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Funeral related- updated

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:47 PM
  • 16 Replies
What age did your child(ren) first attend a funeral showing?

What age do you think is appropriate to attend a showing?

I am unsure what is appropriate. My grandmother passed away today. Our boys saw her a few times a year, sent her cards from time to time, and received birthday cards from her for every birthday. I am curious as to others' experiences and how they handled it with their children.

Update:
Thanks ladies!! Death is something we talk about regularly in our house as their older sister died as an infant and DH's brother died about 11 years ago. We actually just celebrated their sister's birthday last weekend as a family. They are 5.5, 4.5, and 3. I think we will take them but DH will bring them home after a quick visit. I appreciate all your responses.
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krysstizzle
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Close relatives, I don't think there is an age , imo, my kids would go no matter how old they are. The only funeral we've had for close family was my great grandma when my oldest was 2, he went to that.

I don't make death a big deal, they know it's part of life and we've talked about it often.
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sherry132
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:53 PM

My grandmother died when my son was 8. He was an honorary pall barer. (sp?) Anyway, if they know her, it's important for closure, but if she isn't someone they know, I'd wait until they are much older. No sooner than age of 5 unless they are very close to her. 

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:54 PM
I think it depends on the kid. Even if they are not old enough for a viewing I think they should be able to go to the burial or even a visit to the gravesite later. They can process it in thier own way.
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navewife
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:58 PM
To me there should never be an age limit. Children need to be brought up that death is part of the circle of life, and we need to set the example of how to greive. The importance of family, friends, support, and respect can all be learned by being a part of the prossess. Its a tangeable goodbye for them.
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Peanutx3
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:10 PM

It depends on the child.  When my husband passed away last year my children were 5, 7, and 9.  I let my children decide whether or not to go to the viewing.  They knew that once they got there they could change their mind.  They knew they could stay as long or as short as they wanted to.  

survivorinohio
by René on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:29 PM


Quoting krysstizzle:

Close relatives, I don't think there is an age , imo, my kids would go no matter how old they are. The only funeral we've had for close family was my great grandma when my oldest was 2, he went to that.

I don't make death a big deal, they know it's part of life and we've talked about it often.

Yes this,  I would add for someone close sometimes the funeral is what gives them closure.  My kids each attended their first funeral young and I think they needed to see and understand.  It was a close family member.

*ETA* To the OPs question they were 3 and 4 and 6.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:31 PM

 I haven't put a lot of thought in to it. My children are 4 and almost 2, I would probably just think about it when it happens.

glitterteaz
by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:31 PM

My daughter went as a baby. They deal better with death the earlier they are exposed. A cousin of mine never went to funeral till she was 11 and she did not handle it well at ALL!!! So in my experience the younger the better.

purpleducky
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:44 PM

My oldest went to his first funeral when he was like 3-4 months old. He went to his next one right before he turned 2. Children need to grieve too. I would never keep this from a funeral. It is a natural part of life. Hell, my son will mention my uncle (the second funeral) at times and they only saw each other at family events. And honestly, my family was happy that I brought him to both funerals because it is nice to see the next generation and the light of the world when everything seems so dark.

DSamuels
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:45 PM
My granddaughter was 2 and her brother 7 weeks when my stepmom died and we all went to visitation (closed casket), funeral & burial. When my dad died in April, the whole family went to the funeral...all 5 grand kids ages 2, 5, 6, 9 & 11. They did very well. We did not have visitation and it was closed casket, both at his request. The oldest granddaughter asked to go with us (me, hubs, her mother and my dad's girlfriend) to view him after he'd been embalmed before we had the casket closed.
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