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I have 3 boys of my own. Currently, I have a totally of 7 boys playing in the backyard. They are a collection of my own children, school friends, and neighborhood buddies. I am sitting here on my couch watching them. I am convinced that little boys are not very self preserving when it comes to their choices. Anyone else wonder how the male species survives childhood? Good grief.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:53 PM
Replies (21-30):
Ktina11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this
3 boys here too!! I just ROTFL over your rules you never thought you would have to make. The "Only one boy may use the toilet at a time" and "No, you cannot help your brother aim his pee" have become rules in our house too. I never dreamed of this kind of stuff!


Quoting GLWerth:

And here I thought trying to accessorize the penis was unique to my spawn.


Three boys here, no girls.


And I do wonder how they survive childhood, an anecdote from a few years ago:


Me: Hey, Conrad and Alex how did you get this big cut in your screen? Think that might be where the bats are getting in?


Conrad: Oh, yeah, we were sword fighting and my sword stuck through.


Me: The hole is way bigger than a sword and why didn't you tell me?


Conrad: Well, I forgot about it.


Me: Why is the hole so big?


Conrad: Well, I dropped my sword out the window onto the garage roof, so I had to make the hole bigger so Alex could climb out and get it.


Me: What?


Alex: Conrad is afraid to go on the roof, so I did it. But I didn't jump off, because I thought that might make you mad.


Me: TIM! COME AND TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!


I've also had to make a number of rules I thought I'd never, ever have to make, including, but not limited to:


You may only pick your own nose and please don't do that either.


Only one boy may use the toilet at one time.


No, you can't help your brother "aim" his pee pee.


Don't use your brother as a boat ramp.


We don't talk about anything in our pants to grandma or anywhere except at home.


Even if your finger fits into the dog's nose, please don't put it there, the dogs don't like it.




Quoting nuclear_sugar:

I have 3 boys of my own, and I wonder that daily....lol



I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

You just don't have to explain such things to little GIRLS...do you?



 


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Ktina11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:36 PM
OMG!! Yuck....but totally funny!!


Quoting rfurlongg:

Last year I kept smelling this foul older in my oldest son's room. I kept searching and searching and eventually resigned to the notion that boys smell. Well, Dh did not buy it so pulled the bunkbed out from the against the wall to find several streams of dried pee and grossly crusted base room and ruined carpets. Apparently when he had to pee in the middle of the night, he simply peed on the wall. The wall! Gross.

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LntLckrsCmQut
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:41 PM


Quoting nuclear_sugar:

I have 3 boys of my own, and I wonder that daily....lol



I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

You just don't have to explain such things to little GIRLS...do you?

Minus the whole penis craze they have, I have to explain a lot of things to my 5 year old daughter.

*Quit pinching your breasts so hard, geeze*

*For the 5th time, no, you cannot wash the dogs penis, butt, or scrotum. Besides, the poor guy doesn't have scrotum anymore*.

*I'm glad you have finally realized where your poop exits your body, but I really do NOT need to see it*.


I could go on but I'm afraid I would have nightmares.

LntLckrsCmQut
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

My son is 17 now and I think I have blocked the years of his much younger days. That child almost sent me to the loony bin.

I remember when he was 4,(We lived in an apartment complex)  he had come in from playing outside complaining of a stomach ache. I asked if he needed to poop, which he declined. He took a drink of water and headed back outside. He came in a few minutes later stating that his tummy no longer hurt. Panic set in as it always did because well, of him. I decided to check out the crime scene and sure enough, my kid did the unthinkable. He took a nice healthy shit right on my front porch. I could just imagine what the neighbors thought.

I can remember the incident at the grocery store. He had a habit of running off every single time we walked in. I finally had enough and didn't chase after him. (not good but I was young and stupid, lol). I let it go a few minutes, which felt like hours, and finally found him.... Sitting in the middle of the feminine hygiene section.... With a whole box of pads stuck to his whole body while twirling a few tampons like a lasso.

Did I say loony bin?

Arroree
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Ugh

I've had to create the oh so wonderful rules of

You MUST have undies and pants on to have company over.

You don't stick your finger in eachothers butts, i'd rather you not stick it in your own either at least until you're a teenager.

If you're not in your bedroom or bathroom you MUST have underwear on.

No seriously, put on some damned undies.

I'm not kidding about the undies...

Punching eachother in the balls is NOT ok play.

You can't kick eachother in the balls either.

No that doesn't mean it's ok to headbutt eachother in the balls.

