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Fluff: Mama Fail or those moments that make you shake your head!

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I'm having the kind of day that makes me wonder what the heck I was thinking having kids.

So, please, make me laugh with either (or both):

1. Your biggest parenting fail. We all have at least one moment when things just went very, very wrong.

2. Rules you never, ever thought you'd need to make in your house.

I had to make a rule that you may only pick your own nose (we also expressed a preference for no-nose picking, but please, if you must, only your own).

We also have a rule that you may not talk about anything that lives in or happens in your pants in public. Public includes Grandma's house.

Also, only one boy may pee in the potty at one time. And each boy may only hold his OWN penis, helping your brother aim does not improve the aim.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:20 PM
Replies (11-20):
NWP
by guerrilla girl on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this

This was my parenting fail...Be sure to explain to your 3 1/2 yo that knots in your hair ARE NOT alive! Or they might just remove them all with scissors after you go to sleep...

Oh, and be sure to put away the scissors.

NWP
by guerrilla girl on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:17 PM
1 mom liked this

DD#2 prefers to go commando. She will remove her underwear and hide them. I have to keep extras in my purse and in our vehicles, but we still wind up places with her in a dress full commando.

One day DH gave a co-worker a ride...and then having to explain why every storage space in the car was full of tiny panties. LOL

katy_kay08
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh, I thought of one parenting fail that I can share.  

For whatever reason (personal amusement) I like to joke around about various topics.  When my husband and I were dating my oldest son (who was 6 or 7 at the time) asked me how we had met.  I jokingly said "I threw a coffee cup out the window and hit his windshield".  No clue why I said it now, it may have been part of a running joke (no I never through a cup out the window). 

My son thought I was being serious and told his stepmom the story of how I threw my coffee out the window and hit DH's truck and that's how we met.   His stepmom clearly knew me better than that, and responded "that's odd, your mom doesn't really strike me as the type to litter".  

Of course I apologized for telling him the whopper story and then told him the how we really met, which wasn't nearly as interesting.  

 

lizzielouaf
by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
We were at Olan Mills getting our first son's picture taken and I heard the unmistakable sound of a breastfed baby filling his diaper. So I take him into the changing station, pull his diaper down, lift his legs and he proceeds to projectile poop all over my chest. Yep. When I walked out I shot my husband the meanest most morally defeated look a human being could ever muster.
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Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 My girl, age 3 at the time, had a tantrum at the mall.  It was a big mall, so it took some time to leave.  I figure she'd been screaming non-stop for about 15 minutes by the time we got out of the mall, packed into the car and started to drive off.  Well...as I pulled into traffic, she must have realized that I was serious about actually leaving. That caused the pitch and volume of her screaming to intensify to a level designed to cause me to lose my mind.  I slammed on the brakes and reached over the seat, swinging my arm to hit her.  But...my seatbelt locked up when I slammed on the brakes.  Folks on either side of my car got a full view of me swinging my arm like a madwoman unable to reach my (apparently) innocent child.

stacymomof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:45 PM

Hahahaha!  That is hilarious!

I remember talking to my brother on the phone and heard this:

"No sitting in chairs in the sink!"  Soon after...CRASH!  wahhhhhhhhh!  my poor niece.  She was OK, though.

A light hearted mistake I made was saying "Isn't that cool?  That's so cool"  when i was talking to the girls when they were babies.  They both had "cool" as their second word.  

An unusual rule...hmm...nothing really funny that I can think of.


saphiraka
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this

My girls are almost 2 years apart. When they were about 4 and 2 we had company and they girls were being pretty noisy so we had them go play in their room.. well it got real quiet (you moms know that ominious quiet where you KNOW they are doing SOMETHING lol)..   We had one of those shower caddys that hung up high in the shower from the shower head.. In it I had a bottle of nair,  (shaving makes my legs break out) it was up on the very top of the shower caddy.. Well somehow my oldest DD knocked it down and decided it was shampoo and her sister needed to have her hair washed..  I caught them right as it had been put on,  Washed it off asap but she wound up with all her hair gone pretty much except one little patch.. We wound up having to take a razor and shave her down to a Cue ball...She didnt have a lot of hair to start with but dang now she was really bald  lol.. It was one of those have to cry about it  but laugh about it too..(especially now, at the time I was sooo upset)..  There was a bright side to it though.. Before the nair, DD hair was straight as could be and really thin..... It grew back in thick and curly  lol..  Not that I advocate Nairing your kiddos  but that was a funny outcome.  lol

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Damnit.

I only have a small one. I haven't gotten there yet.

HOWEVER, I was talking to my mom today and reminiscing about my childhood trauma.

My dad used to tell me I was born a boy but he forgot about me one time out in the cold and my peter froze and fell off.

Talk about superb parenting. Neglect and psychological damage.

lol

Momniscient
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this

This just made me think of one!

I just transitioned my kid into her big girl bed. She has a fish tank in her room and of course got up in the night to 'play.'

I left the fish food out. Brand new bottle.

Kid pulled her giant stuffed teddy chair over to the tank and fed the fishies. The entire bottle.

I woke up to millions of dead fish and a pleased toddler.

Quoting NWP:

DD#2 prefers to go commando. She will remove her underwear and hide them. I have to keep extras in my purse and in our vehicles, but we still wind up places with her in a dress full commando.

One day DH gave a co-worker a ride...and then having to explain why every storage space in the car was full of tiny panties. LOL



GLWerth
by Gina on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:15 PM

My oldest two are 17 months apart and tried to do everything together. I can't imagine twins, it scares me!

But I bet it's fun sometimes too!

Quoting specialwingz:

This one made me lmao.  Reminds me of the days when I was potty trining my twin boys.

sidesplittinglaughter

Quoting GLWerth:

I'm having the kind of day that makes me wonder what the heck I was thinking having kids.

So, please, make me laugh with either (or both):

1. Your biggest parenting fail. We all have at least one moment when things just went very, very wrong.

2. Rules you never, ever thought you'd need to make in your house.

I had to make a rule that you may only pick your own nose (we also expressed a preference for no-nose picking, but please, if you must, only your own).

We also have a rule that you may not talk about anything that lives in or happens in your pants in public. Public includes Grandma's house.

Also, only one boy may pee in the potty at one time. And each boy may only hold his OWN penis, helping your brother aim does not improve the aim.



 

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