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What does 'earning it' consist of?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:42 PM
  • 33 Replies

In most states, etc., a spouse (male or female) is legally entitled up to 1/2 of the other spouse's retirement pay.  Of course there are variables but go with me here........

Many people feel the receiving spouse did not 'earn it'.  

So, in your opinion, what does 'earning it' consist of?

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GOBryan
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this

That you did something to help contribute to that monetary creation. For example, a couple that gets married young and the wife is working and supporting husband while in law school. Later he becomes a lawyer and becomes successful. Divorces 60 year old wife for 2 30 year olds after contributing to his success and maybe 40 years of marriage... She earned a percentage of his retirement, etc. or he died... 

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:17 PM


Quoting GOBryan:

That you did something to help contribute to that monetary creation. For example, a couple that gets married young and the wife is working and supporting husband while in law school. Later he becomes a lawyer and becomes successful. Divorces 60 year old wife for 2 30 year olds after contributing to his success and maybe 40 years of marriage... She earned a percentage of his retirement, etc. or he died... 

I could not help but giggle at your scenerio. lol

What if the wife, or the husband, stayed home with the children?  

Trixi.VonLace
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:20 PM
I agree with this, but want to add, a wife who chose to not peruse a career of her own to emotionally support her husband, take care of the children and and all his needs to make his career possible.

Eta: or the other way around


Quoting GOBryan:

That you did something to help contribute to that monetary creation. For example, a couple that gets married young and the wife is working and supporting husband while in law school. Later he becomes a lawyer and becomes successful. Divorces 60 year old wife for 2 30 year olds after contributing to his success and maybe 40 years of marriage... She earned a percentage of his retirement, etc. or he died... 

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lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:21 PM

I am a firm believer in prenups. 

GOBryan
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:23 PM


Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting GOBryan:

That you did something to help contribute to that monetary creation. For example, a couple that gets married young and the wife is working and supporting husband while in law school. Later he becomes a lawyer and becomes successful. Divorces 60 year old wife for 2 30 year olds after contributing to his success and maybe 40 years of marriage... She earned a percentage of his retirement, etc. or he died... 

I could not help but giggle at your scenerio. lol

What if the wife, or the husband, stayed home with the children?  

I don't consider staying home and raising children earning it. I was a housewife for 5 years and it was the easiest thing I ever did. When I worked outside the house I STILL had to do all that housework, watch the kids when I was home AND work outside the home.. It's much more work IMO.. than staying home BUT if the husband insisted that she stay home and be a housewife and raise the kids while he worked and got his degree.. I'd probably say that she would be due something, although not as much, only because he didn't give her an opportunity to prepare herself and make a living. 

Now, I don't agree with Alimony at all unless there are special circumstances. Divorce is divorce but since we're speaking retirement, that may be a little different. 

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:23 PM


Quoting lizzielouaf:

I am a firm believer in prenups. 

I can see this, for those who care to go down that road.

It seems there are those who are making an attempt to have such laws overturned.  I have tried to google to see what I could find, which was nothing.

lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:25 PM

It protects both parties. Laws can always be challenged and even potentially be overturned but with a prenup it's a lot more difficult.


Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting lizzielouaf:

I am a firm believer in prenups. 

I can see this, for those who care to go down that road.

It seems there are those who are making an attempt to have such laws overturned.  I have tried to google to see what I could find, which was nothing.



Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:28 PM

I really don't know.

My ex husband refuses to work and went after my retirement as well as alimony and child support and part of my business.

The courts laughed in his face.

He did NOTHING to earn anything as I did all the housework, all the maintenance AND took our child to work with me everyday.


FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:29 PM


Quoting GOBryan:


Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting GOBryan:

That you did something to help contribute to that monetary creation. For example, a couple that gets married young and the wife is working and supporting husband while in law school. Later he becomes a lawyer and becomes successful. Divorces 60 year old wife for 2 30 year olds after contributing to his success and maybe 40 years of marriage... She earned a percentage of his retirement, etc. or he died... 

I could not help but giggle at your scenerio. lol

What if the wife, or the husband, stayed home with the children?  

I don't consider staying home and raising children earning it. I was a housewife for 5 years and it was the easiest thing I ever did. When I worked outside the house I STILL had to do all that housework, watch the kids when I was home AND work outside the work.. It's much more work IMO.. than staying home BUT if the husband insisted that she stay home and be a housewife and raise the kids while he worked and got his degree.. I'd probably say that she would be due something, although not as much, only because he didn't give her an opportunity to prepare herself and make a living. 

Now, I don't agree with Alimony at all unless there are special circumstances. Divorce is divorce but since we're speaking retirement, that may be a little different. 

I guess opinions are based on our own personal experiences and such.

I know that, for me, neither my attorney nor myself requested alimony in my divorce yet the judge ordered it.  I was as floored as my ex husband.

I know of a woman who stayed home with her four children throughout her entire marriage.  From what little I know, her marriage was anything other than pleasant, she was unhappy and did very little to contribute in any aspect.  Yet some how, their marriage lasted over that 10 year mark and she was awarded half of his retirement.

In my divorce, I was awarded  half of my ex husband's military retirement.  It just seemed to roll on in to the entire situation.  Now, my ex did make a case, or an attempt, stating I had not worked the last 6 years of our marriage so he felt I did not deserve half.  The judge asked if I stayed home without his 'permisson'.  No.  We had agreed.  The judge pointed out that I gave up my career to follow his.  Half of the retirement awarded.  To this day, he is still pissed off and would still like to find a way to get out of it.  He even offered to never go for any custody of our daughter if I signed off on his retirement. *sigh* 

I am curious to see if any thing is ever done in regards to the spouse automatically receiving half.

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:29 PM

Also, status quo is hugely powerful in family court state to state. It is very hard to combat that...

Quoting lizzielouaf:

It protects both parties. Laws can always be challenged and even potentially be overturned but with a prenup it's a lot more difficult.


Quoting FromAtoZ:


Quoting lizzielouaf:

I am a firm believer in prenups. 

I can see this, for those who care to go down that road.

It seems there are those who are making an attempt to have such laws overturned.  I have tried to google to see what I could find, which was nothing.





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