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debate this: A Fathers Divorce Issue

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:39 PM
  • 69 Replies

Hi ladies.  First, I really need to get this off of my chest and second, I want to see if I am not thinking clearly or if this is just wrong.

Our story starts out with a couple, let's just call them B and E.  B and E have a baby and E goes into some serious PP issues.  Things get bad enough between them that B decides to save the marriage that they should see a counselor together.  E agrees but when the counselor points out that she has somethings she needs to work on along with B she stops going.  For a show of good faith B continues to go to counseling in order to get the issues he is having under control so he can show E that is really trying to make the marriage work.  This works for a while, he thinks things are getting better so they he saves up money (she only worked part time if at all, she was a SAHM for a while after the birth of their first daughter) to take her on a cruise.  They enjoy a nice 2 week stay and a few months later she makes the announcement that she is pregnant, a surprise to B because he thought she was on BC.  

Fast forward a few months into her pregnancy and she leaves B.  She finds section 8 housing, takes their daughter and everything she wants and just leaves.  They are now going through a divorce.  E has perjured herself on the stand (I was sitting there when she did it multiple times), has gone against court order and has used their DD as a bargaining chip whenever she wants anything.  Not to mention that she is trying to take everything from him even after she hid almost $15k of the money they had in a joint account and is claiming she doens't know where it is (he was able to show that through bank statements).  

Right now E just had a C-Section to deliver the new baby, a girl.  She didn't allow B into the room and didn't even allow him to help name his new daughter.  

This is the short story of it.  

I know there are 2 sides to every story and I know that B is not without fault but honestly this woman pisses me off.  I swear if I see her in public I will let everyone know what a dishonest bitch she is.  All B wants is 50/50 custody and to not pay thousands in child support since that would leave him with only $800 to live off of a month which is impossible where we live.  E will not even consider working with him on anything he wants.

What is your take on the situation?  Anyone been in this situation before?

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SewingMamaLele
by Leanne on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:45 PM
3 moms liked this

My take is that they need to go to court and have custody and child support decided on by a judge. 

blues_pagan
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Sadly here 50/50 custody is rarely awarded.  And since she has an infant she will most likely be given full custody of both children.  her plans are to move down south (we are in the northeast) where she will want to live off of the child support (she is looking to get almost 2k a month from him) and basically put the ball in his court to fly down to see the kids, even though she knows he won't have the money to do so.

He is looking at bankruptcy right now.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

My take is that they need to go to court and have custody and child support decided on by a judge. 


katy_kay08
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this

how are you involved in this mess and how do you get yourself out of it?  


mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Even with all this info I still don't know enough to make an accruate statement. I want to know E's side of the story. 

blues_pagan
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:51 PM

We were friends with them both when they were together.  Right now we are his support network (I tried to be hers as well but she just pushed me away).  

Quoting katy_kay08:

how are you involved in this mess and how do you get yourself out of it?  



SewingMamaLele
by Leanne on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:52 PM

If me and my husband were to split, that's what we'd be looking at too... I would have primary custody and he would be paying a couple grand in child support per month.   (we just went through a separation and actually looked into all of this).   With the child support, though, they base it on his income and make sure that he has enough left over to live on  (at least they do in CA)... 50/50 is too hard on young children, they need a primary caregiver and lots of stability. 

Quoting blues_pagan:

Sadly here 50/50 custody is rarely awarded.  And since she has an infant she will most likely be given full custody of both children.  her plans are to move down south (we are in the northeast) where she will want to live off of the child support (she is looking to get almost 2k a month from him) and basically put the ball in his court to fly down to see the kids, even though she knows he won't have the money to do so.

He is looking at bankruptcy right now.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

My take is that they need to go to court and have custody and child support decided on by a judge. 



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KenneMaw
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:54 PM

I hope the judge sees through her lies and supports the husband.

blues_pagan
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:54 PM

E has some issues that have yet to be resolved such as post pardum depression as well as hoarding tendencies.  Needless to say when things get tough, which they were getting tough financially after she had their first DD, she doesn't really work to solve the issue.  Instead she pushes people away and closes herself off.  I know, I tried to help her many times by just listening.  

I also know the straw the broke the camels back for her was when B got a DUI.  Granted that is another story in itself (he passed the breathalizer and field test but the officer said he smelled alcohol on his breath and took him in anyway).  He also had some anxiety issues and was on meds for it.  I just think she couldn't handle her issues, his issues and everything else.

Quoting mehamil1:

Even with all this info I still don't know enough to make an accruate statement. I want to know E's side of the story. 


blues_pagan
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:55 PM

The set up they have now is working fine for their oldest daughter.  I don't get why some parents don't see 50/50 as a viable option.  You can find stability there if you work together.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

If me and my husband were to split, that's what we'd be looking at too... I would have primary custody and he would be paying a couple grand in child support per month.   (we just went through a separation and actually looked into all of this).   With the child support, though, they base it on his income and make sure that he has enough left over to live on  (at least they do in CA)... 50/50 is too hard on young children, they need a primary caregiver and lots of stability. 

Quoting blues_pagan:

Sadly here 50/50 custody is rarely awarded.  And since she has an infant she will most likely be given full custody of both children.  her plans are to move down south (we are in the northeast) where she will want to live off of the child support (she is looking to get almost 2k a month from him) and basically put the ball in his court to fly down to see the kids, even though she knows he won't have the money to do so.

He is looking at bankruptcy right now.

Quoting SewingMamaLele:

My take is that they need to go to court and have custody and child support decided on by a judge. 




mehamil1
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2013 at 12:59 PM

And how are you involved in all of this? 

Quoting blues_pagan:

E has some issues that have yet to be resolved such as post pardum depression as well as hoarding tendencies.  Needless to say when things get tough, which they were getting tough financially after she had their first DD, she doesn't really work to solve the issue.  Instead she pushes people away and closes herself off.  I know, I tried to help her many times by just listening.  

I also know the straw the broke the camels back for her was when B got a DUI.  Granted that is another story in itself (he passed the breathalizer and field test but the officer said he smelled alcohol on his breath and took him in anyway).  He also had some anxiety issues and was on meds for it.  I just think she couldn't handle her issues, his issues and everything else.

Quoting mehamil1:

Even with all this info I still don't know enough to make an accruate statement. I want to know E's side of the story. 


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