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Poll

Question: Do you think this punishment is too much?

Options:

Yes. She's a teenager now not a small child. She needs to have her freedom.

This isn't punishment. Children this age need to be supervised.

I agree with it for now but she should slowly be able to earn her freedom back.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 101

View Results

My 13yo dd has been driving me nuts.

She snuck off and dated a boy behind my back. (That got her into a scary situation) She's hanging around kids and getting into trouble, got kicked out of the corner store, having attitude with adults. She's neglecting her chores and homework in favor of facebook and friends. And now the latest battles is clothes. Thank God her school has uniforms but outside of school I'm constantly telling her to change her clothes or add legging or an undershirt.

It comes down to the fact that I can't trust her. So I came up with a plan. I walk her to and from school. I accompany her to the park and rec center when she hangs out with her friends (her little brother and sister come too) When we leave she leaves too. I put a pass word on the computer and she's only allowed on after her homework and chores are done.

She wants to know how long this will go on. I told her until she can prove to me that she's responsible. So now I am officially the worst mother ever,lol.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Replies (51-60):
afwifeandmommy3
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Also I had my first bf at 14. Always supervised and in a group setting with parents . It worked well for me and it's what I will do with my kids
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
edieda
by New Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:43 PM

Well you might consider me old fashioned and that's ok if you do, but I do think 13 is too young to be sneaking a boy into the house and having a boyfriend.  I agree with what you are doing, just keep being consistent in continuing to do what you do. It sounds like to me you are a caring and concerned mother. don't worry about her saying you are the worst mother ever. one day when she is old enough to realize somethings , she will see that all along you were there for her and you did what you did because of your love for her. Keep hanging in there. 

Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:05 PM
2 moms liked this

 welcome to the lovely world of parenting a teen! hang on tight- it's going to be a bumpy ride. and as my big sis promises me regularly- they'll love you again when they are 20.

Me? I enjoy fantasizing about my empty nest which will begin in 2 years.

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:07 PM

 Sounds good to me.

viv212
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:09 PM
2 moms liked this
Maybe because you didn't get her that crucifix?



(that's a joke)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
survivorinohio
by René on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 welcome to the lovely world of parenting a teen! hang on tight- it's going to be a bumpy ride. and as my big sis promises me regularly- they'll love you again when they are 20.

Me? I enjoy fantasizing about my empty nest which will begin in 2 years.

I should have an empty nest.  I hope I will someday lol.

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


Ms.KitKat
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 Keep Hope alive! LOL

I started prepping my oldest when he was in the 10th grade. I told him he needs to provide me with his exit plan  by the fall of his senior year. He will not be sitting on my sofa come June 2014! I do love him. I love him so much it's nearly time for him to leave me already!

Quoting survivorinohio:


Quoting Ms.KitKat:

 welcome to the lovely world of parenting a teen! hang on tight- it's going to be a bumpy ride. and as my big sis promises me regularly- they'll love you again when they are 20.

Me? I enjoy fantasizing about my empty nest which will begin in 2 years.

I should have an empty nest.  I hope I will someday lol.

 

survivorinohio
by René on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:13 PM


Quoting viv212:

Maybe because you didn't get her that crucifix?



(that's a joke)

LOL

All I can think of is the exorcist lol  Teen girls are scary scary scary!

How far you go in life depends on your being: tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of both the weak and strong.  Because someday in life you would have been one or all of these.  GeorgeWashingtonCarver


rfurlongg
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:21 PM
I think it sounds like a brilliant plan. When you feel you can trust her again, you can discuss easing up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:45 PM
1 mom liked this

13yo? No...teens are like toddlers. They need constant correction and re-direction.

How would she prove she was responsible though? Sometimes a war on teens can be like the war on terror. If you don't know what the end looks like you'll keep battling.

You guys should have a conversation about what each of you considers responsibility to be. Have her describe someone she knows and considers "responsible" and you do the same. That might help you guys set some bench marks for earning some freedoms back.

It's hard to "be a better person". It's not so hard to commit wearing leggings if your skirt is too short, KWIM?

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