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Is it time to marry yourself?

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:41 PM
  • 17 Replies

Is It Time To Marry Yourself?

Once upon a time, I believed that all aspects of my life would fall into place if I committed myself topersonal growth

I spent a lot of money on workshops and courses. I thought it was just a matter of time until my life would transform. 

I learned a lot about myself, gained great insights and spiritual wisdom. I also prayed. Prayer definitely brought me more serenity. Yet it still wasn’t bringing me I wanted on a more basic level.

I wanted an ideal relationship full of love and support.

I wanted to make my seemingly elusive income goals.

I wanted to pay off my student loan debt.

And then I had a surprising dream. It was the scene from the movie Sex and the City in which Carrie gets stood up at the wedding by Mr. Big. Instead of being helpless, Carrie and her friends empowered themselves by carrying out the marriage ceremony and they all married themselves.

Influenced by Carl Jung and my years of studying psychology, I knew that this dream had a meaning for me.

I was meant to marry myself.

So at the age of 37, I had a heartfelt, private ceremony by a beautiful waterfall in the woods in Big Sur, at Esalen, California and married myself.

I wrote Soul Vows and committed to living my heart’s deepest desires whether I got what I wanted or not.

I committed to never abandoning myself in relationships again.

I committed to honoring my soul’s calling.

I committed to loving myself always and in all ways.

After my marriage, I felt an energetic shift. I decided to let go of the vision I had for my life and have faith. I decided that I would be happy whether or not I ever was legally married. I let go of the elusive income goals and focused on enjoying my work. I decided that loving myself would be my new number one priority.

Once I surrendered the vision of my life and made a commitment to myself, everything transformed. A new clarity emerged, and to my astonishment, in the following eight months everything has changed. I started to live "happily ever now" instead of happily ever after.

My soulmate came suddenly, and miraculously, into my life and I am now in a loving and supportive relationship. My work has soared in new and unexpected ways bringing me closer to my income goals. This month was my highest earning month ever, and I have a feeling of control over my student loan debt.

I do know that the energy behind my Soul Vows and saying “I do” to self-love had everything to do with creating a new foundation for my life. I have to admit that I didn’t follow my vows perfectly all the time, but they have become my True North Star, guiding my decisions and every aspect of my life.

And to bring the story full circle, last week my beloved, surprised me proposing to me at the spot in Big Sur where I married myself. 

The lesson I learned is that saying “I do” to my soul’s calling unveils the magic of wholehearted living and attracts a life beyond one’s wildest dreams.

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Published January 2, 2013 at 2:34 PM
About Tarra Christoff 

Tarra Christoff, MA, is dedicated to helping women create meaningful and soul-satisfying work that transforms our world. She is the creator of The Inspired Work Teleclass Program, a coaching journey for women ready to embrace a holistic approach to career transformation. Tarra personally experienced the power of marrying herself and it was a life-changing experience that she feels called to share with other women at retreats around the globe. To learn more, visit, or on facebook at

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:44 PM
3 moms liked this

I would so marry myself if polygamy wasn't illegal.  

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:52 PM

kinda off topic.... but that reminded me of Sue Sylvesters wedding in Glee.

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:54 PM

On a more serious note, everyone has a different paths to happiness. I am glad she found hers. 

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:01 PM

 Nice . I am not that dramatic or mystical but I can see her point.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:04 PM
4 moms liked this

If I married myself it would probably just end in a really messy divorce.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:14 PM

Uh.....STUPID.  Self-serving.  And all about getting attention (can you say "Kardashian"??)

by Teflon Don on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:02 PM


by Sevrsaxhtharxxa on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:04 PM
1 mom liked this

sadly, same sex marriage is not yet legal every where.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Isn't the universe wonderful.

by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:06 PM
If people can marry themselves

......Then what's to stop them from marrying a horse?
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