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transgender - what's your opinion? (*EDIT IN BLUE*)

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this has nothing to do with me or my family personally but my husband and i just got into a huge fight over it. i accept everyone for who they are and what decisions they decide to make with their life and/or body. i don't believe anyone has the right to tell someone they can or can't do something to THEIR body. my husband is the complete opposite, he said people who are transgender are unnatural and wrong. he believes they should make it illegal to have a sex change. he even went as far as saying that if our daughter decided she wasn't happy as a girl and wanted to be a boy that he would disown her and walk out of her life. when i told him i would stick beside her and support her he told me "well then we would be over." my response: "fine, but i refuse to walk away from my child." he said I'M close minded and stupid for thinking that transgender people are ok but i personally think HE is the one that is close minded. anyway, my point to this post is to get everyone else's opinion on the subject.

so, what is your opinion?

*EDIT- i decided to change the subject title because i realized after several responses i did phrase it incorrectly, it's not an issue that you can be "for or against". so let me just simply ask, what is your opinion on the subject?*

please don't bash anyone else for their opinions, it is THEIR opinion.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Replies (121-130):
LilyofPhilly
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:08 AM
Unless the person has IBD or some other medical condition, I think the tactful thing to do is avoid restrooms when there isn't a single, unisex facility.

Quoting Phillymama123:

How would you know? Its stalls. Can you imagine how scary it would be to go in a men's rest room when you present as a woman. How cruel people might be?




Quoting erika9009:

I don't have any problem with it.

Where i draw the line is when a man wanting to be a woman (and dresses that way) insists on using the women's restroom.

If they still have the "guy parts", they need  to use the guy's restroom.

If they are "converted", I have a "square to spare"


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
toomanypoodles
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:40 PM

 

Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Would you feel this way about someone born without legs getting prosthetics, or a deaf person getting a implant to hear?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 It's not my business to judge anyone.  Biblically I am against it because I believe God created us to be what HE created us to be and I don't believe He made mistakes.


But if a person wants to change themselves it is their choice and of course there should be no law against it---other than God's law if you are inclined to follow His Word. 

 I just have to shake my head every time I get that question from one of you in here. 

Changing your sex is not the same as being born with a defect that can and should be corrected.  As I said, I don't think God makes mistakes so I don't believe man or woman should alter the sexual organs to be something they were not designed to be.  It's a choice to do that, getting a prosthetic limb if you're born without that limb is not a sin in the eyes of God.

As far as being born deaf, even Christ went around giving sight and hearing to the blind and deaf to those born that way.  I don't think He has a problem with that.  ;)

You're smarter than this sort of question, Lilly.

mrsjksimmons
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:43 PM

Your husband's a jerk. I think what someone else is under their clothes is none of my business. If they want a sex change, more power to 'em. That's my stance on gay people too. If that's what they are, more power to ya to live your life like you want.

kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:51 PM
That is completely unrealistic.

Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Unless the person has IBD or some other medical condition, I think the tactful thing to do is avoid restrooms when there isn't a single, unisex facility.



Quoting Phillymama123:

How would you know? Its stalls. Can you imagine how scary it would be to go in a men's rest room when you present as a woman. How cruel people might be?






Quoting erika9009:

I don't have any problem with it.

Where i draw the line is when a man wanting to be a woman (and dresses that way) insists on using the women's restroom.

If they still have the "guy parts", they need  to use the guy's restroom.

If they are "converted", I have a "square to spare"


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this
But these people do feel as if they've been born with a defect... the wrong set of genitals. So why shouldn't they be able to fix their defect?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Would you feel this way about someone born without legs getting prosthetics, or a deaf person getting a implant to hear?


Quoting toomanypoodles:


 It's not my business to judge anyone.  Biblically I am against it because I believe God created us to be what HE created us to be and I don't believe He made mistakes.



But if a person wants to change themselves it is their choice and of course there should be no law against it---other than God's law if you are inclined to follow His Word. 


 I just have to shake my head every time I get that question from one of you in here. 


Changing your sex is not the same as being born with a defect that can and should be corrected.  As I said, I don't think God makes mistakes so I don't believe man or woman should alter the sexual organs to be something they were not designed to be.  It's a choice to do that, getting a prosthetic limb if you're born without that limb is not a sin in the eyes of God.


As far as being born deaf, even Christ went around giving sight and hearing to the blind and deaf to those born that way.  I don't think He has a problem with that.  ;)


You're smarter than this sort of question, Lilly.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Bonita131
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 6:56 PM

If your husband was my husband, I'd seriously be thinking of leaving him. Any father that will actually say he would disown his child for any reason, is not fit to be a father, nor is he fit to be a husband.

purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:35 PM


Quoting toomanypoodles:

 

Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Would you feel this way about someone born without legs getting prosthetics, or a deaf person getting a implant to hear?

