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Help! Not a debate. Child care help.

We are in the process of hiring a live in nanny. I really need input!

Do you invite/expect your nanny to join you for meals?

Do hours have to be designated?

Should she have to tell us where she's going in our car? Should we even ask?

Is it unreasonable to ask her to keep her room tidy and presentable?

These are questions I struggle with.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:16 PM
Replies (41-45):
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:49 PM
1 mom liked this

It can be good money depending on where you live.  I nanny for one family in one town, and make 15/hr for 3 kids.  I tutor for a family in a different town and make 19/hr for 3 kids.  But I don't do it for the money, I do it because I love the families.  I wouldn't do it otherwise.

Quoting survivorinohio:

This makes me want to go into nanny work.  I recently started allowing my sons ex to give me 5-6 bucks a shift for watching my grandson and I have guilt about it, itr was her idea..  !0 dollars an hour, wow.  I made that as a caregiver though so I guess it is an acceptable rate.  But wow.  I take care of all these kids for free except for the one

Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:

I was a nanny 20+ years ago. There was only one family I liked and that was a single mother. The other 3 jobs I had ended after either a few weeks of a few months because I was very uncomfortable and taken advantage of. My first goal is to treat the nanny as I would like to be treated and with respect. But not everyone feels how I feel.

I have only interviewed one girl who owns her own car and there is no way I would hire her. Originally we were looking for a flexible baby sitter. I don't mind paying a person $10 hourly but almost every person I spoke with immediately asked about getting paid for sick days and insurance. Seriously? lol My mom actually suggested hiring a live in nanny. We have room.

We haven't bought a third vehicle yet, but we plan to. We feel like the car is a perk of the job and incentive. I wouldnt be opposed to hiring a nanny who has her own car, though. I would just want her to use ours when transporting the children.

Thanks for all the replies!



babiesbabybaby development

Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:50 PM


Quoting kailu1835:

So, I'm not a live in nanny, but I do nanny for a family that I have access to a credit card and van with.  When they have me make meals, they tell me to make enough for myself and my kids if they're with me, I don't have to tell them where I take the van, or what I buy at the store, they just ask that I be somewhat frugal.  So if I am out and the boys are hungry, I might take them to Subway, but wouldn't take them to get steak.

I have a friend who is a live in, and this is what she says:  If your nanny is a live in, she should be treated as a nanny while on duty (specific hours to be determined at the time of employment), and a roommate at any other time.  Her room is her room, you may not enter it without permission, and you may not make demands on how she keeps the room.  If your nanny is not on duty, and you need her help, and she is free to help you, then you need to pay her extra.  If she is on duty when meals are eaten, she should be able to eat with the family.  If she is off duty during, say, dinner, then it is up to you whether or not you'd like to invite her to dinner.... remember, off duty, she's a roommate, nothing more, so treat her like you would a roommate.  Vehicle useage is up to the individual, but she shouldn't use your car unless she has your children with her.

Hope this helps :)

Thanks for your input!

kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

No problem :)  Something I want to add is that whenever you hire someone to live with you, go above and beyond any basic background check you'd normally do on a nanny.  There are more indepth background checks that can be done.  Heck, check her social media if her profiles are public.  A friend of mine didn't find out until AFTER she'd invited someone to be her live-in nanny that the woman was a freaking party animal.  So while she never did drugs or alcohol in her room, sometimes she'd come home late at night drunk or high out of her mind.  While it didn't get in the way of taking care of the kids (since she was always sober in time to take care of them) it was something that was not healthy, and she didn't want her kids around it. That's something she would have caught on facebook.

Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:


Quoting kailu1835:

So, I'm not a live in nanny, but I do nanny for a family that I have access to a credit card and van with.  When they have me make meals, they tell me to make enough for myself and my kids if they're with me, I don't have to tell them where I take the van, or what I buy at the store, they just ask that I be somewhat frugal.  So if I am out and the boys are hungry, I might take them to Subway, but wouldn't take them to get steak.

I have a friend who is a live in, and this is what she says:  If your nanny is a live in, she should be treated as a nanny while on duty (specific hours to be determined at the time of employment), and a roommate at any other time.  Her room is her room, you may not enter it without permission, and you may not make demands on how she keeps the room.  If your nanny is not on duty, and you need her help, and she is free to help you, then you need to pay her extra.  If she is on duty when meals are eaten, she should be able to eat with the family.  If she is off duty during, say, dinner, then it is up to you whether or not you'd like to invite her to dinner.... remember, off duty, she's a roommate, nothing more, so treat her like you would a roommate.  Vehicle useage is up to the individual, but she shouldn't use your car unless she has your children with her.

Hope this helps :)

Thanks for your input!


babiesbabybaby development

matofour
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:00 PM
I was a nanny for six years, same family. I lived there a majority of the time.

Hours: make set hours, for you and her benefit.

Dinner: assume she will eat with you, unless she makes other plans (ask to know in advance)

Her room, her space. Shut the door, and just don't look.

As far as a car, if you have a car for her to use. I think you need to trust her, I wouldn't want to tell my employers where I was at all times. And, you may want to rethink your passenger rule as well. Trust, is trust. I know I had many friends, and we would go out for dinner, the mall, etc. not being able to have my friends in the car would of made life much harder. I think if something happens, you make that rule. But, until something happens, you need to trust in her.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Veni.Vidi.Vici.
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:20 PM


Quoting matofour:

I was a nanny for six years, same family. I lived there a majority of the time.

Hours: make set hours, for you and her benefit.

Dinner: assume she will eat with you, unless she makes other plans (ask to know in advance)

Her room, her space. Shut the door, and just don't look.

As far as a car, if you have a car for her to use. I think you need to trust her, I wouldn't want to tell my employers where I was at all times. And, you may want to rethink your passenger rule as well. Trust, is trust. I know I had many friends, and we would go out for dinner, the mall, etc. not being able to have my friends in the car would of made life much harder. I think if something happens, you make that rule. But, until something happens, you need to trust in her.


Thanks for your input. Please understand that the car isn't a trust issue. It's an insurance issue. I may trust the nanny but how can I trust that in an accident that her passengers will not sue our insurance.  Perhaps I will make it clear that of she feels that no passengers is an issue that she should obtain her own vehicle.


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