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Question about teenagers

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:36 AM
  • 45 Replies
Hello ladies. I have a question for those of you with teens or older: How do you feel about teenage boy/girl sleepovers with say, 5 kids or more? Im like WTF? My son is almost 14 and hes a pretty good kid. Ive just started finding out that a lot of his friends, guys and girls, have parents that think this is ok, as long as the boys and girls actually SLEEP in seperate areas of the house. Im so NOT ok with this and wanted more opinions.
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by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Ziva65
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:41 AM
3 moms liked this

No. It's just not appropriate and gives the wrong image.

I have a 16 year old son, and 14 1/2 year old triplets. All really good kids. Even though I totally trust my kids, I don't necessarily trust the others- I may have even known them 14-16 years, it doesn't matter. It's not worth the risk, it's not worth the hassle quite honestly. Plus, they are teens, hormones rage, why even give them the slightest opportunity?

I wouldn't do it, or even consider it. We go to all lengths when my daughter has a sleepover, because she has 3 brothers.

It isn't even just about image. It's just good teaching, and accusations can come easy. It's really not worth it.

Honestly, I'd question the parents who think it's ok. Highly likely we don't have the same ideas about parenting...or what is appropriate.

I don't see why if they really want a co-ed party, which we have all the time- that it can be over at 10 or even 11... besides, I'd like to sleep and not worry about it.

momtimesx4
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this

lol a pregnancy waiting to happen

ashleighmama
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you, I feel the same way. Ive tried explaining all this to my son and he just doesnt seem to get it. He thinks I dont trust HIM. I tell him I DO trust HIM, but that I wouldnt be a responsible parent if I even let him be in that position. Im 41 and times sure have changed.

Quoting Ziva65:

No. It's just not appropriate and gives the wrong image.


I have a 16 year old son, and 14 1/2 year old triplets. All really good kids. Even though I totally trust my kids, I don't necessarily trust the others- I may have even known them 14-16 years, it doesn't matter. It's not worth the risk, it's not worth the hassle quite honestly. Plus, they are teens, hormones rage, why even give them the slightest opportunity?


I wouldn't do it, or even consider it. We go to all lengths when my daughter has a sleepover, because she has 3 brothers.


It isn't even just about image. It's just good teaching, and accusations can come easy. It's really not worth it.


Honestly, I'd question the parents who think it's ok. Highly likely we don't have the same ideas about parenting...or what is appropriate.


I don't see why if they really want a co-ed party, which we have all the time- that it can be over at 10 or even 11... besides, I'd like to sleep and not worry about it.

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Ziva65
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 

 

Quoting ashleighmama:

Thank you, I feel the same way. Ive tried explaining all this to my son and he just doesnt seem to get it. He thinks I dont trust HIM. I tell him I DO trust HIM, but that I wouldnt be a responsible parent if I even let him be in that position. Im 41 and times sure have changed.

Quoting Ziva65:

No. It's just not appropriate and gives the wrong image.


I have a 16 year old son, and 14 1/2 year old triplets. All really good kids. Even though I totally trust my kids, I don't necessarily trust the others- I may have even known them 14-16 years, it doesn't matter. It's not worth the risk, it's not worth the hassle quite honestly. Plus, they are teens, hormones rage, why even give them the slightest opportunity?


I wouldn't do it, or even consider it. We go to all lengths when my daughter has a sleepover, because she has 3 brothers.


It isn't even just about image. It's just good teaching, and accusations can come easy. It's really not worth it.


Honestly, I'd question the parents who think it's ok. Highly likely we don't have the same ideas about parenting...or what is appropriate.


I don't see why if they really want a co-ed party, which we have all the time- that it can be over at 10 or even 11... besides, I'd like to sleep and not worry about it.

Keep talking with him. I think I'd even talk with him about the parenting styles of the others. Perhaps they are more leniant. IT doesn't mean you have to be. Just watch, if you stand up and say he has to be home at a certain time, you wouldn't be the only one at all.

 When I took a ob/gyn review course (nursing), I shared it all with my kids. I showed them pics of all sorts of disgusting STD's- even of young teens. Warts all over- well everywhere. I took them to the teen pregnancy center- girls trying to get through school with a baby. I want them to see clearly real life. not scare them from sex, just early and unprepared sex. I'm not saying at all sex goes on at the parties, but if those parents are opening the door- fine. There's a reason these kids all want to be together. I wouldn't be fostering it that far. 11 is fine. Even midnight, I don't care- but not overnight.

We talk openly about relationships of kids their age- they see what happens - I don't even mean boyfriend girlfriend things- just how kids handle relationships. How kids speak to teacher's. All elements of character. IT's pretty easy to point our character flaws, and then ask- do you want that kid in your house overnight with so and so? I think some frank discussions about character, and he will clearly see that yes, you trust him- but what about... he;ll get it. Just because everyone else is doing it... you know the addage. It happened to us to.

If it really bothers him, or he isn't invited because of it- offer to hold a party, and call it quits at a certain time. Make it  a blast for him and his friends. If they really want the overnight that bad.. hmm.

I'm 47, yes times have changed. But I remember some pretty lenient parents when I was young. My mom thought they were nuts- now I've become my mom :) Looking back though, I appreciated it. I saw so many of those kids go bad, and they didn't have parameters, just sort of free to do their own thing- I'm setting parameters :)

 

 

meriana
by Platinum Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope, not appropriate and certainly not ok at all.

LilyofPhilly
by Gold Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 8:36 AM
Well what's the difference between this and girls or boys haviing a sleepiver when they have brothers or sisters in the house? Just saying... I'm not a fan if sleepivers in general. I like my privacy and my sleep.
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Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Hell no
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gammie
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:49 AM

If you are not okay with it than stick to your gut feelings.I would say no, now if you are going to stay up all night to make sure they just sleep than that is up to you. 

All parents are dong is giving the teens a situation to get into trouble. 

Rubberbiscuit
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:51 AM

I used to feel that there would be no way I would allow it, but I've changed my mind in limited situations.  My daughter is 16 and has been with her boyfriend for a little over a year.  They both are good, responsible kids, and as far as I know, have behaved themselves so far.  On New Years Eve, I allowed my daughter to sleep over their house.  My daughter slept in his little sisters (13 years old) room.  His little sister had a friend sleep over that night, and they ended up staying awake most of the night.  This weekend, my daughter is in Vermont skiing with him and his family.  She is staying in the guest bedroom.  I have spoken to his mom and we are on the same page.  Both of us speak openly to our children about sex and birth control, and both of us feel that they are responsible and haven't taken their relationship to the physical level.  If anything were to happen, each of us would let the other know about it.  Also, I have the kind of relationship with my daughter, that I think she would tell me if she was sexually active. 

Lorriane
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:07 AM
1 mom liked this

No way. Are there going to be adults that stay up and make sure that nothing happens at all. I think not. Just not a good idea

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