Quoting toomanypoodles:

 It's not my business to judge anyone.  Biblically I am against it because I believe God created us to be what HE created us to be and I don't believe He made mistakes.


But if a person wants to change themselves it is their choice and of course there should be no law against it---other than God's law if you are inclined to follow His Word. 

 I just have to shake my head every time I get that question from one of you in here. 

Changing your sex is not the same as being born with a defect that can and should be corrected.  As I said, I don't think God makes mistakes so I don't believe man or woman should alter the sexual organs to be something they were not designed to be.  It's a choice to do that, getting a prosthetic limb if you're born without that limb is not a sin in the eyes of God.

As far as being born deaf, even Christ went around giving sight and hearing to the blind and deaf to those born that way.  I don't think He has a problem with that.  ;)

You're smarter than this sort of question, Lilly.

It is a legitimate question. No one is saying God made a mistake. However, there is scientific proof that transgender people do not resemble the sex they were assigned at birth in regards to brain structures. 

Phillymama123
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:37 PM
#1 random but I too am from Philly and my Dd is Lily.

#2 I disagree. Because thanks to stalls you would never know. Why should someone have to hold it on a long drive, drink nothing when out to dinner, etc. Because others are scared of something you otherwise wouldn't know. Accessible restrooms are a privilege we don't recognize.


Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Unless the person has IBD or some other medical condition, I think the tactful thing to do is avoid restrooms when there isn't a single, unisex facility.



Quoting Phillymama123:

How would you know? Its stalls. Can you imagine how scary it would be to go in a men's rest room when you present as a woman. How cruel people might be?






Quoting erika9009:

I don't have any problem with it.

Where i draw the line is when a man wanting to be a woman (and dresses that way) insists on using the women's restroom.

If they still have the "guy parts", they need  to use the guy's restroom.

If they are "converted", I have a "square to spare"



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Phillymama123
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 7:39 PM
Agreed. But until all facilities have them...use the bathroom of your perceived gender. Hurts no one.


Quoting Bella_Madre:

Generally we advocate for this by advocating for "family restrooms" in buildings, in which only one person or "family" can go in at a time. 

Quoting Phillymama123:

Your husband sounds like a very level headed man. But honestly if a woman went in the women's room and used a stall there is no way to tell if they have a penis or not. If there is that is a separate issue. Not all men are your husband. If she is dressed normally...lets say jeans boots sweater with a feminine haircut then that will stand out as opposed to a flamboyant dress implying a joke, drag queen, etc. People are cruel. In a men's room there is opportunity to see someones parts. I agree about the unisex bathroom. How do we demand all facilities provide them? How do we as humans make all spaces safe for everyone. Certainly not by insisting a woman use a men's room just because her genitals don't match how she presents when you would otherwise never know.





Quoting erika9009:

I asked my husband this after I saw you message.

He said "I'd think to myself WTF, but would not say anything and mind my own business.  I'd kind of wonder if he was in some kind of event that had him dress as a woman"

To be honest, we are more cruel and judgemental that guys are a lot of the time.

The "best" solution here is to have the transgender person use a unisex bathroom.




Quoting Phillymama123:

How would you know? Its stalls. Can you imagine how scary it would be to go in a men's rest room when you present as a woman. How cruel people might be?








Quoting erika9009:

I don't have any problem with it.

Where i draw the line is when a man wanting to be a woman (and dresses that way) insists on using the women's restroom.

If they still have the "guy parts", they need  to use the guy's restroom.

If they are "converted", I have a "square to spare"









Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Hislovebug
by Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:16 PM



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Of course it's a disorder! But it's easier to change the body than the brain. Looking for attention?! Are you for real? Do you know what the suicide rate is for transgendered people? Instead of judging, why don't you try to understand better? Do you really think people would surgically alter the most intimate and sensitive parts of their bodies, at thousands of dollars, because they want attention? Do you really think they'd suffer ridicule, abuse, and rejection for attention?

Quoting Hislovebug:

And idc what people say about this I think transgender people are just looking for attention. It's completely different from being gay/lesbian. It's a disorder, you were born in the correct body otherwise you would have been born in the body that suits you...if people don't like my opinion well that's just to bad bc Idgaf :)


I'm not saying dont do it. I am no one to dictate anyone's life. But if you were born a male or female that is what you will always be to me. And yes it is looking for attention. No one is forcing them to kill themeselves. People need to learn to forget what people say. Hey if the tranny is happy then be happy that's great. But personally I still beleive that you are what you where born.

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