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Was this offensive? (Church related) Edit~

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Poll

Question: Was what I said so offensive?

Options:

No, I don't think it was offensive at all.

Hmm...it was a little innapropriate.

Yes it was wrong. You shouldn't have said that about God.


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 220

View Results

It turns out many of the other kids had phones. The other lady in charge was shocked that Bob would react that way. She understood how important it is for parents to be able to contact their kids and that she felt cell phones were a great idea. She then apologised and said if I allow Savannah to go to the camp this summer she'll make sure she brings her phone. I feel slightly better,lol.

My 13yo dd is going to camp with the church. They'll be gone for three days and she is soo excited :-) I'm sure she'll have a great time but there's just one problem. No cell phones are allowed. I told her no problem, as long as she's able to borrow one and give me a call at night it'll be fine.

So when I dropped her off yesterday I sought out her youth leader to confirm that she'll be able to call me.

Me: Hey Bob, I understand that no cell phones are allowed but I need to make sure that Savannah call call me at night to check in.

Bob: Well...I hope that there are some pay phones near by.

Me: *Raises eyebrow* Why can't she borrow an adults cell phone?

Bob: Well you see we discourage phone calls because we want the kids to focus on God.

Savannah: I'm just going to be calling her at night.

Bob: Isn't God with you at night?

Me: I don't care where God is. There's no way I'm going to go three days without speaking to my daughter. Can she use a phone or not?

At this point Bob looks like I kicked his dog. The whole group goes silent.

Bob murmurs: Interesting... Okay she can she my phone.

I leave the shocked silence of the group.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM
Replies (131-140):
Kaylawv2
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I would feel the same as you. At 13 I would want a daily check in with my child. I wouldn't allow her to go if she wasnt allowed either.
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TexasWife
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I use to go to church camp before cell phones. Every camp I went to had pay phones outside of the mess hall. It also had a emergency phone in the nurses cabin. She probably wouldn't have to go searching to find them. The reason he probably said interesting is the fact that you said "I don't care where God is."

mlg1989
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Ok IMO it was a little rude considering you know their stance on beliefs. You shouldn't of said that considering you are allowing your child to participate in the first place.

However I'm not sure why they can't just let her call to check in for five minutes. Its not a big at all, five minutes with mom wont take her focus off God.
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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:39 PM

Every child is different. My dd isn't as mature as other 13 year olds, She has a tendency to follow along with what everyone else is doing regardless of the consequences. So for her I feel a phone every night will help keep her grounded.

As for college? I'd like a weekly phone call to keep in touch.

Quoting punky3175:

It's 3 days. Not 3 weeks or 3 months. They have emergency contact numbers so if something happens parents can be contacted. I'm with Peanut - I don't see any reason to be so clingy to a teenage child. They have to learn to be on their own and a 3 day church trip sounds like a good starting point away from Mommy. It's supervised and safe. When she goes to college are you going to demand daily phone calls?

Quoting paganbaby:

Regardless of her age, a rule that no child is allowed to contact their parents for the entire trip waves all kinds of warning flags. I can't comprehend what parent in their right mind would be okay with that.

Quoting TTC2Long:

Honestly, I think you were inappropriate. She's 13. Not 5. And they have those rules for a reason. Don't like it, don't send her, which would be pretty cruel, imo.



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viv212
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
This is how most churches function when they go camping. I honestly wish they would have told you there's no reception so no cells work.

I don't get you. You want to drop your kids off at church to learn about God, then you forbid crucifixes and think your child shouldn't follow the rules.

I thought she was punished anyway. Or is that over?
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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Yes! And it depends on the child also. When my son or other daughter is 13, we'll re visit the issue.

Quoting finnbar:

Personally, i might allow a 13 year old to be incomunicado for three days too. But that's a personal unique family decision, and other families have other ways.



Quoting Peanutx3:

OK.  A 13 year old getting pregnant does reflect on her parents.  There is a fine line between keeping your child under strict supervision and letting them explore the world.  I personally think it is fine to allow a 13 year old 3 days without contacting a parent.

Quoting finnbar:

My boss is a middle school teacher and one of her 13 year olds just gave birth. So actually, it's not unreasonable to keep close tabs on a child that age.





Quoting Peanutx3:

It's 3 days!!!!  Your daughter is 13.  Why can't she go without talking to you for a few days?  It may be time to let your daughter have a little space.

Quoting paganbaby:

The rules were no cell phones. I agreed. What I don't agree with is no contact with with her parents for the entire trip. And no, if she wasn't allowed to call me then she wasn't allowed to go.

Quoting Peanutx3:

If those are the rules of the camp why shouldn't your daughter follow the rules if she wants to go?








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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:43 PM

No the adults have cell phones. The kids just aren't allowed to make any calls.

Quoting AlekD:

That's pretty weird that not even the adults have phones. What if something happened? 


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paganbaby
by Teflon Don on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:44 PM

I'm with you there!

Quoting aimeegreen4ever:

If I expect a phone call from DS when he's with my ex, his father, to make sure he is ok then I would expect a phone call from DS when he's not with family!


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viv212
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:45 PM
But this is a retreat.

That means separating from outside things/people and focusing on yourself. No tv's, no phones, no computers, no newspapers... That's the whole point.


Quoting thecoffeefairy:

It's crazy to not allow phone calls. Keeping the lines of communication open between child and parent is important. I'm sure god will understand.
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AlekD
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:46 PM

Oh I see, I must've misread. That't still odd though, especially since it's overnight. I think most kids like to say goodnight to mom or dad before bed... The whole conversation seems bizarre on his part, he doesn't want the kids to call their parents....so they can focus on God? O_o. Maybe he was baiting you?

Quoting paganbaby:

No the adults have cell phones. The kids just aren't allowed to make any calls.

Quoting AlekD:

That's pretty weird that not even the adults have phones. What if something happened? 



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If you reprove someone, you yourself get carried away by anger and you are satisfying your own passion; do not lose yourself, therefore, in order to save another


  



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