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Wife Beating In Islam, No More Than 10 Blows!

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Maybe one day women will be able to have basic human rights. Do you think it can happen or do you think customs that are older than dirt will continue forever? 

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:19 PM
Replies (31-40):
stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:05 PM

What is your source for this compilation of quotes?

Quoting Imacakebaker:

Question:

Does Islam permit a man to hit his wife?


Summary Answer
:

Yes, but only if she doesn't do as he asks. The beating must cease if the woman complies with her husband's demands. Beating is also intended to be the last resort of coercing submission, behind verbal abuse and abandonment.

According her testimony in the Hadith, Muhammad, physically struck his favorite wife for leaving the house without his permission. It is not known how he treated his less-favored wives.


The Qur'an:

Qur'an (4:34) - "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."

Qur'an (38:44) - "And take in your hand a green branch and beat her with it, and do not break your oath..." Allah telling Job to beat his wife.


From the Hadith:


Bukhari (72:715) - A woman came to Muhammad and begged her to stop her husband from beating her. Her skin was bruised so badly that she it is described as being "greener" than the green veil she was wearing. Muhammad did not admonish her husband, but instead ordered her to return to him and submit to his sexual desires.


Bukhari (72:715) - "Aisha said, 'I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women'" This is Muhammad's own wife complaining of the abuse that the women of her religions suffer relative to other women.


Muslim (4:2127) - Muhammad struck his favorite wife, Aisha, in the chest one evening when she left the house without his permission. Aisha narrates, "He struck me on the chest which caused me pain."


Muslim (9:3506) - Muhammad's father-in-laws (Abu Bakr and Umar) amused him by slapping his wives (Aisha and Hafsa) for annoying him. According to the Hadith, the prophet of Islam laughed upon hearing this.


Abu Dawud (2141) - "Iyas bin ‘Abd Allah bin Abi Dhubab reported the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: Do not beat Allah’s handmaidens, but when ‘Umar came to the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) and said: Women have become emboldened towards their husbands, he (the Prophet) gave permission to beat them." At first, Muhammad forbade men from beating their wives, but he rescinded this once it was reported that women were becoming emboldened toward their husbands. Beatings are sometimes necessary to keep women in their place.


Abu Dawud (2142) - "The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife."


Abu Dawud (2126) - "A man from the Ansar called Basrah said: 'I married a virgin woman in her veil. When I entered upon her, I found her pregnant. (I mentioned this to the Prophet).' The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: 'She will get the dower, for you made her vagina lawful for you. The child will be your slave. When she has begotten (a child), flog her'" A Muslim man thinks his is getting a virgin, then finds out she is pregnant. Muhammad tells him to treat the woman as a sex slave and then flog her after she has delivered the child.


Ibn Ishaq/Hisham 969 - Requires that a married woman be "put in a separate room and beaten lightly" if she "act in a sexual manner toward others." According to the Hadith, this can be for an offense as petty as merely being alone with a man to whom she is not related.


Kash-shaf (the revealer) of al-Zamkhshari (Vol. 1, p. 525) - [Muhammad said] "Hang up your scourge where your wife can see it"


I never know why a woman would choose to be a muslim or marry one.


stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:16 PM

Some ‘Muslim’ men think that their religion supports them in abusing women. Not only by beating them, also by denying them equal rights at best, giving them little to no rights at all far too often.

Sincere students of the Quran know that this does not in any way represent the system God has decreed for His worshippers. Just as everything is open for abuse, the verse decreed to actually protect women against the violent tendencies in men has also been abused. Submission (Islam) prohibits all forms of oppression, including spousal abuse.

The verse:

[4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

At first glance people may interpret this verse as saying:

  1. Women have to obey their husbands blindly.
  2. Men can beat women if they don’t do what they want them to.
  3. Women have to stay at home.

Scrutinizing those interpretations on the basis of the whole Quran quickly generates an entirely different picture. We see instead that God prohibits wife-beating by using the best psychological approach. For example, if I don't want you to shop at Market X, I will ask you to shop at Market Y, then at Market Z, then, as a last resort, at Market X. This will effectively stop you from shopping at Market X, without insulting you. Similarly, God provides alternatives to wife-beating; reasoning with her first, then employing certain negative incentives. Remember that the theme of this sura is defending the women's rights and countering the prevalent oppression of women. Any interpretation of the verses of this sura must be in favor of the women. This sura's theme is "protection of women."

What also becomes blatantly obvious is that the practice of abusing women in the name of Islam is not because if the teachings in the Quran, but because of the misinterpretation of the same, plus the adherence to the innovations called Hadith and Sunna. To read more about these false teachings attributed to Islam, please visit: http://www.submission.info/hadith/

http://www.submission.info/perspectives/women/wifebeating.html

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:16 PM

Kind Treatment of Wives

God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability:

“…And live with them in kindness…” (Quran 4:19)

The Messenger of God said, The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character.  The best of you are those who are the best to their women.’[1]  The Prophet of Mercy tells us that a husband’s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim’s good character, which in turn is a reflection of the man’s faith.  How can a Muslim husband be good to his wife?  He should smile, not hurt her emotionally, remove anything that will harm her, treat her gently, and be patient with her.

