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Was this offensive? (Church related) Edit~

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Poll

Question: Was what I said so offensive?

Options:

No, I don't think it was offensive at all.

Hmm...it was a little innapropriate.

Yes it was wrong. You shouldn't have said that about God.


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Total Votes: 220

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It turns out many of the other kids had phones. The other lady in charge was shocked that Bob would react that way. She understood how important it is for parents to be able to contact their kids and that she felt cell phones were a great idea. She then apologised and said if I allow Savannah to go to the camp this summer she'll make sure she brings her phone. I feel slightly better,lol.

My 13yo dd is going to camp with the church. They'll be gone for three days and she is soo excited :-) I'm sure she'll have a great time but there's just one problem. No cell phones are allowed. I told her no problem, as long as she's able to borrow one and give me a call at night it'll be fine.

So when I dropped her off yesterday I sought out her youth leader to confirm that she'll be able to call me.

Me: Hey Bob, I understand that no cell phones are allowed but I need to make sure that Savannah call call me at night to check in.

Bob: Well...I hope that there are some pay phones near by.

Me: *Raises eyebrow* Why can't she borrow an adults cell phone?

Bob: Well you see we discourage phone calls because we want the kids to focus on God.

Savannah: I'm just going to be calling her at night.

Bob: Isn't God with you at night?

Me: I don't care where God is. There's no way I'm going to go three days without speaking to my daughter. Can she use a phone or not?

At this point Bob looks like I kicked his dog. The whole group goes silent.

Bob murmurs: Interesting... Okay she can she my phone.

I leave the shocked silence of the group.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM
Replies (151-160):
FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:53 PM


Quoting viv212:

Oh Pagan.

The type of parent that would be ok with this is one who knows what the church and its people are about.


Quoting paganbaby:

Regardless of her age, a rule that no child is allowed to contact their parents for the entire trip waves all kinds of warning flags. I can't comprehend what parent in their right mind would be okay with that.

Quoting TTC2Long:

Honestly, I think you were inappropriate. She's 13. Not 5. And they have those rules for a reason. Don't like it, don't send her, which would be pretty cruel, imo.


Exactly.  

If Pagan knew these people and made the effort to know them, on her own, and did not trust them, she should stop sending her child to Church and using the Church as an excuse to babysit her child.

If you do not trust the adults or your own child, the child has no business being part of the retreat.


talia-mom
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:59 PM

it is a retreat.

You have no respect for their rules, so stop sending your child. 


Quoting paganbaby:

I was floored. Why would they fight so hard to make sure my dd has no contact with me??

Quoting LoveMyBoyK:

No, I agree with you. And I think it is ridiculous they would not offer a way for kids to check in and balked when you suggested using an adult's phone.




12hellokitty
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I'm curious as to if some of the people who think Bob is a jerk, have any idea of how much goes into taking a group of kids on a 3 day retreat?  Yeah Bob sounds like a jerk for most likely volunteering his time to teach kids about God....


ms-superwoman
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Actually, I think you were pretty tame. I agree no cell phones are fine. BUT There should be no reason your child cannot contact you, for any reason. I wouldn't allow my child to go to a camp where I couldn't have any contact.

1L2CMommy
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:04 PM
You can't trust your 13 year old alone for 3 days with a church group?? How bad can she be, or how much danger could she be in? Totally not religious related....but how will she ever become trustworthy if you don't trust her?
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viv212
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Have you ever been on a religious retreat?

Calling anyone does take away from the experience. It makes you come home renewed and missing family. You feel refreshed after. And this is coming from someone who isn't religious.


Quoting AlekD:

I get that, but these are kids. I don't think that saying goodnight to mom and dad is going to ruin their retreat experience.

Quoting viv212:

But this is a retreat.



That means separating from outside things/people and focusing on yourself. No tv's, no phones, no computers, no newspapers... That's the whole point.




Quoting thecoffeefairy:

It's crazy to not allow phone calls. Keeping the lines of communication open between child and parent is important. I'm sure god will understand.


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AlekD
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:09 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm not trying to argue. I'm sure you are right about that. I'm only saying that I think minor children on overnight retreats should have the option of contacting their parents if they want.

Quoting viv212:

Have you ever been on a religious retreat?

Calling anyone does take away from the experience. It makes you come home renewed and missing family. You feel refreshed after. And this is coming from someone who isn't religious.


Quoting AlekD:

I get that, but these are kids. I don't think that saying goodnight to mom and dad is going to ruin their retreat experience.

Quoting viv212:

But this is a retreat.



That means separating from outside things/people and focusing on yourself. No tv's, no phones, no computers, no newspapers... That's the whole point.




Quoting thecoffeefairy:

It's crazy to not allow phone calls. Keeping the lines of communication open between child and parent is important. I'm sure god will understand.



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viv212
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:10 PM
If you can't cut the umbilical cord at 13, and the child is put into an awkward/possible child molestation "event" they will not know what to do or how to react without calling mom.

We have to let our kids live a little and learn from experience. Keeping them closed in only makes them naive.

If Pagan was THAT worried, she should have went along of not let her go.


Quoting thecoffeefairy:

That's great but the parent thread is vital to kids' safety. Keeping that line open makes the councillors more accountable. Not everyone is as honest and kind hearted as they appear. With shootings, pedophiles and child abusers everywhere, it is harder and harder to have blind faith. I would not risk it. There should be some peace of mind.




Quoting viv212:

But this is a retreat.





That means separating from outside things/people and focusing on yourself. No tv's, no phones, no computers, no newspapers... That's the whole point.






Quoting thecoffeefairy:

It's crazy to not allow phone calls. Keeping the lines of communication open between child and parent is important. I'm sure god will understand.

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thecoffeefairy
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this
That's silly. A simple phone call is a good, reasonable middle ground.


Quoting viv212:

If you can't cut the umbilical cord at 13, and the child is put into an awkward/possible child molestation "event" they will not know what to do or how to react without calling mom.



We have to let our kids live a little and learn from experience. Keeping them closed in only makes them naive.



If Pagan was THAT worried, she should have went along of not let her go.




Quoting thecoffeefairy:

That's great but the parent thread is vital to kids' safety. Keeping that line open makes the councillors more accountable. Not everyone is as honest and kind hearted as they appear. With shootings, pedophiles and child abusers everywhere, it is harder and harder to have blind faith. I would not risk it. There should be some peace of mind.






Quoting viv212:

But this is a retreat.







That means separating from outside things/people and focusing on yourself. No tv's, no phones, no computers, no newspapers... That's the whole point.








Quoting thecoffeefairy:

It's crazy to not allow phone calls. Keeping the lines of communication open between child and parent is important. I'm sure god will understand.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Hmmm maybe it's the stereotypical Jewish mom in me (ok I am) but I want the check-in call. My kids don't question this from me because it's how our family is. Hell if my kids are in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes I'm knocking on the door asking if they're ok and if they need pepto. Every family operates under a different protective umbrella. It is what it is. Pagan isn't any more wrong than the parent that doesn't require a call. Lol to this day if I call MY mom after 9pm she answers the phone "OMG what's wrong?"
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