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Poll

Question: The major cause of my divorce was......

Options:

He cheated on me

I cheated on him

He said he didn't love me any more

I fell out of love with him

He did not fulfill my needs/expectations

I did not fulfill his needs/expectations

We argued too much

One of us has a mental illness the other couldn't deal with

One of us wanted kids and the other refused

He just left, didn't give a reason

Drug/alcohol abuse

Illegal activities

We just grew apart

Physical abuse

Other (please explain in comments)

Not divorced, just want to see the poll.

Any combination of the above (please explain in comments)

Emotional/mental abuse


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 69

View Results

I am curious as to why people get divorced. I'm including a poll so that women can answer without going into details. If you would like to comment, feel free to do so. Please do not bash or pass judgement upon those who reply or divorced people in general.
Thank you in advance to those who participate.
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Replies (21-30):
mandaday
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm twice divorced. With the first one we just married too young. We had different ideas of happily ever after. There were other issues, but that's what it came down to.
With the second, he was an abusive sociopath, pedophile, and was selling drugs behind my back.
Husband number 3 is an awesome guy.
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Whaaaaaa....O.o
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting punky3175:

I voted 'we grew apart' because it's what I tell people IRL who ask. But it was a combination: emotional abuse, I grew up - he never did, I couldn't be weak around him (because he's so emotionally weak and insecure it's ridiculous) and all of this lead to my falling out of love with him. 9 years later and I'm still happily single and don't know if I'll ever marry again. :-)



I say if your happy single, stick with it. But don't count out remarriage completely. Ya never know who will come along. ;)
My Prince Charming finally came to his senses and found me after 14 years. He was my very first boyfriend when we were teenagers. And it's a plus he wears a uniform!! Hawt!!! :)
punky3175
by Punky on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh I don't count it out. It's just not in my lust if 'things to do.' ;-) I watch so many people depending in others for their happiness and it really blows my mind. I know I'll make a better partner for someone since I'm happy on my own.

Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

Quoting punky3175:

I voted 'we grew apart' because it's what I tell people IRL who ask. But it was a combination: emotional abuse, I grew up - he never did, I couldn't be weak around him (because he's so emotionally weak and insecure it's ridiculous) and all of this lead to my falling out of love with him. 9 years later and I'm still happily single and don't know if I'll ever marry again. :-)





I say if your happy single, stick with it. But don't count out remarriage completely. Ya never know who will come along. ;)

My Prince Charming finally came to his senses and found me after 14 years. He was my very first boyfriend when we were teenagers. And it's a plus he wears a uniform!! Hawt!!! :)
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kidlover2
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:49 AM
A combination of the above. Ultimately he cheated but with the physical, mental, and emotional abuse coupled with drugs and alcohol... the marriage was done.
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Whaaaaaa....O.o
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Quoting punky3175:




That's one thing that makes my marriage work so well. I'm not dependent on him. I know and he knows I would be just fine on my own. We are together because we want to be, not because we have to be.
When I married the first time I was 19 years old. I have grown and learned making my second marriage deliriously happy. :)


Sorry I'm so sappy. Lol
Denisethedaring
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:36 AM

Well, I've been divorced three times, for three different reasons, so I had to pick "other."  (1) physical threats and abuse (we had children together) (2) complete incompatibility resulting in nonstop (verbal only) fighting (we had no children together) and (3) he cheated on me (we had no children together). 

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 I'm not divorced. In my relationship before I met my husband, my ex was verbally and physically abusive.

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:19 AM

I divorced my first husband because he was controlling and we just couldn't get along.  He did me a favor by cheating on me, giving me the perfect excuse to kick his ass out.  He tried to come back, saying "she didn't mean anything to me" and I truly believe she didn't.  But I just couldn't stand him and didn't want to work it out.  He was false and shallow, pompous and insecure at the same time.  

He tried to control me, he would bitch about the music I liked, the movies I liked, the books I read, what I did with my spare time.  He bitched about how annoying and embarrassing it was to have a server as a wife and how awesome he was to be getting his master's, yet I dropped down to part time in college so I could work more to pay the bills while he worked maybe 10 hours a week.  Big shock he was able to get through since I paid all the bills.  

Oh, and he wanted to move in to his parents basement because we didn't have enough money for a big screen TV or a nice car, so he felt we should live in their basement to save money.  I was like WTF.  No way.

Needless to say that marriage lasted two years.  I was gleeful when he cheated on me, it was such a relief to have a solid reason to just say get the fuck out.

Jenniy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Pretty bad concussion

Quoting smalltowngal:




Quoting Jenniy:

After his car accident he started cheating, became very abusive mentally, physically and sexually, and he started drinking and smoking pot, and was such an ass at work he was fired. While I was saving for a divorce he took our son's disability money, got an attorney and kicked our kids and I out.



Did he hit his head during the car accident? 

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smalltowngal
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:28 AM


 I have watched a special on how brain injuries can dramatically change a person's personality. It was the one situation where I could see divorcing my husband. Sorry for the loss of your old hubby. :(

Quoting Jenniy:

Pretty bad concussion

Quoting smalltowngal:




Quoting Jenniy:

After his car accident he started cheating, became very abusive mentally, physically and sexually, and he started drinking and smoking pot, and was such an ass at work he was fired. While I was saving for a divorce he took our son's disability money, got an attorney and kicked our kids and I out.



Did he hit his head during the car accident? 



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