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Being alone is such a sad way to live life.....

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Yep, that is what some one said to me today.

I have no interest in a boyfriend.  The term 'boyfriend' sounds so hilarious to me, at my age. lol   But any way, I am happy being without.  I am not lonely and I do not consider myself 'alone'.  I am actually very well adjusted without a man.  

But time and again I have people telling me they find it to be sad, that I choose to be alone, that I may very well be alone the rest of my life. 

Why?

What is wrong with a woman making the conscience choice not to be involved with someone?  Am I supposed to find some man?  Why?  What for?

I find it sad that people feel a woman needs a man to be complete.

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Replies (41-50):
Stephanie329
by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:26 PM
For the life of me, I cannot fathom the rudeness and ignorance of some people.

In my experience, I've encountered much more sadness in women who are NOT alone.

Ultimately, it's not a contest but truly, each person's happiness is derived differently.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree!  You don't strike me as a "sad" person at all, but a put-together, engaged, smart, busy, self-possesed women.

I was single after my first divorce for 10 years, and I really felt it was possible that I would be single forever.  I didn't feel sad, I felt satisfied and busy.  I loved my time alone and still find it, after 9 years of marriage and 2 kids, a tough adjustment at times.  Sometimes I absolutely CRAVE being alone.

How rude of people to call your life "sad."  They are probably jealous.  ;)

If you "need" a man, it is my opinion that you will stuggle to find a happy relationship.  The best relationships come from wanting to be with someone, not "needing" to be with them.

PamR
by Pam on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:32 PM

There's nothing wrong with it.  You life, if you're happy, that's all that matters.

Mommy_of_Riley
by Jes on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:50 PM
I think people can be happy with someone or alone... Depends on the person.

If you're happy that's all that matters.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wowguildmomma
by Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Many people did this to my grandmother when she was still with us. She chose not to get involved or remarry because even though the divorce was over she still honored her vows to her husband. She got finished raising her kids, then spent time with us grandkids and had many friends. She lived a exceptionally full life even though she chose not to find another man. 

You keep doing what you do and what makes you happy! It can be done they just are too blind to see that happiness is possible in ever situation.

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm sure you're not lonely.

maciymommieof3
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I think they "think of themselves alone" and maybe that is how they would feel? I don't know.... 

Kimsd
by New Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this
No, it's sad being with someone who is supposed to love you, but feeling alone and lonely anyway.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:29 PM


Quoting EireLass:

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm sure you're not lonely.

Exactly.

I do think many people assume that if a person is not involved with some one, they must be lonely, they are after all, alone.

That simply is not the case.  

I was far more lonely during the latter years of my marriage than I have been since the divorce.

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I became 'unmarried' (when he walked out) in 1989. I just got married last July. My kids were 11 & 8 at the time. I found parenting very easy. I was fortunate to have good kids. I watched others around me with the whole step-parenting thing, and I didn't want that. Oh, sure, I dated....but it was never anything that would lead to marriage. I never really had an opportunity to be lonely. But I did enjoy spending time alone.

Quoting FromAtoZ:
Quoting EireLass:

There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm sure you're not lonely.

Exactly.

I do think many people assume that if a person is not involved with some one, they must be lonely, they are after all, alone.

That simply is not the case.  

I was far more lonely during the latter years of my marriage than I have been since the divorce.


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