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What CAN be done about this? "Slut Shaming" A New Level of Cyberbullying For Girls

Posted by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 95 Replies

Online 'Shaming' A New Level Of Cyberbullying For Girls


Editor's note: The audio version of this story contains some sexually graphic descriptions.

Sixteen-year-old Rookie Reporter Temitayo Fagbenle says at her school girls are often the victims of "slut shaming," having explicit photos and videos of themselves posted online and shared with their peers.

Joerg Koch/AP

Many teenagers are living half their lives on social media sites, and they're writing the rules as they go. One online trend 16-year-old Temitayo Fagbenle finds disturbing is something she calls "slut shaming" — using photos and videos to turn a girl's private life inside out. Temitayo reported this story as part of the Radio Rookies program at member station WNYC.

In the Puritan times of the 17th century, shaming women as in Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter for their wanton acts was a whole town effort.

Today, this so-called slut shaming has a new tool. Instead of the town square, some people now turn to social media sites to share explicit photos and videos to shame these women and girls among their peers.

Live Discussion

Radio Rookies will hold an in-class live chat on Jan. 8, from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. EST, with students from classrooms around the country, to talk about the cyberbullying issues Temitayo's story brings up.

To take part in the conversation, students will need to have Internet access. Temitayo, the reporter, will host the chat with Radio Rookies producers facilitating the discussion and moderating comments.

Radio Rookies Live Chat — Jan. 8, 1 p.m.-2 p.m. EST

A recent Facebook posting I saw had a picture of a half-naked girl, lying on bed. The boy who posted it tagged the picture so that everyone could see it and go to the girl's page. Within less than an hour, the photo had about 443 likes and 261 comments. Comments like "your life is officially shot LMAO," and "I think she gonna cut her veins when she see this."

People post these pictures and videos and make "smut lists" for their neighborhood or school.

The boy who put up the picture posted a status update saying he received 2,000 friend requests because of the photo; and things like this are a regular occurrence at my school.

Two years ago, when I was in ninth grade, a girl in my class faced a similar situation. Her boyfriend put an intimate video of them up on the Internet, and suddenly everyone was talking about it. "He was going around holding his head high," the girl says. "He gave me a bad name.

Talking to a group of girls at my school about this online slut shaming, some of them say they often feel the need to shame other girls for their improper behavior. "They do it to themselves," one girls says. "Half the time we can't even blame the guys."

They do say, however, that it's not always the girl's fault and that often the girls are photographed and recorded without knowing. "That's not fair that a guy can actually hide his phone, have sex with you and record you, and then show it to his friends," one girl says.

When I was talking to the girl this happened to, she said she didn't know she was being recorded. "I kind of had a feeling that something was wrong, but I didn't want to believe it," she says.

At school, she was hoping that it wouldn't be too big of a deal, but even the principal knew about the video. He brought her to his office and called her mom.

"I couldn't even look at my mother because I felt hurt and I also felt that I disrespected her," she says. "I didn't want kids in the school to look at my mother and be like, 'Wow, she raised nothing.' "

I see girls get exposed like this on my Facebook newsfeed almost every day.

As for the schools, they have had to take on a new role. Some students take screenshots of the cyberbullying they see online, print them out and bring it to their teachers as evidence.

In cases where somebody might put up a sexually explicit video, Erica Doyle, the assistant principal at my school, says school officials absolutely contact the authorities. "Because once we're dealing with digital media that is sexually explicit [and] that has been captured and shared with the public, that actually now is a criminal matter," Doyle says.

Teenagers today aren't necessarily crueler than they were in the 1600s. It's just that now when we chastise each other, everybody who has access to the Internet can see it. And once that picture or video is out, you can't be completely safe in your mind that the past won't creep up on you at some random time.

This is the new scarlet letter.

Naughty Wittle Puppy

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by TC on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:35 PM
WTH! That is terrible! It seems like kids can't trust each other these days.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:38 PM

Quoting NWP:

Here is the link because my posts are looking funny/not working right.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:41 PM
15 moms liked this

I love this comment from the link:

Cerridwen Johnson 3 hours ago

Where is the "and then the boys were arrested for illegal wiretapping and dissemination of child pornography" part of the story? "After their convictions, their friends didn't think it was so funny, and the boys didn't hold their heads up when they had to register as a sex offender" would stop this from happening quick.

by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:46 PM
2 moms liked this
It seems to me slut shaming has been around forever, and sadly we have a long way to go in this area. The best I can try to do with my girl is to teach her to not give them fuel ( no pics or videos she wouldn't want the whole school to see), be cautious of who she trusts, don't treat other people that way, and rise above those who would.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:52 PM
5 moms liked this

Here a few girls pulled that kind of shit. They sat in juvenile hall with no release till the judge felt like setting their bail. They spent the whole summer in jail simply waiting for the judge to see them or set their bail. They were arrested and held. The parents went nuts to the paper and everything. I just laughed and said maybe they will learn their lesson. 

by guerrilla girl on Jan. 7, 2013 at 11:05 PM
I managed to fix it. Sometimes my toolbox doesn't load and my posts look strange. Must be a Mac thing. Thanks for making the link interactive.
Quoting futureshock:

Quoting NWP:

Here is the link because my posts are looking funny/not working right.

Naughty Wittle Puppy

by Ruby Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM

This is horrible.  I don't know what you can do about it.  I mean if the parents aren't overseeing this kind of thing, and teaching their boys that they can't post this type of thing, and teach their girls never to participate in slut shaming, what can you do?

by Silver Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately, there is no way to stop it, that I can see, unless these kids learn to stop creating opportunities for it to happen.  

by guerrilla girl on Jan. 7, 2013 at 11:24 PM

I am the mom of two very young girls and I am feeling helpless

by Platinum Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 11:24 PM
2 moms liked this

 Ladies, teach your daughters NOTHING on camera. NOTHING. You want to teach them, birth control. Maybe some are teaching to abstain. We all teach not to do it but teach birth control too. Now teach your daughters about cameras and the boy that promises I will love you forever! Damn it was easier in the 70's! LOL

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