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transgender - what's your opinion? (*EDIT IN BLUE*)

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this has nothing to do with me or my family personally but my husband and i just got into a huge fight over it. i accept everyone for who they are and what decisions they decide to make with their life and/or body. i don't believe anyone has the right to tell someone they can or can't do something to THEIR body. my husband is the complete opposite, he said people who are transgender are unnatural and wrong. he believes they should make it illegal to have a sex change. he even went as far as saying that if our daughter decided she wasn't happy as a girl and wanted to be a boy that he would disown her and walk out of her life. when i told him i would stick beside her and support her he told me "well then we would be over." my response: "fine, but i refuse to walk away from my child." he said I'M close minded and stupid for thinking that transgender people are ok but i personally think HE is the one that is close minded. anyway, my point to this post is to get everyone else's opinion on the subject.

so, what is your opinion?

*EDIT- i decided to change the subject title because i realized after several responses i did phrase it incorrectly, it's not an issue that you can be "for or against". so let me just simply ask, what is your opinion on the subject?*

please don't bash anyone else for their opinions, it is THEIR opinion.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Replies (41-50):
by Ruby Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting ZoeysMom11:

he even went as far as saying that if our daughter decided she wasn't happy as a girl and wanted to be a boy that

Gender is a social construct but, to the extent it is real, it exists in people's heads.  In fact they've done brain scans, and localised the feeling of gender to one particular part of the brain.

Teenage children and adults not only never change gender - they can't.  It is a fixed part of their brain by that stage of development.

The problem is that some people's actual gender (the fixed part, in their brain) doesn't always match their chromosomes or their body's sexual characteristics.   They may not immediately be able to identify that that is the problem with their life, but they usually know something is wrong, unless there are a lot of masking factors (such as an abusive childhood).

So it isn't a question of wanting to change gender.   It is a question of recognising what gender you actually are, then deciding how much you want to make your body match that gender, or if you'll put up with living with a wrong body.

Ask your husband to suppose a headache pill his doctor gave him had an unanticipated side effect, causing your husband to grow breasts and have his cock shrink.  Would you husband shrug and decide to live with that, or would he strive to get into his 'right' body, a masculine body?   Would it alter things for him if the pill had been given to him when he was 3 years old, so he had no memory of the 'beforehand', but just knew his current body with breasts and a small penis was 'wrong' for him?

by Bazinga! on Jan. 10, 2013 at 2:57 PM


Quoting Sekirei:

I can't wrap my mind around the thought of a parent walking away from their child because of something their child cannot control. It makes me ill.
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:02 PM

I am extremely supportive of transgendered people. Everyone should be entitled to do what they need to in order to feel whole and complete.

by New Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:53 PM
1 mom liked this

The suicide rate is very high for trans youth for this exact reason. Your husband is uneducated about this subject. Gender is between the ears not the legs. Just because you have male genitals doesn't mean you identify as male. It takes a very loving and courageous parent to allow their child the right to be themselves. Good for you mom for the unconditional love of your child!

by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:01 AM

I will let my children be WHOEVER/WHATEVER they want to be and I will stick by them no matter what!  Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender....I think you are correct and your husband is close minded.  Sadly, even in today's world a lot of people are still so close minded and think that they can control someone else.  

by New Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:08 AM

I'm curious how people would respond if they found out their child's best friend is transgendered? Would that change anything? How about sleepovers? Would you be able to keep this knowledge confidential, out of respect for the child? Would it bother you if they used the same restroom at school? These are great tests of acceptance?

by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:14 AM

I don't feel I can be "against" someone's personal medical choices.  If that is what the person needs, than that is what they should get.  I'm sure no one enters into it lightly or without thought.

If it helps my husband and I disagree about this too.  It goes against his beliefs.  :(  We have to just not talk about it, it is such a touchy subject.

by Obama licker on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:21 AM

For or against?

Um. I'm not sure how to even answer that. Transgender people have every single right to be what they are. Do I have a problem with it?


by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:28 AM

I agree with you husband that is unnatural and wrong but that is as far as I agree.  If his love for his child is conditional like that, it is sad.  If my child told me he or she was going to change genders, I wouldn't agree, but I would be there for him/her.  I may never fully accept the new gender as real but I would always accept my child with ove.  It is a personal choice and agree or disagree they have the right to decide their life for themselves.  The few transgender persons I have know have had a life long struggle and suffered so much pain, I wouldn't add to it just because.  Let your husband know I think that abaondoning you child like that is unnatural and wrong and should be illegal and people like that should be disowned.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:38 AM

He is a narrowminded bigot! Not his body not his business. I suggest he grow up and realize people are not cookie cutter cut to be one or the other there is many shapes of people cookies (if you get what I mean)

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