Being nice includes good communication.  A husband should be willing to open up, and be willing to listen to his wife.  Many times a husband wants to air his frustrations (like work).  He should not forget to ask her about what annoys her (like when children would not do their homework).  A husband should not talk about important things with her when he or his wife is angry, tired, or hungry.  Communication, compromise, and consideration are the cornerstone of marriage.

Being nice includes encouraging one’s wife.  The most meaningful admiration comes from a sincere heart that notices what really matters — what the wife really values.  So a husband should ask himself what she feels most insecure about and discover what she values.  That is the wife’s sweet spot of praise.  The more the husband compliments it, the more the wife will admire it, the more on target this healthy habit will be.  Kind words are like, “I like the way you think,” “You look beautiful in those clothes,” and “I love hearing your voice on the phone.”

Human beings are imperfect.  The Messenger of God said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman.  If he dislikes something in her character, he should be pleased with some other trait of hers.”[2]  A man should not hate his wife because if he dislikes something in her, he will find something he likes about her if he gives it a chance.  One way to be aware of what he likes in his wife is for the husband to make a list of a half dozen things he appreciates about her.  Marriage experts recommend that one be as specific as possible and focus on character traits — just as the Prophet of Islam recommended, not just what she does for the husband.  For example, a husband may appreciate the way she arranges his clean laundry, but the underlying character trait may be that she is thoughtful.  The husband should consider admirable traits such as being compassionate, generous, kind, devout, creative, elegant, honest, affectionate, energetic, gentle, optimistic, committed, faithful, confident, cheerful, and so on.  A husband should give himself some time to construct this list, and review it in times of conflict when he is most likely to feel averse towards his wife.  It will help him be more aware of his wife’s good attributes and far more likely to compliment them.

A companion asked the Prophet of God what is the right of a wife over her husband?’  He said, “That you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face.  Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house.”[3]

Conflict in marriage is virtually inevitable and it leads to lot of anger.  Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step toward controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us.  In case of conflict, a husband should not stop talking to his wife and emotionally hurt her, but he may stop sleeping in the same bed if it will improve the situation.  Under no circumstance, even when he is angry or somehow feels justified, is a husband allowed to malign her by using hurtful words or cause her any injury.

punky3175
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:32 AM
Actually you'd be wrong. But I haven't really seen it.

Quoting 12hellokitty:

 




Quoting punky3175:

Wow - it really is Muslim bashing week up in here.



 LOL, unfortunately the Christian bashing never lets up...but I'm sure your not concerned with that.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Clairwil
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:05 AM
Quoting stacymomof2:

Quoting greenie63:

ChnpaMK1oLQ
Do you know that MEMRI is a hate group?  I think it's odd that a prof would be showing videos from a hate group.  

MEMRI has been caught by reputable organizations mistranslating and selectively editing videos. 

Thank you.   I knew something was off about that video, because some bits (the doing it only if the wife refuses to sleep with the husband) contradicted what I already knew about this topic, so I googled "MEMRI TV" and looked at their website.

I stopped too soon.  They looked legit. :-(

If I'd searched further, I'd have found wikipedia:

Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) is a United States not for profit[1] press monitoring organization with headquarters located in Washington, DC. MEMRI was co-founded in 1998 by Yigal Carmon, a former colonel in the Israeli military intelligence and Meyrav Wurmser, an Israeli-born, American political scientist.[1] MEMRI states that its goal is to "bridge the language gap that exists between the Middle East and the West." It publishes and distributes free English language translations of material from Arabic, Persian, Urdu-Pashtu, and Turkish media, and publishes analyses and reports. MEMRI offers specialized content for a fee.[2] Critics charge that it aims to portray the Arab and Muslim world in a negative light, through the production and dissemination of inaccurate translations and through selectivity in choosing extreme views to publicize.


sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:25 AM
1 mom liked this

every other week apparently....


Quoting punky3175:

Wow - it really is Muslim bashing week up in here.


sweet-a-kins
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:27 AM
1 mom liked this

men have used the Bible and the USA law to beat Christian women for YEARS...only RECENTLY has it been frowned upon and somewhat prosecuted

Quoting stacymomof2:

Some ‘Muslim’ men think that their religion supports them in abusing women. Not only by beating them, also by denying them equal rights at best, giving them little to no rights at all far too often.

Sincere students of the Quran know that this does not in any way represent the system God has decreed for His worshippers. Just as everything is open for abuse, the verse decreed to actually protect women against the violent tendencies in men has also been abused. Submission (Islam) prohibits all forms of oppression, including spousal abuse.