No jumping off the couch to land on eachother with your elbows, or your knees, or your head, just no jumping on eachother, fine no jumping, stay off the couch, that's it no kids allowed the couch, don't even look at it.

Since we rearanged the boys room the other day we've had to create a couple new rules.

No standing on the dresser.

No jumping from the dresser to the beds *older boy ended up with a mild concussion from smacking his head on the headboard on a crazy leap from the dresser*

*sigh*



Quoting GLWerth:

And here I thought trying to accessorize the penis was unique to my spawn.

Three boys here, no girls.

And I do wonder how they survive childhood, an anecdote from a few years ago:

Me: Hey, Conrad and Alex how did you get this big cut in your screen? Think that might be where the bats are getting in?

Conrad: Oh, yeah, we were sword fighting and my sword stuck through.

Me: The hole is way bigger than a sword and why didn't you tell me?

Conrad: Well, I forgot about it.

Me: Why is the hole so big?

Conrad: Well, I dropped my sword out the window onto the garage roof, so I had to make the hole bigger so Alex could climb out and get it.

Me: What?

Alex: Conrad is afraid to go on the roof, so I did it. But I didn't jump off, because I thought that might make you mad.

Me: TIM! COME AND TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!

I've also had to make a number of rules I thought I'd never, ever have to make, including, but not limited to:

You may only pick your own nose and please don't do that either.

Only one boy may use the toilet at one time.

No, you can't help your brother "aim" his pee pee.

Don't use your brother as a boat ramp.

We don't talk about anything in our pants to grandma or anywhere except at home.

Even if your finger fits into the dog's nose, please don't put it there, the dogs don't like it.


Quoting nuclear_sugar:

I have 3 boys of my own, and I wonder that daily....lol



I also marvel at the things I have to explain to them...for example, "No, it is not acceptable to tie sunglasses to your penis as a 'decoration.'" Or, "No, you can't pee on the field in the middle of your soccer game." Or, "No, you cannot build a fort on top of the fridge/roof/cat/Christmas tree."

You just don't have to explain such things to little GIRLS...do you?





rfurlongg
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:01 PM
We have the undies conversation more than once. We finally compromised that they may sleep comando but undies MUST be worn on all other occasions.

The jumping the the top bunk to hang on the fan, has also been a constant conversation. They last time I caught trying the catch the fan while leaping from the bunk, their response was " what mom? The fan is off." Good grief.
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rfurlongg
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:02 PM
We have had the undies conversation more than once. We finally compromised that they may sleep comando but undies MUST be worn on all other occasions.

The jumping the the top bunk to hang on the fan, has also been a constant conversation. The last time I caught them trying the catch the fan while leaping from the bunk, their response was " what mom? The fan is off." Good grief.
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Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:03 PM

 

Quoting rfurlongg:

Last year I kept smelling this foul older in my oldest son's room. I kept searching and searching and eventually resigned to the notion that boys smell. Well, Dh did not buy it so pulled the bunkbed out from the against the wall to find several streams of dried pee and grossly crusted base room and ruined carpets. Apparently when he had to pee in the middle of the night, he simply peed on the wall. The wall! Gross.

 Oh Lord...  My parents thought it was the cat that was making my brother's room smell like that.  My dad actually got so mad, he loaded the cat up in the car for a ride to the vet; he was going to have her put down.  Luckily, the cat was a witch and the car wouldn't start.  Before hundreds of dollars in auto repairs were finished, they discovered it was my brother.  Ugh!

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this

This post is hilarious!

I have always heard that you pay for boys up front, and for girls later.

I have two girls. I am on the no-money down, balloon payment plan...with my 4yo, I can already see it coming.

rfurlongg
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:09 PM
What possess them to think that is ok?! When my brother was in grade school, he went to the teachers bathroom peed into all the soap dispensers so the teachers washed their hands with my brothers pee for a period of time. He told us during he graduation dinner many yrs later.

Quoting Bieg9093:

 


Quoting rfurlongg:

Last year I kept smelling this foul older in my oldest son's room. I kept searching and searching and eventually resigned to the notion that boys smell. Well, Dh did not buy it so pulled the bunkbed out from the against the wall to find several streams of dried pee and grossly crusted base room and ruined carpets. Apparently when he had to pee in the middle of the night, he simply peed on the wall. The wall! Gross.

 Oh Lord...  My parents thought it was the cat that was making my brother's room smell like that.  My dad actually got so mad, he loaded the cat up in the car for a ride to the vet; he was going to have her put down.  Luckily, the cat was a witch and the car wouldn't start.  Before hundreds of dollars in auto repairs were finished, they discovered it was my brother.  Ugh!

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