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Dad drinks while Mom is Pregnant..Fair?

My husband I use to enjoy an adult beverage togther a few times a week..sometimes it was a happy hour drink or just a glass of wine with dinner. Now WE are pregnant and he doesnt understand that even though it may have been a stressful day at work for him and a glass of wine sounds great, I had the same amount of stess and can't have the relaxing glass of wine. I've metioned this to him and it didnt get a great response. Suggestions on explaing why this isn't fair? Or should I just drop it? 

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Replies (141-150):
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Very true don't allow it bother you

Quoting OHgirlinCA:

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't expect my husband to give up alcohol simply because I was pregnant. The thought didn't cross my mind, and it didn't bother me either.

by Angie on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM

Drop it.  One of the perks of being a woman is the awesome privilege of giving life.  Let him have his beer, and damn you for being more awesome.

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM
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 Whoever told you life was fair was lying to you.    

by anxiouss on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:29 PM
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I'm not in this pregnancy alone.  We both played equal parts in me getting here so why wouldn't he participate in the restrictions that I have? 

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:33 PM

Didn't bother me. In fact, I insisted alcohol be served at my baby shower. I wanted to be pregnant and knew I couldn't drink. I was OK with it. I did not expect dh to go without. I do, however, understand your point.

by New Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:52 PM

I mean that's kind of here and there... When we first found out that we are prgenant I told my SO that he wasn't allowed to drink when we went to a specific party because I was still in that "its not fair stage"  but now that I am more used to being pregnant and not so upset about not drinking- because I KNOW its worth it, he still doesn't drink and I have even encourgaged him to drink-(example new years).  I think that if you don't want him to drink you should explain to him that it's his child as much as yours and you BOTH made the baby and will BOTH raise the baby and thus, you would like some support by way of him either not drinking at all or at least not in front of you, as it makes it more difficult for you not to. 

On the flip side... it does seem a little unfair to me that because I'm carrying a baby my SO shouldn't drink at all- there are no complications from dad drinking after one is already pregnant. 

You could always get some sparkiling cider or non alcoholich beer or something similar and drink it while he is drinking his glass of wine or whatnot to allow you to unwind together, just yours without alcohol.

Whatever you decide good luck and try to enjoy eachother because pretty soon you will both be so consumed with the new baby you won't have anytime to enjoy eachother.  (Cangrats by the way)

by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:31 PM

what is wrong with sparkling juice it is the motion that is relaxing and the conversation

by Robin on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Drop it.  Even though you say WE are pregnant, you are...he isn't.   If he has to do everything you do or don't do, maybe he should have the next internal exam at the gyn ;-)

by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:37 PM
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Wow... nearly 150 replies and about 140 of them are saying to drop it! I think that's a record!

You can always relax with something ELSE. My husband likes his Grand Marnier but isn't allowed it anymore because of his medications, and he's on them for the rest of his life. But he doesn't see that as a reason to tell me I cannot have a glass of wine when I want one. He'll relax with a hot chocolate or a ginger ale instead.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Ideally this is the kind of issue that I think should be discussed before conception, along with all kinds of other corollary issues that might affect how you handle things both before, during, and after the pregnancy. We established guidelines to help us deal with what was happening but even if you haven't done that to this point maybe this is a good time to consider it. Let him know how you feel and what you'd like him to do and offer the whys of how you feel.

In the meantime may I suggest that you join him in the Happy Hour with a lovely glass of grape juice or sparkling grape juice. Good luck I hope you use this situation as an opportunity to learn to work together to solve disagreements since I've found that such disagreements do pop up from time to time in dealing with issues related to parenting and marriage in relationship to parenting.

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