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He said he wasn't sure how felt about me anymore, but his feelings have changed...?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:40 PM
  • 18 Replies

I'm kind of at a loss here. My childs father and I have been together for over two years. 6 months of which he spent locked up out of stupidity on both our parts. We had an argument and things got out of hand. My nosy neighbor called the cops and they ended up arresting him. He resents me for the situation and rightly so. Long story, short; he had reached out to me after getting out and we continued to talk and things naturally heated up between us; hence we're expecting our first child now. We love each other a lot and have a really good relationship or so I thought. 

He's been really stressed becuase it's been difficult to find work and has just become more and more distant lately. Saturday he went to his fathers around 12 pm-ish, got piss drunk and didn't come home that night. No phone calls or text. Although I trust him, I worry because (for obvious reasons...) he doesn't make the smartest decisions under stress. Well I didn't get a call from him until 5/6pm the next day. I was upset. I know that he needs his time to hang with his friends and drink and have a good time, I trust him not to cheat, but I get scared he will get arrested or worse; hurt. 

Anyway, we had a falling out because he was just so hell bent on proclaiming his right to have a good time and not be nagged about it. I don't want to be that type of girl friend, but he never puts himself in my shoes. I was up all night worried, I hadn't eaten anything since lunch that day... The truth is I had just lost my job the day before and needed the moral support and he just insisted on needing his time. I was patient and I gave it to him. I didn't put up a fight and I even tried to give him incentive to come home that night.   ;)

Things have been so stressful at home with him not working and then me losing my job. I guess we just broke down. Anyway, he told me that he he wasn't sure how he felt about me any more. His feelings had changed and he was trying to stick around for the baby and to be a good man to me but he could tell that it was killing me and he couldn't pretend anymore. He's just been so miserable and unhappy because of his inability to find work. Unhappy with his situation, his life, not being able to finish school because of financial issues and now a baby thrown into the mix....

It hurts so bad. I feel like my life is falling apart. My lease is up in a month and I don't have any family here so I have nowhere to go. I have no car, no job, no way to support this child let alone myself. My family has offered to take me back home and I want to take it, but I don't know if I can leave. Regardless of how he feels about me or dosen't, he wants to be a part of this baby's life and if I move it will be very hard for him to do that. Plus, I'm still in love with him. It's tearing me apart! But, if I stay it's going to be a struggle for a very long time. He's offered to help; to let me stay at his dads or moms while he stays at a friends, but I don't know if I can do that. The constant reminder... I just don't think I could do it.  

I would greatly appreciate any advice you can offer. 

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Peanutx3
by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:44 PM
4 moms liked this

He sounds like he is the one that needs to grow up.  I think you may very well be better off without him.  I'm sorry to say.

gammie
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Do what is the best for the baby, if that means going home than go home. If its meant to be it will be, if its not than don't force it!
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parentalrights1
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:59 PM
2 moms liked this
Douchebags just call women nags whenever expected to behave in a mature way and be a decent significant other
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stormcris
by Christy on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:00 PM

Go home. If it's meant to be it will no matter if you do.

MiddleAgeMess
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:01 PM
Move home. He's shown you his priorities & you aren't one of them.
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Kool_Aide
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:04 PM

He sounds ashamed, depressed and angry. All things YOU can't fix. He has to do this and unfortunately it might take awhile.

PinkParadox
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Look, my husband and I have been together for 13 years. Even through job loss, we've had zero of these issues. We're not perfect, but we are grown ups with effective communication skills. Do yourself, and your child a favor...instead of wasting years of your life. Move back with your family, get back on your feet....make better choices in the future.
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survivorinohio
by René on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:04 PM


Quoting stormcris:

Go home. If it's meant to be it will no matter if you do.

This


How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:11 PM

 all of the above PLUS: get yourself some counseling at your local women's shelter. You have been abused physically and emotionally and once you realize and come to see your strengths, you will forever be dragged under by this man or the next man like him, that will come along.

TruthSeeker.
by Milami on Jan. 21, 2013 at 6:31 PM
2 moms liked this

 Run, don't walk. That is my advice.

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