Abuse and Survival.

[tooptimistic]

There's a he can change post that may give someone being abused false hope.

Anyone been abused and left?  

It would be great to hear survival stories.  :)

[katy_kay08]

Yes.  I was physically abused by my first husband within the first year of our marriage.  I left shortly after the first incident but not before there were two more.  

[Debmomto2girls]

My sister was by her first dh. He swore he would change, bullshit. She did leave and married a wonderful man. Her abuser remarried and did the same thing.

They do not change

[wickedfiress]

My mother waited too long to leave.  That's all I will put on the internet. 

[tooptimistic]

Sorry

Quoting wickedfiress:

My mother waited too long to leave.  That's all I will put on the internet. 

[Debmomto2girls]

OP- thank you for this thread. The other thread IMO sends the wrong message. False hope in the case of abuse can be deadly.

[tooptimistic]

Totally agree.  

Quoting Debmomto2girls:

OP- thank you for this thread. The other thread IMO sends the wrong message. False hope in the case of abuse can be deadly.

[NWP]

I think while it may be possible for an abuser to change with a lot of therapy and a strong will to do so, that it may be made more difficult for him to do so in the same relationship where he was the abuser. There is a certain dynamic there that is very difficult to change. My dad abused my mom who eventually left him. It wasn't until decades of accepting his losses and therapy and the desire to change that he actually did so. I seriously doubt he would ever have stopped if my mom had not left him.

[mehamil1]

In the majority of cases, the abuser does not change. It takes a woman, on average, 8 times to leave her abuser. 

[tooptimistic]

I agree, even with family and freinds support.  :)

Quoting mehamil1:

In the majority of cases, the abuser does not change. It takes a woman, on average, 8 times to leave her abuser. 

[mehamil1]

Leaving completely means support is critical. But that support can be hard to maintain when a woman keeps going back. I understand the frustration that comes with it. 

Quoting tooptimistic:

I agree, even with family and freinds support.  :)

Quoting mehamil1:

In the majority of cases, the abuser does not change. It takes a woman, on average, 8 times to leave her abuser.