that she get treatment.

"My mom has always been very overly involved," Ireland said. "I would have to get on Skype all the time to show them that I was in my dorm room, or there were nights I had to leave my Skype on all night and my mom would watch me basically sleep."

She claims her parents, David and Julie Ireland, have been diagnosed with co-dependency disorder. Her parents, however, say their daughter is just a good actor, and is lying. They said she is "an only child who has been catered to all her life."

Because Aubrey has cut all ties with them in a very public way, they now want a refund of the $66,000 they've already paid toward her education.

"We're not bothering her," Julie Ireland said. "We're not a problem."

But Aubrey said that taking the issue to court was a last resort.

"I never wanted this to happen, that's the last thing I wanted," she said. "But I wasn't in control of my life at all anymore. I knew that they were holding me back emotionally, mentally, and professionally and that it got to the point where that was basically my last option.

Psychologists say boundaries can be tricky for parents with college-age children.

"I have no idea whether she is mentally ill, nor if the parents have any problems that may lead to the type of behavior that is described," Dr. Gail Wyatt told ABC News.

"What do you do when a person is 21 and you're still concerned about the well being of your child? If your child has a mental health problem you are still responsible for that child, even though they are 21 years old or 25 years old."


Thoughts?


by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
katy_kay08
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I think they are odd, but I wonder if she still expects them to pay her way.
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muslimahpj
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:29 PM


Quoting katy_kay08:

I think they are odd, but I wonder if she still expects them to pay her way.

Yeah. I wonder if they are going to sue her for the money they have already put out, considering in the article they are saying they want reimbursed for it.

stormcris
by Christy on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:35 PM
10 moms liked this

Unless they specified the college payments were a loan and can prove it, they are SOL.


TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:38 PM

 Strange. All the way around. Sounds like they were overly controlling and she was afraid they would cut her off financially if she didn't let them control her life.

Sisteract
by Whoopie on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Dysfunction, all around-

JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:40 PM
3 moms liked this
Apparently, the parents ceased paying for her education and the school gave her a full boat scholarship so she could finish.
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autodidact
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:40 PM
5 moms liked this

paying for someone's college doesn't give you a right to micromanage their life and spy on them. her end of the deal is to work hard and do well, which it sounds as though she's doing. I could see them being absolved of further obligation to pay, but not to her owing a debt over past tuition because she won't comply with their neurosis. 

darlingdaisy
by on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 I don't know what to think.  Who gets a restraining order for her parents who are paying for her education? 

ausomezombie2.0
by Member on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Wow I just don't know
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Woodbabe
by Woodie on Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:51 PM
3 moms liked this

Since we don't have all the evidence of what's happened, I'm going to assume that the courts have heard the case and there was enough evidence to support this young lady's case. I'm glad her school is funding her senior year and I hope she gets the breathing room she needs.

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