Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics

Being alone is such a sad way to live life.....

Posted by   + Show Post

Yep, that is what some one said to me today.

I have no interest in a boyfriend.  The term 'boyfriend' sounds so hilarious to me, at my age. lol   But any way, I am happy being without.  I am not lonely and I do not consider myself 'alone'.  I am actually very well adjusted without a man.  

But time and again I have people telling me they find it to be sad, that I choose to be alone, that I may very well be alone the rest of my life. 

Why?

What is wrong with a woman making the conscience choice not to be involved with someone?  Am I supposed to find some man?  Why?  What for?

I find it sad that people feel a woman needs a man to be complete.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Replies (31-40):
wickedfiress
by Kellie on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't know why people always assume someone who is "alone" is "lonely." 

I have never found these terms interchangeable when it comes to relationships.

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:55 AM

I agree with you.

futureshock
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I don't think that is it, I think most people naturally enjoy human companionship.

I find it sad that people feel a woman needs a man to be complete.

MomTiara19
by Bronze Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I hate when people make assumptions like that!

That thought wouldnt even cross my mind.I would just think you were independent and busy.I have a few friends who are single....and they are very busy and enjoying freedom:)

nerthus
by Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:04 PM
2 moms liked this

I've been divorced since 1996 and am now 50, with 3 grown children I mostly raised alone and no plans to ever marry again. Since my divorce I HAVE had 'romance' here and there, ha, but I honestly don't miss being married and am now so set in my ways I don't think I could put up with having to make compromises with another husband. I like being free to do my own thing in my down time and hog the tv remote and other such trivial things, ha. I'm never gonna be 'alone' because 2 of my 3 kids are special needs and even now, in their 20's they live with me and probably always will, at least till I get too old and/or sick to care for them any longer. I've been told that it's sad and too stressful for me to have to keep taking care of them all on my own, and that is indeed the ONE area in which I sometimes wish their father would have helped me more. It can be exhausting and emotionally stressful always having to be the one to deal with medical emergencies, dr visits, medicaid and insurance hassles, etc. for my children because they can't do it for themselves. My son has mental illness--acute panic disorder, bipolar, borderline personality disorder--and my daughter has a genetic defect, autism, diabetes, degenerative arthritis, and a history of seizures. She functions at 25 on the level of a 6 year old, while my 28 yr old son goes months sometimes where he can't even leave the house except for late night runs to 24 hr convenience stores to buy cigs when he knows hardly anyone will be in the store or out on the streets. I work part time and it's tough making ends meet, but I just don't see ever wanting another man in the house, especially not if my main reason for having him is to help me cope with my kids. And to be honest, what man would WANT to marry me knowing my kids would be part of the package and living with us?!! I dated someone after my divorce, back when the kids were teens, who was honest enough to admit he couldn't deal with them on a longterm basis and would only be with me permanently if I agreed to put my children in group homes or some sort of institutions once they hit their 20's. I told him g'bye, nice knowing you. So yes, my ONLY regret about being single is that I do worry about my kids as I get older and deal with my auto immune disease and have more trouble with my health; I wish their father was more open to taking a bigger part in our daughter's life so if the need arises he will KNOW what to do for her and what might be the best options for her care. He at least HAS helped some with our son, when he had to be hospitalized in a psychiatric facility a few years ago my ex did step up and help with that, signed him in and took care of payments, transport, etc. because I just couldn't do it, as my daughter was having grand mal seizures again then and needed foot surgery as well. But where our autistic daughter is concerned, my ex has basically NOTHING to do with her and just doesn't want to. It makes me sad. (Our 3rd and youngest child is an electrical engineer, lives in Dallas and is self-sufficient and has a good-paying job.) But yeah, I won't be marrying again, and I think I have more than enough on my hands to keep me from worrying about being 'alone', ha!

tambrathegreat
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, it's so sad that you get to do what you want, when you want. It's sad that  you can do things without having to consider "Will he be upset if I do X?"

Was this person speaking out of envy maybe?


lga1965
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:29 PM

 good post. I agree. I like being single and I feel free. I can decide what to do and when,what to cook,what to watch on TV. I dated a little quite a while ago but that wasn't so much fun. :-) So I  have family and friends to spend time with and  can set my own schedule, make my own choices without feeling judged.

mhaney03
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:31 PM
I love being single. Wouldn't trade this for anything.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
krysstizzle
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:56 PM
That still implies single women don't have human companionship if they're not in a romantic relationship.

Quoting futureshock:

I don't think that is it, I think most people naturally enjoy human companionship.

I find it sad that people feel a woman needs a man to be complete.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:23 PM


Quoting futureshock:

I don't think that is it, I think most people naturally enjoy human companionship.

I find it sad that people feel a woman needs a man to be complete.

Of course we enjoy human companionship.  But why does that seem to equal male companionship or a romantic involvement?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN