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Dating Rules??

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:29 AM
  • 13 Replies

 So my oldest is almost 15 and I know dating will be an issue soon.  I never really thought of any "rules".  I have never been a huge rule parent.  I trust her judgement but I am sure there should be some boundaries.  I have a friend who makes the boy come over for dinner before they can go out on a date.  I think that is overkill.  It also makes the relationship seem serious when I prefer her to just date.

 

Anyway, what are or have been your dating rules?

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
romalove
by Roma on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I never had dating rules.  My son really didn't start dating until he was 18, and he was too old for rules.  My middle daughter had boyfriends in high school, but they were serial boyfriends.  There was no "casual dating", it was more like "will you go out with me" and they would be exclusive until the relationship ended.  My youngest is 16 now (will be 17 next month uggghhhhh) and she is now having her first real boyfriend.  The boy comes from a very protective family, and they have been very good friends for a couple of years, and only recently changed the relationship over to boyfriend/girlfriend.  I haven't instituted rules for her because I haven't seen a need as of yet.  Mostly they don't "go out" but come here and hang out or go to his house and hang out lol.  They neither of them work so they have no money!

The only real rules I would have would be that schoolwork can't suffer because of spending too much time or if you want a curfew enforced.

UpSheRises
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:46 AM

My parents were pretty strick. I wasn't allowed to get in a car with a boy until i was 16 then and they were very restrictive about how long i was gone.

For examle, if i was going out to dinner with a boy and he picked me up at 6p i'd have to be home at 7. Not 7:05, 7. I had to be home at 11p for my senior prom.

Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 9:19 AM

 My dd has a crush on a boy but I have no idea if it will turn in to anything.  THey are good friends but I don't know how he feels.  Up until this point, she hasn't shown an interest in dating. I agree about the schoolwork though. I would definitely insist on that. My parents were kind of laid back.  It worked for me but not my sister.  She needed more rules and structure. I guess it depends on the maturity and responsbility of the child.

Quoting romalove:

I never had dating rules.  My son really didn't start dating until he was 18, and he was too old for rules.  My middle daughter had boyfriends in high school, but they were serial boyfriends.  There was no "casual dating", it was more like "will you go out with me" and they would be exclusive until the relationship ended.  My youngest is 16 now (will be 17 next month uggghhhhh) and she is now having her first real boyfriend.  The boy comes from a very protective family, and they have been very good friends for a couple of years, and only recently changed the relationship over to boyfriend/girlfriend.  I haven't instituted rules for her because I haven't seen a need as of yet.  Mostly they don't "go out" but come here and hang out or go to his house and hang out lol.  They neither of them work so they have no money!

The only real rules I would have would be that schoolwork can't suffer because of spending too much time or if you want a curfew enforced.

 

Euphoric
by Bazinga! on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:41 AM

 I haven't thought about it yet.

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:17 PM

My rule for myself was always "never trust teenagers". haha

My kids always dated within their circle, so I already knew the kids before they dated them. My kids were pretty good at picking 'like kind', so the other parents were on the same page.....hours, etc.

Debmomto2girls
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 Believe me.. I would rather not..lol

Quoting Euphoric:

 I haven't thought about it yet.

 

lga1965
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:20 PM

 my kids were dating age,middle school and high school, in the 1980's. We didn't really have rules and they didn't actually "date". There were a group of friends who spent a lot of time at our house, watching movies and eating popcorn in our family room or playing basketball in the driveway ( basket attaced to the garage) and just being friends. By the time they were in college, they dated but not seriously but they knew all about "protection" and being responsible. By then,they didn't have to answer to us and we trusted them. They didn't disappoint us.

Rules? I'm not sure if they work or if you need them. Keep an eye on your kids but don't behave like "the cops". If you have open lines of communication and if you make sure that your kids aren't so afraid of you that they feel they have to LIE, then everything turns out just fine.

FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:39 PM

My daughters were not (are not) allowed to 'date' until they were (are) 16.  Now, this does not mean they were not (will not be) allowed to go places with friends and I know the boys will be there as well.  

You do not go any where unless you have a purpose.  I need to know where and why and who you know will be there.  You do not get in to a car without an adult driving.  


FromAtoZ
by AllieCat on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:42 PM


Quoting UpSheRises:

My parents were pretty strick. I wasn't allowed to get in a car with a boy until i was 16 then and they were very restrictive about how long i was gone.

For examle, if i was going out to dinner with a boy and he picked me up at 6p i'd have to be home at 7. Not 7:05, 7. I had to be home at 11p for my senior prom.

My girls could not get in to a car unless and until they were legally able to drive that car.  That is, without a responsible adult driving.

I had to know the person (people) and know they were a legally, licensed driver and carried insurance.  

I had curfews as well and when I say what time they damn well made it on time. lol  Although, the time varied but really, other than Prom night, there was no reason to be out and about past midnight.

School nights, in the house no later than 10pm.  No matter what.  But my oldest worked more than any thing else.  


stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, my husband plans on never letting the girls date until they are married.

I will be pretty strict about rules, I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with anyone in a car until I had my license, and I think its a good rule.  No dating on school nights.  I gotta know the kid and the family.

Please remember I am talking tough, my girls are 5 and 7.  lol

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