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what's the big deal?

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM
  • 110 Replies

Many of you now my husband and I recently hired a live in nanny. If you didn't know now you do. :)

A few days ago my husband was talking with our neighbor and told him that we had hired a nanny. Shortly after I he returned home I received a text from my neighbor's wife asking me why we hired a nanny. She assumed that I was going back to work. She asked me where I was going to be working. I let her know that I have not return the work and I had no intention of going back full time until the fall. Her next question was ' why do you need a live in nanny?'.


My answer to her was that it is the only possible child care situation at my husband and I are comfortable with. We spoke last night, she went on to tell me that she told her mom in a few other people that we hired a nanny. And then she proceeded to tell me about their opinions on the topic. In my opinion the things she told me we're not favorable and clearly none of her business or the concern of the people have opinions.

Can any of you tell me why some women are so hell bent on sticking their nose in other people's lives? Can anyone tell me why it such a big deal if a person who doesn't work full time or even part time hirs a live in caregiver? Why do other people feel like they get to condemn or congratulate you on your parenting style according to their philosophies on life and childrearing? Opinions on personal thoughts are 1 thing, that you actually share those thoughts and ideas with a person and potentially offend them and then feign ignorance like their opinion is not hurtful is ridiculous.

How many of you judge women and stay at home moms and working mothers who actually have help to raise their children?

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Please pardon my autocorrect as I am mobile ...ugh
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by Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:59 AM

 i dont see the big deal like you said its what works best for your situation.

by guerrilla girl on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:01 PM
Ugh....if this is what us best for you and your family then what is it to her?
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by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:08 PM
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It is not a matter of being judgmental.. but I would be curious about the same thing.  If (righ now) you are staying home and you do not work, then why the need for a full-time nanny?

The other reasons that I could think of that would require a SAHM to have "help" raising their kids...

1) SAHM very involved with some sort of non-profit or charity work that requires her attending weekly luncheons, meetings, or events where she could not bring her kids.

2) SAHM that has multiple children, one of which has a disability and they just need an "extra set of hands" to help.

3) WAHM that need to have set office hours that she can work with out being disturbed.

4) You are really super wealthy and don't want to be bothered with the day-to-day raising of your kids... you want to have your cake and eat it too... (This one I say sarcastically, but I am sure there are some on here that would feel this way, so figured I would throw it out there...)

But, even so, I am not sure if these would require a live-in flull-time nanny.  Why not find a couple of well-trusted babysitters (or babysitting services) that you can have on-call to help as needed?  Or even have a nanny that does not live with you?  Is a live-in nanny cheaper in the long run because her room and board are considered in her "pay"?

If I could, I definitely would hire some one to clean my house, even though I am a WAHM.  But, that is because I think there are certanly better things I can do with my time than the "heavy-duty" cleaning - i.e. washing windows, washing down cupboards and walls, scrubbing the bathroom, deep cleaning...etc.

by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:11 PM
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I'm a SAHM, and I'd hire a housekeeper if I could afford it. ;)

The way I look at it, you have just given someone a job. Sounds like a win/win situation that's none of anyone else's business.
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by Bazinga! on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:16 PM

 I don't know why people are so dang nosy. Ugh.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:20 PM

 She's can't afford it and so wants to make you feel guilty about it.  Misery loves company.  In the meantime, enjoy the extra help! 

by René on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:21 PM

None of their business but some people just have to pass judgement.

by Obama licker on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM
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Because it seems that as a whole mothers are the biggest bunch of insecure whiners ever. lol

For some reason mommies suffer the worst from 'if you do it different from me then that somehow makes my choices look bad' mentality.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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 Oh honey, I don't talk much with those types.

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