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Ok, someone bumped some old posts of mine that were questions (spin offs at the time if I remember correctly) in order to help some understand what it is like to be transgender. However, I thought I would do one better and do a Q&A. Ask me anything and I will do my best to answer it. I am transgender and am married to a transgender individual. I am female to male and my wife is male to female. We have been out for over 2 years now. 

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Replies (41-50):
LavenderMom23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:08 PM

Transgender = Confused

purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM
jaxTheMomm
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Why, are you confused?

The OP doesn't seem confused at all.

I admit that personal pronouns may be a bit confusing at first (I'm guessing I should be referring to Purpleducky as 'he'), but that's all easily sorted out.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

Transgender = Confused


jaxTheMomm
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:15 PM

Kids are amazing.  As long as they are getting love, support and discipline, the rest is a-ok by them and normal is what you make it.

I'm sure you'll hit bumps in the road as they get older (wait for your first "I hate you!" fest, that's sure to be a doozy for you both!) but in the end they are all just the same amazing little creatures.

Quoting purpleducky:

Well our insurance covers a lot. Therapy sessions are only $30 for us. My wife's hormones are $5 a month. My hormones are $10 a month. Top surgery for me will be around $5000. Bottom surgeries range from $20,000-$30,000 and insurance will not cover any of that right now (Obamacare might change that).

And yes, when we are done, I think the physical results will match what we think. And right now we are basically emotionally "closed" on this since we are ourselves now. What we don't like about our bodies still we are working on changing.

My kids aren't really coping with it. This is normal to them for people to just be themselves. And their friends' parents are CIS (comfortable in skin, i.e. "normal" people) but our kids just see them as being themselves.

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Kudos to you both for having the strength to be who you are.

How expensive does this all get (treatment, hormones, therapy, surgery one day, etc) for you both?  How do you cover these costs?

Once you are both done with your journeys, do you expect that the physical results will match what you think?  Do you believe you will get some finality, some closure, or is that more of a therapy related issue?  Or are you there emotionally already?

How are your kids coping, or has a difference between your family and those of their friends even registered with them?



LavenderMom23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:15 PM

You are what you are and trying to change your physical body into something else or dress to appear anything else is pure confusion. Why can't people just love themselves? No operation, no change of dress is going to make a person love themselves. 

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Why, are you confused?

The OP doesn't seem confused at all.

I admit that personal pronouns may be a bit confusing at first (I'm guessing I should be referring to Purpleducky as 'he'), but that's all easily sorted out.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

Transgender = Confused



purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:26 PM

We have actually been through that already.

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Kids are amazing.  As long as they are getting love, support and discipline, the rest is a-ok by them and normal is what you make it.

I'm sure you'll hit bumps in the road as they get older (wait for your first "I hate you!" fest, that's sure to be a doozy for you both!) but in the end they are all just the same amazing little creatures.

Quoting purpleducky:

Well our insurance covers a lot. Therapy sessions are only $30 for us. My wife's hormones are $5 a month. My hormones are $10 a month. Top surgery for me will be around $5000. Bottom surgeries range from $20,000-$30,000 and insurance will not cover any of that right now (Obamacare might change that).

And yes, when we are done, I think the physical results will match what we think. And right now we are basically emotionally "closed" on this since we are ourselves now. What we don't like about our bodies still we are working on changing.

My kids aren't really coping with it. This is normal to them for people to just be themselves. And their friends' parents are CIS (comfortable in skin, i.e. "normal" people) but our kids just see them as being themselves.

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Kudos to you both for having the strength to be who you are.

How expensive does this all get (treatment, hormones, therapy, surgery one day, etc) for you both?  How do you cover these costs?

Once you are both done with your journeys, do you expect that the physical results will match what you think?  Do you believe you will get some finality, some closure, or is that more of a therapy related issue?  Or are you there emotionally already?

How are your kids coping, or has a difference between your family and those of their friends even registered with them?




purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:27 PM

You have no clue what it is like to be a transgender individual. We have tried to love our physical selves. It is impossible. Our gender and sex do not match. Our brains are that of the gender that we identify as not the sex we were born as. Having starting hormones has made me happier than I have been ever before.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

You are what you are and trying to change your physical body into something else or dress to appear anything else is pure confusion. Why can't people just love themselves? No operation, no change of dress is going to make a person love themselves. 

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Why, are you confused?

The OP doesn't seem confused at all.

I admit that personal pronouns may be a bit confusing at first (I'm guessing I should be referring to Purpleducky as 'he'), but that's all easily sorted out.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

Transgender = Confused




tooptimistic
by Kelly on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:55 PM
3 moms liked this

Who says he doesn't love himself.

My son was born my daughter.  He loves himself very much and so do I.  :)  He isn't confused at all, he is a very articulate, educated, amazing young man. Looking back, he was always a he, his body just didn't match.  Presenting himself as a male and living as a male is my son's authentic self, and makes him happy.

Sorry to hijack your post PurpleDucky.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

You are what you are and trying to change your physical body into something else or dress to appear anything else is pure confusion. Why can't people just love themselves? No operation, no change of dress is going to make a person love themselves. 

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Why, are you confused?

The OP doesn't seem confused at all.

I admit that personal pronouns may be a bit confusing at first (I'm guessing I should be referring to Purpleducky as 'he'), but that's all easily sorted out.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

Transgender = Confused




Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:19 PM
I do now have a Q: do you think it is right that gender dysmorphia is still considered a mental illness? I don't think its right that sexual orientation has been removed for ages from the DSM (appropriately IMO) but being trans is still in the DSM. If insurance will pay for sex/gender reassignment surgery, then OK. But my understanding is that it usually won't. So it being in the DSM makes me upset.

As a queer psychotherapist myself, I have strong opinions about this kind of stuff. ;-)
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Bookwormy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:31 PM
This is wonderful! It is great when something does work out to allow self-love and happiness.


Quoting purpleducky:

You have no clue what it is like to be a transgender individual. We have tried to love our physical selves. It is impossible. Our gender and sex do not match. Our brains are that of the gender that we identify as not the sex we were born as. Having starting hormones has made me happier than I have been ever before.

Quoting LavenderMom23:

You are what you are and trying to change your physical body into something else or dress to appear anything else is pure confusion. Why can't people just love themselves? No operation, no change of dress is going to make a person love themselves. 

Quoting jaxTheMomm:

Why, are you confused?

The OP doesn't seem confused at all.

I admit that personal pronouns may be a bit confusing at first (I'm guessing I should be referring to Purpleducky as 'he'), but that's all easily sorted out.


Quoting LavenderMom23:

Transgender = Confused





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