The verse:

[4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

At first glance people may interpret this verse as saying:

  1. Women have to obey their husbands blindly.
  2. Men can beat women if they don’t do what they want them to.
  3. Women have to stay at home.

Scrutinizing those interpretations on the basis of the whole Quran quickly generates an entirely different picture. We see instead that God prohibits wife-beating by using the best psychological approach. For example, if I don't want you to shop at Market X, I will ask you to shop at Market Y, then at Market Z, then, as a last resort, at Market X. This will effectively stop you from shopping at Market X, without insulting you. Similarly, God provides alternatives to wife-beating; reasoning with her first, then employing certain negative incentives. Remember that the theme of this sura is defending the women's rights and countering the prevalent oppression of women. Any interpretation of the verses of this sura must be in favor of the women. This sura's theme is "protection of women."

What also becomes blatantly obvious is that the practice of abusing women in the name of Islam is not because if the teachings in the Quran, but because of the misinterpretation of the same, plus the adherence to the innovations called Hadith and Sunna. To read more about these false teachings attributed to Islam, please visit: http://www.submission.info/hadith/

http://www.submission.info/perspectives/women/wifebeating.html


muslimah
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Ladybugmama86:

 Did you know that in GA (savannah) you can beat your wife on Sunday on the courthouse steps, as long as you beat her with a rod no bigger then your thumb? Its in the citys rules.

But I do feel very bad for these women, but all islamic women are treated like dirt and a lot of muslim women that I have known.... It is very sad.

 I have never been treated like dirt and in ALL my life neither has any other Muslim women I've known and 99.9% of the people I know are Muslims from all over the world.

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:31 AM

It's the same thing all the time.  They aren't going to interview an average Imam or Muslim person, what they will do is find the equivalent to that Phelps or any other wacko outside of the mainstream, and act like this is the guy that all Muslims follow, that his views are mainstream and accepted.

I know there are rights abuses in Muslim nations, like the Taliban shooting that young woman because she is talking about educating women.  However if anyone cares to look at the representation of women in governments, as university teachers and students in Muslim countries, and in countries around the world, they will see that educating women is considered as important as educating a man, that women are encouraged and expected to perform at high levels.  They value women's contributions and fully integrate them.  There are several Muslim countries with elected female heads of state, something the good ol' USA hasn't achieved yet.

Of all the muslim women I know, raised in Muslim countries and here in the US, they all have at least a college education and several have advanced degrees including my husband's 4 sisters, all the women at the Qar'an school that my daughter attends, and people I meet out and about.  I'm not saying there aren't problems, but lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater here.  People need to have a little understanding about what they are talking about before they start just telling women their religion is wrong and they need to leave it or rebel.  It should be a knowledgeable approach, with an understanding that Islam addresses women's rights issues.

As many of the Muslimahs have pointed out, Islam was revolutionary in a time when women were treated like chattel.  It insists that a woman has a right to her own earnings, to choose her career, to own and operate business without the interference of her husband.  This from 1400 years ago.  While secular people in current times balk at "lightly tap" (and I do, too) remember this is a time when people would regularly beat their wives to death and feel they had the right.  Islam came about in that society.

Be that as it may most Muslim men (and most Christian men, Jewish men, and any other religion or non religion) wouldn't hit their wife because they love her and respect her, and they are not bullies or abusers.  Of course.

Sorry for the long post, got on a roll.

Quoting Clairwil:

Quoting stacymomof2:

Quoting greenie63:

ChnpaMK1oLQ
Do you know that MEMRI is a hate group?  I think it's odd that a prof would be showing videos from a hate group.  

MEMRI has been caught by reputable organizations mistranslating and selectively editing videos. 

Thank you.   I knew something was off about that video, because some bits (the doing it only if the wife refuses to sleep with the husband) contradicted what I already knew about this topic, so I googled "MEMRI TV" and looked at their website.

I stopped too soon.  They looked legit. :-(

If I'd searched further, I'd have found wikipedia:

Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) is a United States not for profit[1] press monitoring organization with headquarters located in Washington, DC. MEMRI was co-founded in 1998 by Yigal Carmon, a former colonel in the Israeli military intelligence and Meyrav Wurmser, an Israeli-born, American political scientist.[1] MEMRI states that its goal is to "bridge the language gap that exists between the Middle East and the West." It publishes and distributes free English language translations of material from Arabic, Persian, Urdu-Pashtu, and Turkish media, and publishes analyses and reports. MEMRI offers specialized content for a fee.[2] Critics charge that it aims to portray the Arab and Muslim world in a negative light, through the production and dissemination of inaccurate translations and through selectivity in choosing extreme views to publicize.



krysstizzle
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:45 AM
2 moms liked this

Do you know how many women are abused in the U.S. each year? A fucking lot. And in a country that self identifies as more than 70% Christian, we can then say that hundreds of millions of Christian women are beat by their partners. 

So... Yeah, these arguments don't fucking hold.

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